(Closed) SPINOFF: Bridezillamaids

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Have you dealt with bridezillamaid(s)?
    Yes - I kicked her out : (5 votes)
    11 %
    Yes - but we will make it/made it in the end : (13 votes)
    30 %
    Yes - but I didnt care : (2 votes)
    5 %
    No - but its early day : (10 votes)
    23 %
    No - they were perfect with everything : (14 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    755 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @leecy87:  I have the opposite.  My bridesmaids are super-planners and are overly planning every little thing.  I don’t want to have a bachelorette party, I just think it’s excessive for my taste and, well, I’d rather let everyone save their money.  haha, I was told I was “not alllowed to not have a bachelorette party” and then given about 250 ideas/suggestions. It’s overwhelming and so frustrating, but you’re right- it’s about the love not the wedding “things”.

    Post # 5
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Im sure your girls will come through for you! My MOH has been getting on my nerves ugh.

    MOH- I was her MOH (shes my stepsister) and anytime i ask her something wedding related (usually about her clothes) I get a snarky answer so I quit talking wedding with her unless it was something I needed an answer on. I was WAY excited for her wedding and went above and beyond for her so I guess I expected the same?

    BM 1: Shes been amazing! I wish she was my MOH (asked stepsister out of obligation… dumb dumb dumb)

    BM 2: Shes has caused me some worry with ordering her stuff but I know she will get it taken care of. Only thing she does is complain about her weight and how shes “gonna look awful” i try to reassure her all the time but ugh……..

    BM 3: Shes my FSIL…hasnt given me any trouble but we never talk. my communication with her is about the same as my MOH…me: “go pick your dress at at DB in this color with this color shoes” her: “ok! ill let you know when i get it” me: “ok! thanks!”

    I guess I expected it to be like in the movies where everyone is all happy about your wedding and wanting to help or atleast talk about it…nope lol

    Post # 6
    Member
    838 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    I picked out the BMs dresses, emailed them all with the information. My sister immediately called me and asked why she wasn’t involved in picking out the dress. I stated that I didn’t ask for anyone’s opinion and it wasn’t up for discussion. She asked me how I knew she wanted to wear that dress?

     

    I told her not to wear it. She was out.

    Post # 7
    Member
    263 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @leecy87:  Wow, she won’t even msg you back how rude!

    Yes I have one….my MOH who is also my younger sister. She has done some things that have made me boil over in to bridezilla mode. I feel that brides do get painted with the bridezilla brush when really it’s the people around them causing some of the stress ( wedding party, vendors, FI). I know I have had a few moments where I broke down in tears because I was literally doing everthing and no was there to offer up help or they were too busy with their own lives to lend a helping hand.

    Post # 9
    Member
    263 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MiSsyK:  I had the same expectations for my wedding party. Us girls watch all of these movies where everyone is happy and excited for the bride-to-be when in reality no one really cares about talking to you about flowers and linen colours. I think that’s why a lot of girls hire coordinators, they get excited for you and help you plan everything. I wish I had spent that extra money and maybe my planning experience would have been better.

    Post # 10
    Member
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @DJones69:  I think you misunderstand who deserves the ‘zilla title in your story.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4664 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My bridesmaids have been AMAZING. With the stories I hear on here, I feel so lucky. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable or put them out at all so I hesitate to make demands, or bring up wedding stuff too much, but they’ve all been so quick to offer me assistance, offer to take on wedding jobs, and generally do things to help. 😀

    Post # 12
    Member
    2326 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @DJones69:  that is a bit harsh..

    Post # 13
    Member
    838 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    @likewoah:  

     

    @Nic01:  

     

    @june2013bride:  

     

    No. I don’t do drama. If you want to bring drama, then you’re going to be sitting somewhere by yourself. I was proactive in making sure she kept her attitude at home. I don’t want anyone to wear anything they don’t want to wear, but if I wanted a bunch of different opinions about something, I would have asked them for it. My sister is notoriously difficult about EVERYTHING where she isn’t in charge. She’s been that way since childhood (I’m 37, she’s 43). She attended the wedding as a guest, so she could wear anything she wanted.

     

    Turns out at the time she went on that tirade, she hadn’t even SEEN the dress because she didn’t open the attachment to the email before she decided to call me and go off. She called me a week later after she figured out I was serioius to tell me she already HAD that dress in a different color. My response to her was…. oh. My mother called me  a month later to ask if she could be put back in the wedding and I said no, I don’t do drama and mess.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee

    I guess I expected it to be like in the movies where everyone is all happy about your wedding and wanting to help or atleast talk about it…nope lol

    Post # 15
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @DJones69:  While I wouldn’t have kicked her out of the wedding altogether, I definitely get the need to put your foot down.  I let my girls pick their own styles of dress, while I picked the designer, color, and length (so basically they got to choose the neckline and whatever details they wanted on it).  I knew they all had different tastes, and so I let them run with it, but if I had wanted them all to match, I would have been the same as you… I would’ve picked it and told them that was their dress, take it or leave it.

     

    When you’re wedding planning, you can’t let everyone give their opinions (or you can’t actually LISTEN to them all, anyway, take them with a grain of salt if you must let them give their opinions), or you’ll never get anywhere.  Everyone seems to think that they have a right to tell you what THEY think about YOUR wedding plans, and that’s bullshit.  People need to learn to keep their mouths shut, smile, and nod, because it’s YOUR wedding.  If they don’t like it, tough, they can have their own wedding where they can do what they want.  If being confident in your opinion makes you a bridezilla, then yes, I’m a bridezilla. Wink

    Post # 16
    Member
    838 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    @Blonde17Jess:  I don’t like the idea of mix matched dresses. I was very careful to make the dress selection something I knew would be affordable and looked good on all their body types (they ranged from size 10 to size 24), given that one of my BM’s (my SIL) was also going to have ALL FOUR of her daughters in my wedding (and was driving from one state over) and would have to buy dresses for them as well. One of my other BMs (another SIL) was going to have her daughter and son in my wedding and lives in yet another state so she had to drive from one state over, so that meant an additional dress and tux for her, my MOH was going to have to fly across the country (hotel, plane ticket, shuttle to/from the airport, food, rental car, etc.). I had (before I kicked her out) 5 bridesmaids in 4 states, then I had 4 in 4 states. At that same time, I was planning a wedding from the other coast, with a child getting ready for college, and my organizing a cross country move. I didn’t have TIME for foolishness. Anyone who gave me grief was out, after reading THIS board for a day, that much I was sure of because I’m not as passive as these people on here and I feel very little obligation to anyone who is going to give me shit, I don’t care how you’re related to me.

     

    I sent TWO emails to all my bridesmaids the ENTIRE time we were planning our wedding and those were the ONLY conversations I had with them regarding the wedding.

     

    1. Where to find your dress, the color to order it in and the price (attached is a photo). Please pick a light silver shoe of your liking (it’s a floor length gown, no one will see your shoes anyway). Your hair can be worn any way you like it. I will take care of all your accessories and jewelry. Delivery time is expected to be 10-12 weeks, please make sure you order your dress in enough time to get all necessary alterations done (notice I didn’t give a date). In case you forget, you’ll find all the dress information in my profile at any David’s Bridal. I selected David’s because there was one within 30 minutes of each of them. SIL with the ring bearer, the hubster will get with you about his tux. When I select a flower girl dress and a jr. bridesmaid dress, I’ll let you know, but it’ll be in the next month so you guys can plan your finances accordingly. The girl’s hair can be any way you choose. The jr. bridesmaids shoes should all be the same or similar shoe because their shoes will be able to be seen, the flower girl shoes should be silver or white, but the same color for both girls. I’ll let you guys coordinate that.

     

    2. The rehearsal is scheduled for XXX date (day before the wedding) at XXX time. Dinner to follow here. Thanks!

     

    I made one phone call to both my sisters in law to tell them that I had extra money in my budget and would buy all the jr. bridesmaids dresses and flower girl dresses and I’ll ship them to them when I bought them because I could get them from the garment district in LA for much cheaper than they would be able to find them anywhere (the jr. bridesmaids dresses were $25 each, the flower girl dresses were $40 and that included their petticoats) and instead of a tux, put the ring bearer in a black suit, white shirt and the hubster would pay for his vest and tie rental.

     

    That’s it. No muss, no fuss. No nothing. Just show up, walk down the aisle, take pretty pictures and be done with it.

     

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