Post # 1
I’ve seen a lot of posts recently with brides writing about how their friends/ BMs complain about the cost of bachelorette parties.
Most brides are actually paying for majority of the cost, such as transportation and/or hotel rooms… or even planning the party themselves.
I have too, been faced with this problem, with some friends complaining about the cost. I understand that if i’m asking you to fly a weekend to vegas, it will get expensive…but when it’s a party in which big costs are covered, why do people still complain?
You spend money on girls night out, nice dinners, designer bags, etc…
What’s the deal here? I’m curious!
Post # 3
weddingbee098 I actually was really surprised by the last destination bachelorette party that no one offered to pay for ANYTHING for the bride. I thought we would split her cost for dinner and hotel room. I ended up paying for her dinner both nights. Maybe it’s just me but, the party is for her she shouldn’t be paying for everything.
Post # 4
I think it’s as simple as everyone having different circumstances. For example, my husband and I are saving for a house right now. We don’t actually go out and spend a ton of money (right now at least) on nice dinners, we don’t drink alcohol out, and I’m definitely not buying designer bags.
Obviously, for a good friend, I’d budget to be able to attend her bachelorette party and not complain. 😉 But everyone has different budgets, and what’s totally affordable for one person isn’t necessarily affordable for another.
It can be tough to accommodate everyone’s budgets, I know, but hopefully in these situations, the bride and her girls can come to a happy compromise, or the guests can always choose not to attend, although of course they want to help their friends celebrate, so that’s tough too.
Post # 5
I am dealing with this as well. A one night stay about 40 mins. out of town is planned for mine coming this weekend.
I have had family members on his side ask me to cover their portion until they get paid, complain about the cost and invite other people who can’t come anyway because of the cost. $99 for wine tasting, hotel (guests are rooming together) so about $50 for that and dinner. I don’t think it’s that expensive but honestly… If you can’t afford it then don’t go. I understand that money is tight for some people but that’s really not my problem. It’s not like I’m asking people to spend thousands here.
That’s the point of an invitation, you are able to decline.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
Well, as someone who is complaining about the cost of an upcoming bachelorette party… I have to buy plane tickets, will probably have to shell out for a hotel, plus food + drinks for myself AND pitch in to cover the costs for the bride. It’s a lot. Oh and then I’m also expected to help pitch in for the bridal shower and buy a gift and plane tickets for that? And the dress, shoes and hair for the wedding day… Plus MORE plane tickets and another hotel? I am over the moon happy for my friend and I’m going to do all that I can to be there for her during this important time in her life, but I just think the cost of being a bridesmaid is out of control.
And no, I don’t buy designer handbags or have frequent girls nights or nice dinners out… We don’t have a lot of money right now so the last time DH and I went out to dinner was for my birthday back in November.
Post # 7
@Lbward6: Yup, last bachelorette party I went to, I ended up paying for the bride’s dinner too (it was at a fancy restaurant too, plus alchohol, it was like 80 bucks!) I’m not even in the bridal party, but felt bad that none of her BMs or MOH offered to pay for her!
@Gemstone: I agree. I would feel terrible asking my friend who is in grad school, on a 20k stipend to come to a bachelorette party in vegas… but some of my friends always complain about how expensive, when the next day they text me a pic of their new designer bag, or i see on fb of their last night out with $50 dollar steak dinner… I don’t know, I guess people just prioritize differently.
Post # 8
@Lbward6: I’m paying for my expenses for my bachelorette. My best friend who is putting it together shouldn’t have to pay my way, she has had no one offer to chip in either.
Post # 9
@Gemstone: +1000000 Pretty much everything you just said.
Post # 10
My BMs threw a small get together for my bach. It was right after my bridal shower which they also organized with the help of my mom & MIL at a restaurant. They got appetizers to pass around and what not, then when we came back to my house they had already decorated and we watched a chick flick & ate snacks and basically just hung out.
Nobody complained about expenses since it was a small, laid back affair. It was perfectly fun, and really when it came down to it I just wanted to spend time with my closest girl friends anyway.
Post # 11
@weddingbee098: I hear that! And you’re right — everyone prioritizes differently!
Post # 12
I personally would not ask my maids to pay. I get that it’s in my honor, but they’re on tight budgets, and will already have wedding expenses otherwise.
Post # 13
We were afraid of this because our bridal party is all over the place (we moved about six months ago). So we’re having both our bachelor and bachelorette parties together the night before the wedding. We’re getting married about 20 minutes from Atlantic City, so after the rehearsal dinner we’ll gather everyone up and head over there for a couple hours. That way nobody has to pay for an extra flight or hotel room that they wouldn’t already be paying for.
Post # 14
Oh I agree the girl putting it together shouldn’t have to pay that’s kind of her gift but I felt of the other 10 girls (11 girls in the party) could have easily paid an extra $5-10 here and there to cover some of her cost.
Post # 15
In my experience the bride has never paid for the cost of transportation or hotel rooms. That usually falls on The BMs or friends.
I don’t mind paying for a night out at a restaurant and bars and chipping in to cover the cost of the bride. However, I would not go on a destination bachelorette party or do something extremely costly.
ETA: yes, everyone prioritizes differently and it’s not bad that a friend prefers to spend money on a designer bag versus a costly party. I would much rather spend big money on a vacation with my husband over a bachelorette party.
Post # 16
People have different priorities. I can carry a designer bag for years. For the same price, a night of drinking will just give me a hangover and probably lose me some friends, whether I decline or go and there’s always some drama.
My husband and I have savings goals and a budget that doesn’t include lavish parties for other people, so it’s something we have to work in if we really want to go. I have good friends that I’d definitely make a priority, but not just anyone, so consider who you’ve invited, too.