Post # 1
So I see these threads all the time and I’m debating on what I want to do. For my parents’ friends and FI’s parents friends we’ll go traditional, but I’m thinking of doing Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe for my friend who are 35 and younger…
What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
I don’t mind it. I was too happy to care anyway!
Post # 4
We just did “Jane and John Doe”
Post # 5
I voted “My name better be on there!” I am adamant about this – I have never, ever consented to giving my entire name up (or any of it, really – I kept my old last name as a second middle). I’d do all invites in the same fashion, unless you don’t know the lady’s first name (which happened for one of our invitees, and made me feel awkward and sad).
Post # 6
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe. I took his last name and I’m very traditional in that sense. I don’t see why people get offended by this!
Post # 7
I’m a feminist, and while I wouldn’t necessarily be offended by it, my strong preference is to have my name written on invitations. However, my mom is deeply offended by any mail she receives that says Mr. and Mrs. Dr. John Doe, and she’s likely to ignore anything she receives that doesn’t have her name on it as well. I’m a little worried about how I will address invitations, as it is hard for me to know how some of the couples, particularly older couples, prefer to be addressed.
Post # 8
I’m not going to be changing my name but if I was I would be offended by Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. I’m still a person in my own right, not just an extension of my husband.
Post # 9
The first options is incorrect … it should say .. Mr & Mrs. John Doe… if it’s traditional. It’s an outside of an envelope, I’ll look at it for 1sec before I rip into it, so i’m guessing i won’t even notice.
Post # 10
I’m traditional. I would want it to be Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. But I’m really old school.
Post # 11
I’m not traditional, but I wrote them the traditional way. I figure if people are upset about the lack of their first name…well, thats part of what happens when you take your husband’s last name! (And why I didn’t)
Post # 12
@Mrs. Fireworks: It is a very individual decision, I think. To me, the offense is that the wording makes it seem like my identity has been overtaken by his, which is simply not the case.
Post # 13
I really like the traditional, unless the woman keeps her maiden name. I think of us as a social unit, and I really don’t feel like receiving cards like this means I’ve given up my identity or anything. I respect people who wouldn’t address invitations like that, but I think getting overly up in arms over it when other people do it is a little excessive. I suppose if you wanted to be kind of traditional, but slightly more modern, “Mr. & Mrs. Doe” without any first names listed would be best.
Post # 14
I think you have an error in your poll options. I believe you intented the first, traditional option to read: “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe” and not “Mr. and Mrs, Jane Doe.” Is that correct?
I am traditional, and I am very happy to be addressed (in our case) as the equivalent of “The Reverend and Mrs. John Doe” or even “Mrs. John Doe.”
However, like @sarahbabs:, my maiden name is very important to me, and I took my maiden name as my new middle name (unlike her, I was unable to keep both and dropped my given middle name), and professionally, I go by the equivalent of “Jane Smith Doe.”
Post # 15
We omitted Mr and Mrs altogether for most people: “John and Jane Doe”
Yes an invitation without my name on it at all does “grate” a little.
Post # 16
I didn’t think much of it and naturally wrote our Mr. and Mrs. Last Name for our Engagement Party invites, then I started doing the research and learned more about this business of addressing envelopes and when I was working on the STD’s I saw how much of a difference it makes to actually put a persons full name…I felt like it was much more respectful esp. since I consider the women attending my wedding to be strong women worthy of their first names on an envelope 🙂
My two cents anyway.