Spinoff: Church Thread. Where Do You Go? Do You Go?

posted 3 years ago in Christian
  • poll: Do You Attend Church? (Select all that apply)
    Yes, as regularly as I can : (34 votes)
    28 %
    Sometimes, most only on occasion or for special events : (4 votes)
    3 %
    No, I do not regularly attend : (23 votes)
    19 %
    I was raised in church and still attend : (24 votes)
    20 %
    I was raised in church and do not attend : (19 votes)
    15 %
    I was not raised in church and do not attend : (10 votes)
    8 %
    I was not raised in church but DO attend : (7 votes)
    6 %
    other : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I grew up Catholic, and went to Catholic School from K-12th grade. My HS was an all girl Catholic school. I attended mass once a week until I was 17. In college I went through a massive doubt phase. I questioned everything about the Church, and religion in general for years. I found that I still believed in a lot of the basics of Catholicism. I learned to seperate my faith from the organization of the Catholic Church. With that I started my search for the right Church to attend. I found one a few months before DH proposed. My Church feels so warm and welcoming, and they are pretty progressive as far as Catholic Churches go. I still don’t agree with the politics of the Church. I rarely attend Church, though, to be honest. I am ok with that though because I never bought into the concept that prayer and worship can only happen inside the walls of a Church.

    Post # 4
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee

    I go to our local Church of England church. I live in the town I grew up in, so it’s also the church I grew up in. I joined the choir 18 months ago, and really enjoy it, it’s brought another dimension to my worship. 

    My church is very ‘high’ – in CofE terms this means there’s a lot of ceremony, “bells and smells” (ie incense etc) which I mostly don’t mind. (Think of it as Catholic being high church, baptist is low church – we’re close to Catholic sometimes!). Occasionally it gets a bit much, but then at Christmas, Eastef etc it really adds something special. Our vicar used to be a Bishop in Australia, and is effectively using this as a stepping stone to retirement. 

    Despite being high church and traditional, the church has a lovely community, and is not judgemental in the slightest. Our last vicar was gay (still slightly uncertain territory for the CofE, especially 20 years ago!), and when I had my daughter, unmarried at 19, I never had a single bad comment – the whole church rallied round. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4540 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

     Were you raised in church? If so, what kind ( denomination)? Are you still a member? Why or why not? Not really, no. I was raised a Christian, but we didn’t go to church. In middle and high school, I went to a non-denominational Christian private school, and went to youth group at the biggest church in town (Baptist). I haven’t regularly gone to church since then, but FH and I are planning to join a church when he stops working on Sunday mornings. 

    What positive aspects/experiences did you have in church? The private school I attended was the most church-like experience I’ve ever had, other than youth group. There was such a sense of community and family. We really loved each other, and our teachers loved us. Love is such a big part of Christianity. 

    What negative aspects/experiences did you have in church? Gossip. Drama. Though that may have been partially because we were a bunch of teenagers. 

    Is there any particular aspect of your denomination that sets it apart? ( example: Baptist don’t drink, Catholics do not use BC, etc) My whole family is Baptist and I’ve actually never heard the not drinking thing. I know they don’t drink or dance in church, but I’ve never heard that they don’t do it in general. I know plenty of good Baptists who drink occasionally. They look down on getting drunk, which I think most denominations do, but even Jesus turned water into wine. Maybe it’s an older generation thing? 

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    1931 posts
    Buzzing bee

     Were you raised in church? If so, what kind ( denomination)? Are you still a member? Why or why not?

    I was raised Catholic and left around the age of 13 after my six-year-old cousin died of leukemia and I was told it was just “God testing us”. 

    What experiences did you have in church?

    I had very few positive experiences in church. I hated Sunday School, I hated the way my church viewed homosexuality and I hated the way that I was told how “mysterious” God was for killing off my family members and that I wasn’t praying hard enough or they would still be alive.

    Is there any particular aspect of your denomination that sets it apart? ( example: Baptist don’t drink, Catholics do not use BC, etc)

    Catholics don’t use birth control. I absolutely do.
     

    Post # 7
    Member
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I forgot to break down positive and negative.

    Negative: I can’t stand the organization of the Church, the human mistakes leadership makes. I disagree with the politics of the Church as I am much more socially liberal.

    Positives: When I really sit and think about it Catholicism is still where I feel most comfortable, faith wise. I tried a lot of other religions and never found peace. My faith keeps me there despite my political affiliations.

    Post # 8
    Member
    13168 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I consider myself a non-demoninational Christian and I was brought up with those beliefs.  But my family never went to church, not even for the holiday services.  The only times a went to church as a kid were a couple times with friends’ families after sleepovers.

    When I was 16, I spent 3 or 4 months going to church every Sunday.  I wanted to experience it and see if I thought it was for me.  I’d been a part of bible studies and youth groups (through Young Life) that I enjoyed so I wanted to see this other aspect.

    Basically, I decided at that point that attending church services wasn’t for me and I didn’t really see any benefit to them for myself.  For me, my beliefs are all about my personal relationship with God, not a church trying to dictate how that relationship ought to be.  I don’t need a church leader telling me how I should believe, act, or live my life.  God and I already work that out through my prayers.  🙂

    I plan to raise our kids the same way my parents raised me.  I’ll share my beliefs with them but I don’t feel that attending church services needs to be a part of being a Christian.  If they choose to explore that (like I did), I’ll support them though because I understand that everyone approaches their beliefs differently and if they get benefit out of attending services, more power to them!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @musician32992:  Wow, someone in the Church blamed you for not praying hard enough? What a terrible experience. I always hated the phrase, “It’s God’s will” when bad things happen. Idk how I will explain those kind of things to my kids someday but it sure as hell won’t start with, “God’s will.”

    Post # 10
    Member
    3112 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Mrs_Amanda:  I was raised Catholic and I love it!  I go to mass every Sunday, and now that I’m off for the summer (teacher) I go to daily mass every day at 9 am.  I love how universal Catholicism is.  No matter where I go there’s going to be a mass just like I’m used to at home!

    Post # 11
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

     Were you raised in church? If so, what kind ( denomination)? Are you still a member? Why or why not?

    I was raised in the LDS church. (Mormon). I am still a member and go every Sunday. My current calling (job in the church) is a Relief Society teacher- once a month I teach the lesson to the women’s organization. I go because I firmly believe in it and my life is where it is because of my beliefs. I couldn’t imagine life without it!

    What positive aspects/experiences did you have in church?

    I loved the community and being surrounded by people who support you and love you. I feel like my famly was 10x bigger simply because I was raised and spent some much time in the homes of friends who I saw every week at church on Sunday. They, and their parents, had a profound impact on my upbringing.

    I also love the way it affected the decisions I made. The only person I’ve ever slept with is my husband and it was a very special experience on our wedding night.

    What negative aspects/experiences did you have in church?

    I can’t think of any.

    Is there any particular aspect of your denomination that sets it apart? ( example: Baptist don’t drink, Catholics do not use BC, etc)

    Mormons don’t drink, do drugs, and believe in abstaining from sex before marriage. We also believe in getting married in our Temples. Men typically serve 2 year missions, and females are of course allowed to serve as well but their mission length is 18 mos. My husband served in Rancagua, Chile. He had a great experience and loved the work and the people there so much that he didn’t want to come home.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    10495 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

     Were you raised in church? If so, what kind ( denomination)? Are you still a member? Why or why not?
    Yes, althought we stopped going when I was pretty young.  It was the United Church of Canada, but I no longer regularly attend.  I tend to go to things outside of the church that are related to it.

    What positive aspects/experiences did you have in church?

    Nothing in particular stands out.  People were friendly and supportive.

    What negative aspects/experiences did you have in church?


    Any negative experiences were actually in other churches.  Just awkwardness from not knowing what’s going on, and some of the comments made about groups of people.  Ie. Mental illness is the devil’s work and people are possessed, gays are evil, etc.

    Is there any particular aspect of your denomination that sets it apart? ( example: Baptist don’t drink, Catholics do not use BC, etc)


    It only exists in Canada.  The moderator is gay and married.  It has more of a bottom up approach.  Communion is open to anyone who wants to participate.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Pretty much the only mention of god while I was growing up was saying grace before dinner. We did not go to church and had no particular affiliation. I have been agnostic ever since I can remember…if I lean toward anything it would be buddhism more than christianity.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5932 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @Mrs_Amanda:  I’m actually glad someone brought this up….because for someone like me, to end up with someone like Mr. 99…well, it was just what the doctor ordered.

    I was raised by people who placed a lot of importance and attention on intelligence, integrity and independence….so, my childhood was a far cry from what other kids were living, but it was a wonderful way to grow up. 

    We had our daily routine, bedtime was a personal choice however if I wanted to stay up that didn’t mean everyone else did too and I would have to respect that….reading was more important than eating, art was life and the exchange of ideas was paramount to our family experience….we celebrated Christmas and Easter, but when I was younger, it was more to placate the religious members of my family, as they left this Earth, those days became less about the religious aspect they symbolized and morphed into something we created from simply gathering together.

    I was not exposed to church as a child and I wonder if that wasn’t by design….it wasn’t until I was much older that I found myself in situations where I was in a church, of any denomination….and while I certainly do not mind or find it uncomfortable…I marvel at the idosycricies they practice.

    Mr. 99 was raised Catholic, however totally rejected the religion and was looked down upon by his family for that choice….he would attend the holiday mass and things like that, but truly hated all of it and felt like a liar for even going.

    Once he met me, it was like he had permission to stop doing those things….his father confronted me about it once, asking why I was turning his son away from God and I simply told him, “I don’t think what your son is looking for can be found in buildings of brick and stone….call it whatever you like, we seek the same thing however your son and I walk a different path.”

    He was terribly angry and we don’t see much of them anymore….I really admire and appreciate the good intentions behind a church community, but am often disappointed at the miasma of personal agendas, politics and general unpleasantness that detract from the ideal as a whole….turning the whole experience into something completely opposing the ideals they represent.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Were you raised in church? If so, what kind ( denomination)? Are you still a member? Why or why not?
    I attended a Methodist church from ages 4-10. I am no longer a member. I actually HAD to attend because that was a stipulation of my grandparents allowing us to live with them. I was bored, I was kicked out of Sunday School for asking too many questions, and I never believed in anything they taught anyway.

    What positive aspects/experiences did you have in church?
    Ours was a pretty supportive environment. I liked getting and signing birthday wishes for congregants and there were always snacks (not great snacks, but snacks). The pastor who took over right near the end was a really cool guy (but he has since moved to another church). 

    What negative aspects/experiences did you have in church?
    I very strongly dislike the new pastor. He did my grandpa’s funeral and just butchered everything. I was told to make a list of memories of my grandpa and I and send them to my grandma. She printed off the email for him and he NEVER BOTHERED READING IT. He mispronounced a bunch of things and read it verbatim at the funeral (it was just a list of phrases!), rather than putting them into the eulogy. Oh, and he was LATE, ran in to the church (thankfully before the service started), and was just very obviously unprepared when he had a solid effing week to prepare. I was kicked out of Sunday School a couple of times because I asked questions (not rude ones, as I was a child, but I just wanted clarification on some things and they didn’t want to answer me). I also hate getting up early and pews are uncomfortable. If I attended the sermon instead (because I could sit in back and draw instead of doing whatever activity they were doing in SS), I really hated the bit where they pass the plate (we had no money), and the whole shaking hands part. I literally knew NO ONE else at the church and was a very shy/anxious child in situations like that, so I would always try to hide or to go the bathroom. 

    Is there any particular aspect of your denomination that sets it apart? ( example: Baptist don’t drink, Catholics do not use BC, etc)
    Nothing I can think of? It was pretty casual/no weird rules that I recall.

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