Spinoff – Careers, Family, and Balance

posted 2 years ago in Career
  • poll: What is your choice on the mix of career and family
    One of us is/will be a SAHP and the other will work full time : (4 votes)
    14 %
    Both of us is/will continue to work full time after having children without career restriction : (13 votes)
    45 %
    One of us is/will work full time, the other will work part time after having children : (3 votes)
    10 %
    One or both of us is/will be taking a slower pace at our full time work after having children : (9 votes)
    31 %
    I am/will be a single parent working full time without career restriction : (0 votes)
    I am/will be a single parent working full time at a slower pace in career advancement : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    988 posts
    Busy bee

    Officially, FI and I have agreed to have no kids. Both of us are perfectly happy with that decision and don’t anticipate any changes to our way of thinking any time soon. That said, we have also discussed the possibilities (as in if we change our minds or an unplanned baby comes along) and agreed that we would prefer to have a SAHP. At this point, it would likely be him (which he is not only okay with…he loves the idea), but would truthfully be a discussion we’d have to have when the time comes and depend on which one of us really can/should leave or career at that point in time.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    We already have a kid and are TTC for #2 very soon. We will both continue working, and have no plans to slow down our careers just because we have children. I’ve passed up promotion opportunities, but that choice is not related to my family. I just don’t feel like having to do all of the HR bs that comes along with being a manager. haha

    Post # 6
    Member
    2421 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    We will both work and it’s unlikely children will stall either career.

    He will likely take the last few months of our parental leave and once we’re both back to work my mother will be caring for our child in our home (due to the way our work schedules go it looks like it’ll be 3 days a week for her.)

    Post # 7
    Member
    549 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I voted FT and part time because as of now that is the plan but we’re about 5 years out before TTC and plans change, frequently.

    Post # 8
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m one of the “choose to remain childless” ones. My FI and I both plan to work. My FI could support us on his salary but I love my work and wouldn’t give it up. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    nadnuk:  Although we would have an opportunity for me (because I make less) to be a SAHP, we will both continue to work in our FT jobs.  I have earned my career, and do not want to ‘give it up’ – unless it was absolutely necessary for our family!!  

    However, where I had been talking about finding a new job over the summer, I have also decided to keep the one I have – which I like, but do NOT love by any means, so that I can have more flexibility. I will have a solid/paid Maternity Leave, a lot of flex time, and the opportunity to use comp time, etc.  Meaning, WHEN baby is sick, I can be the one to stay home because DH has no flexibility, is in a higher demand position, and makes double what I do!!!

    We are TTC soon, and that, today is our game plan!

    Post # 10
    Member
    4810 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We don’t have kids yet, but we will both work when we do. If I made a ton of money, my husband would probably like to be a stay at home dad or just do some contract work part-time from home. I worked my butt off to get a PhD and really like what I do, plus I’d go nutso just being a mom. I do work from home and could go freelance in the future (ie fewer hours), so there’s a lot of flexibility. I don’t think anyone needs to give up their career for children if they don’t want to. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It’s hard to predict. We’ll probably have kids in the next few years. I’ll take off for maternity leave, but then I’ll have to figure out how much I want to work full time v part time and have time to stay with the kid. FI has a flexible job that allows for good work life balance, so that opens a lot of doors in terms of childcare for the potential kid.

    Post # 12
    Member
    795 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’m not the breadwinner. Actually DH and I make about the same, but he’ll stay at home and pursue his NP and work partime while I continue to work full time. In his profession it’s easier for him to take extended periods of time off, book a shorter schedule, etc. He’ll still get full benefits and his employer will pay for NP school so it’s a win-win. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My husband and I don’t have children yet, but our plan is for me to stay at home with our kids until they start school, and then go back to work. My career is just not that important to me, I went to school for two years, but my parents had an education savings fund that paid my tuition, and I paid my own living expenses, so I don’t have any student loans or anything to pay off. I think if I did I might feel a little worse about leaving the workforce. I would still probably do it though. I work in a low paying industry where it can take a long time to work your way up, so my earning potential is pretty low. My husband earns three times what I do, and we can easily live on his income alone, so me staying at home won’t be a problem, especially because we plan on moving to a smaller town with a lower cost of living, but my husband wil continue to earn the same salary, and have a shorter commute. I do have an income property that earns me a little bit of money every month, and we’ve agreed that I will use that as my “fun money” to spend however I wish, because even though we have joint accounts and treat our money as ours I would still feel a bit bad spending his hard earned cash on something unneccesary like getting my nails done or going out for lunch.

    Our ultimate goal is to have a farm, so I may never have to go back to working full time at someone else’s company, which would really be awesome. I would love to have cattle, chickens and pigs and a small market garden, and have my main job be to take care of the animals and gardens, and market what we produce. That would be much more fulfilling to me than my current career. If for some reason it isn’t sustainable though I will go back to work once our kids are in school. I know that I won’t make it as far up the corporate ladder as I could if I went back to work as soon as my maternity leave was over, but climbing that ladder has never really been a goal of mine, so I’m not worried about it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1446 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    This is such an interesting question.  We are starting TTC so I have been thinking about this a lot.  I voted that we both will continue to work FT with no changes, but the reality is more complicated.  We both have demanding jobs, and both have Master’s degrees and school loans as a result.  I don’t feel like one of us will have to give up our jobs when we have a kid, but I have been questioning whether I WANT to keep doing my current job when we have kids.  It is pretty exhausting and hard to leave work at work.  I have been thinking of transitioning into something less draining in a few years (I just started my current job a few months ago, so no changes for awhile).  That kind of change would require a pay cut, but I am starting to feel like it might be worth it.

     

    We can’t afford for one of us to stay home (expensive city, etc) but even if we could, I think I’d still want to work 20-30 hours a week.  I don’t think I’d be cut out to be a SAHM.  My DH says he would be a SAHD if it were possible, but I think he has no idea how hard it would be!  He hasn’t spent much time around little kids.

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