Spin-Off: Would You Go To An Event Without Your DH?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would You Go To An Event Without Your DH/DW?
    Yes! : (200 votes)
    82 %
    No! : (22 votes)
    9 %
    Other! (Explain) : (22 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2018 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @ClassicCorvette:  Naturally I have gone places without my (non-husband) significant other and I will continue that practice if I ever get married so long as it isn’t a situation where both of us should have been invited and weren’t.  I’m just baffled by all these recent threads on the Etiquette board where one part of a married or engaged couple wasn’t invited to a hosted social function!

    Post # 4
    Member
    6507 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Sure, we go to separate events fairly often. In the case of a wedding though where we really should be invited as a social unit (and other friends were), no, I probably wouldn’t go.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1648 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2000

    I wouldnt have a problem going to an event without my husband.  I can have fun without him! I find couples who can’t do anything without each other (like LUNCH with the girls) quite annoying actually.  Time apart is just as important as time together.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5932 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @ClassicCorvette:  We try to get to things as a unit, but there’s only two of us, and sometimes we have to literally be in two places at once…so he goes to his cousin’s wedding, I go to the dinner party at Aunt Elenors and we meet up at home after and share horror stories.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2421 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    @ClassicCorvette:  Yes. It happens.  I work an alternate schedule, so there will be loads of things that my FI will likely have to attend solo.  This is so not an issue for us. 

    ETA: And I don’t stand on ettiquette, ever.  So should he be invited to the wedding with me?  Yes.  Would I miss a good friend’s wedding who just didn’t have it in the budget/space for him? Nope.  He’d understand.  I’d probably be a little disappointed she didn’t think it all the way through, but not so much that I’d miss her wedding to prove my point.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    448 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I frequently go to things without SO obviously I go to lunch and things or drinks with friends but also really formal event to openings and galas and also weddings. It doesn’t bother me and SO is the same.

    It weirds me out when couples have to do EVERYTHING social together

    Post # 10
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I voted no because I’m an introvert homebody and need a crutch person at “events”- either him, a close family member, or a really good friend! If I’m going by myself to see acquaintances-at-best then I’d probably just rather stay home!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2720 posts
    Sugar bee

    I go out or to parties where other people have their husbands all the time without mine. He’ll go to parties without me too. It’s no big deal.

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    15072 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I do lots of things without my dh. I’ve traveled to conferences, attended functions, parties, doesn’t matter. There are some things I would prefer to go with him too but I’m not going to let him not being there stop me from going. My dh often works out of town for long stretches of time, if I stayed in every time h e couldn’t attend something with me then I’d become a hermit. Plus, there are some things that I go to that he just wouldn’t enjoy or somethings where a man in attendance isn’t appropriate.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yes, I would definitely go to (and have gone) to events without H.  However, that’s usually contingent upon knowing other people at said event.  I don’t particularly like attending something where I know no one.

    However, I will say that I would decline events if my H was intentionally not invited or not welcome (with the exception of lady-only or coworker-only events).  For instance, if we were invited to a wedding, formal event, or even just a regular party and my husband was not allowed to come, I would decline the invite.  It’s just rude and disrespectful to not invite SOs.

    Social units are a packaged deal.  Now that’s not saying that couples should be attached at the hip and attend everything together or not at all.  It means that couples should be invited together or not at all.

    Post # 14
    Member
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @ClassicCorvette:  I go to lots of things without my FI! Girls nights, going out downtown, parties, traveling, etc. etc..  I wouldn’t like to go to a wedding without him- and if he wasn’t invited I’d boycott because I’d be annoyed… but I’d go alone if say he was out of town on business or something like that.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We’ve been long distance for two years. We go to events without each other by default. When we are finally living together (in a year), there’ll be things we do that don’t involve the other. Even on our honeymoon it’s likely that we’ll split up so that neither of us misses out on doing something we want, but that the other has no interest in (i.e. I’m dying to go salmon fishing, but he’s meh on fishing, and I hate heights, so I’ll catch some fishies while he does a flightseeing tour.)

    Now, if one of us wasn’t invited and it isn’t a “girls only” or “boys only” type of thing, then we’d reconsider just what kind of people those “friends” were.

    Post # 16
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Most things we go to as a “social unit” (if we are both invited ** and this might relate to that topic that prompted this spin-off)

    BUT that isn’t to say that if something comes up, that the other of us opts out of attending.

    ie… Dinner Party… Mr TTR is out of town on business.  I am still going to go, even if I am the only “single” in the mix.

    ** Being Married, and before that Engaged & Living Together, we would have opted out entirely of a “social” event tho if we’d been SNUBBED and not received an Invite for both of us.  That isn’t cool at all.  Early days tho, when we were just Dating and not a “recognized social unit”… both of us would have done our own thing.  Clearly understanding that if we expected more from people in the way of an Invite, then it would be up to us to declare our Relationship AS MORE (and that oftentimes can be done via a proper introduction… be that by note, exchanging photos, or inviting others out to socialize).  When people don’t make the effort, it is understandable that others don’t get that there is “more than meets the eye” at first glance.

    As for other situations…

    Then or now… Like a Business Invite… or some other type of thing… that is more my friends than his… or his vs mine… we’d have no problem going solo.

    We are pretty independent people being Encores & given our ages… so we can function quite well alone (altho we do generally prefer the company of the other for events that are social / mixed groups in nature)

     

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