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Another post made me think,
If it weren't "rude" would you actually tip your vendors?
I just personally feel like I'm already dropping quite a bit of coin and that it is kind of absurd to expect me to give them MORE money than what we agreed upon.
A thank you note, sure but a TIP!! The employees are working for their agreed upon rate and shouldn't really expect anything else.
AM I CRAZY HERE???
none of those options gave me a chance to vote. There is to many variables to consider.
I tip where called for. Where called for depends drastically. I tip huge 30% if deserving. I will burn you with a tip if you're not deserving despite ettiquette. To me "it depends" is my answer, so I didn't vote.
I would still tip as long as I thought they did a great job. I dont believe tips should just be automatic...they are extra and should be earned. My FI and I disagree about this because he always gives a 15% tip no matter what and I refuse to to tip for poor service.
I did not tip independent business owner providers: photographer, florist, wedding planner, and such. My venue included a tip for the servers, that is fine by me, they should be tipped as most servers don't earn a lot and a tip is part of their income. But why would I tip my photographer 20%? She named her price for a service, I pay it and expect the service. I don't feel I need to tip her another 20% for it, etiquette or not!
@vmec: I agree with this. Just as when I go out to eat, I tip depending on the level of service I received. If I didn't receive good service, I may tip a little but not nearly as much as if someone worked extremely hard while still being able to be friendly and wonderful.
Edit: I will add I did not tip my photographer as she owns her own business but I did make sure she was well fed, treated very well, and received a thank you card.
I agree, I don't think any of those answers fit how I feel.
I think that the wedding industry practically demanding and expecting a tip for each vendor is ridiculous. My wedding planner has it written into our budget...I would say that is pretty much expected. A tip should be based on performance and I cannot for the life of me understand why a vendor can expect a tip if they don't perform well. The same goes for table service or any other hospitality industry.
I have done my time in several hospitality positions and I felt the same way then as I do now. If you do your job well you deserve to be well compensated and vice versa...it should never be expected.
No... they told me how much they want for the job they are doing, and that's how much we agreed upon. If someone goes above and beyond extraordinarily, then I will send a tip after the wedding with a thank you card.
An exception to this is the minister, who does not have a fee. I am giving him $40.
@cubicalmouse: I agree that if someone did something above and beyond, that is deserving of a thank you and a tip.
Most of our vendors were not even tipable, and I am a full believer in tipping when appropriate. We went with a caterer that did not accept tips, as great as the food was they deserved it, but they couldn't accept it. Since they were corporate, I sent a nice letter to her boss, the corporate office, and also sent them a copy of the post I wrote here.
I only plan on tipping those who do a really great job and it probably won't be 20% because that's a lot of money. My vendors are aware that my fiance and I are on a tight budget, so I don't think they expect a huge tip on top of their payment. I'm sure they would appreciate it, but it's not realistic for every bride.
I feel like a good review is great too!
If I were to tip anyone it would probably be my poor wedding planner who has gone way above and beyond the terms of the contract, even on her personal time talking me off of many a crazy ledge.
Allways check to see where the included gratuity is going for your servers. I know at the place I work the servers get shafted really bad. There is a 20% gratuity added, the house gets 18 and the servers get 2% SPLIT by the number of workers. I'm in the kitchen and i helped serve for a 20,000$ new years event. There were a bunch of servers... my tip was 2.00$ I was THRILLED let me tell you.
@imalittlebirdie: I used to banquet serve, never got a tip!
You are supposed to, anything less than minimum wage. That is waht the Add on Gratiitys is supposed to be for.. but....cest la vie.
I'm of the school of thought that you do not tip business owners, because they are the ones who directly see the money that you are payng them. So people like my photographer, DJ, wedding planner, videographer, etc who own their business and will actually be the one performing service on the wedding day, I wil not tip. But the hairstylists who work for a salon where the salon will get the money, I will probably tip because most of the money I pay goes to the salon, not them individually. Our venue includes a gratuity that goes to the waitstaff and bartenders.
Most of my vendors already charged 20% gratuity but they still wanted me to tip and additional 20% gratuity on top of that because the original gratuity that was paid supposedly "only paid for their hourly rate". I don't believe it. I didn't tip the caterer extra because I was unhappy with them but I did tip the bartenders, wedding coordinators and DJ extra.
@WILLIAKELLLB: YOu are not crazy because I feel the same way. I've always thought it was so strange that all vendors expect tips on top of their rates. It's not like working a SAturday is unusual or out of the ordinary for any of them and they all had contracted hours that they did not stay beyond. No one actually went 'above and beyond' besides our venue, but again I still think it's strange to tip a venue since even a 5% tip would be a HUGE chunk of money! They were more expensive than other places because they had a reputation for going above and beyond.. so in a way we were already 'tipping' them.
Our venue told us not to tip their staff because they would have been on the ship working somewhere else regardless and that these were the types of things included in the "miscellaneous tips" when you cruise. We are going to tip the officiant/DOC (their the same person) because they are contracted vendors for the venue and we'll see about getting a tip to the server and photographer once we're on the ship.
@KLloyd1: That is absurd--If you've already been charged a gratuity or service charge that was the tip. Personally, I'd feel bad and still tip on top, but make sure I/ my DOC put envelopes in the hands of the servers at the event in order to make sure they received it.
@Carnival_Bride: GETTING MARRIED ON A SHIP SOUNDS SOOOOO AWESOME. DW OVERLOAD!
Unless the vendors go above and beyond the call of duty, they don't need a tip on top of what they are charging. Some automatic tips you can't get out of though, llke the gratituity for the caterer, but in that case, they don't need anything else.
Also, a tip should *never* be handed out before the service is performed. Wait until well after the wedding is over so you can come down from cloud 9 you are on at the wedding and assess how they performed and decide from there. A vendor who does a bad or mediocre job should not get any tip, as it shows them that their attitude is perfectly acceptable to repeat.
We only have one tippable vendor (all the rest is DIY), and that is our caterer. There is a 15% gratuity added and I asked our caterer if this goes directly to our servers, he said yes, all of it does. I also asked if it is customary to tip additionally and he said no. Depending on the number of servers, I may still add a small additional thank you gratuity, we'll see. We both worked in the service industry and it's important to us that the staff is taken care of, so we made sure that when we were looking at catering prices, we took the gratuity into account and made room in our budget for that.
All of our vendors (but the videographer & limo whom were not hired by us!) were simply put fantastic!
We went in planning to tip the minimum but with extra in the envelope if they went above and beyond. They ALL did. And we felt that it was deserving of an extra thank you in the form of a extra generous tip.
NOPE Not crazy. I read the rule of thumb is that if they own the business you don't need to tip them. BUT my friend is a wedding photograper and it is his company says he starts off on a bad foot if he isn't tipped and doesn't feel the need to go above and beyond what he needs to do. Which leads me to the next question...do you tip before your wedding starts? I thought it would be towards the end of the night if you were to tip, like at a restaurant....But with that, I am tipping a few of my self employed vendors who I felt gave above and beyond service.
My venue included the 20% and I;d recommend double checking your contracts to make sure you arent already being charged; heck you get a charged when you eat at a restaurant with more than 8 people, why wouldnt they at your wedding. Right?!
I was going to give my Photog a GAS card for their travelings and as a Thank You! But thats it!
I wont know how much I'll really love & be happy with my florals til I receive them the day of.
DJ was expensive enough for the short time we have him.
Call me crazy, cheap or rude, but I personally think most Vendors "Tip" themselves in their charge of cost to do the job.
Regardless of what the etiquitte articles and wedding websites said, I took a very limited approach to tipping. Vendors charge a lot to begin with just because it's a wedding. It doesn't cost more to cater a wedding than a Christmas part, but the cost can be nearly 2x. Each of my vendors was hired to do a specfic job, so I think it's ridiculous to tip them for doing what they were hired to do. The only people I tipped were limo driver, hair dresser, and waitstaff. Limo driver and hair dresser got about 15% because those industries are standard for tipping and neither had "wedding" rates. I didn't tip waitstaff as a percentage, but I gave about $4/pp to split among all of the waiters/bartenders working.
I also gave a gift to venue's wedding coordinator because I felt she really went above and beyond in answering my questions and helping me plan.
I was pissed I had to tip, to be honest. I was payin $$$ for all my vendors and I wasn't a pushy or demanding bride. Hey it's their job! My servers were all making $17 an hour anyways... that's a lot of money for serving on a Saturday.
At the end, I felt like everyone had their hand out.
I won't be tipping unless it's in the contract or if the parents want to tip. It won't be coming from FI or I's wallet. As PPs have said, we're paying an agreed upon price, and that's what we're paying. People already charge differently for weddings than they would anything else
In San Francisco, the living wage is $10 an hour. Many places pay much better than that. I don't feel bad if I don't tip, they're still making good money. I typically double the tax when I eat out. But I strongly feel like it's different for weddings because they cost soooo much more money.
What really urks me is that my $25,000 bill from the venue which includes food and beverages has an automatic 20% tip on top of the 25k. Based on reviews and experience with the place, I know they should be worth it, but if they suck they still get that 20%.
I don't know, I feel like after spending $60,000 on the wedding, I just don't care about the tips any more. Everyone tries to nickle and dime, and everything around is is just so damn expensive. If I have to tip, I only want it to be 10-15%, but FI is a good tipper and will probably do 20%.
My venue also has a manditory tip of atleast 15%, so thats 1350 just in tips MINIMUM.
I guess I don't get it. Our venue took an automatic 20 %. The only other person I always tip is my stylist, 20 % because she is awesome and I love her- and it is customary to tip her, plus - she is responsible for my hair! I don't think I tipped anyone else.
I suppose I just also have a bad taste in my mouth from added gratuity at large party tables where simply put, I'm gettin shitty service if I want it or not.
I've made management remove it before, and if I know I'm going to be in a situation where it's added on I bring cash so I can claim I don't have a card so they can't run it behind my back ANYWAY***AHEM A CERTAIN CHICAGO STYLE PIZZARIA IN CINCINNATI THAT SUCKS*****
Was anyone kinda sitting with their hands tied, since you HAD to use the venue's caterer? I'm feeling like that will be my downfall.
@PinkMagnoliasr that's a lot? Keepers, when I did waitressing I'dnever work for less than $25 p/h on weekends!
Thankfully tipping isn't a big deal in Australia like it is in the US so I'll only tip if someone goes above and beyond the call of duty, but not just for doing their job.
@WILLIAKELLLB Yes and no. We went our venue because it was the most affordable one that was also attractive. Anywhere else would have been double.
we only tipped vendors who do not own their business. I tipped my make up artist (too much I might add), hair stylist, DJ since we booked her through a company, and the venue manager.
I am all about tipping because I know how much work is put into a wedding. These people make sure your day runs smoothly.
I was hesitant on tipping the delivery guy for our flowers. I was literally standing there in my gown asking my photographer if I should tip him! I never ended up tipping him though. There was a delivery fee in my contract.
Aside from the venue/caterer, I can't think of any vendor we've hired who doesn't own their business. Our venue build the gratuity into their bill, so while I'm paying it, I'm paying it to the venue.
We're big tippers, so auto-grats usually leave staff with less than we'd give them.
I plan on giving gifts to some of our vendors.
http://www.findalink.net/tippingetiquette.php
Here's an interesting list, and the part on weddings is pretty far down the page. Maybe some will find it helpful.
I think tipping is a personal decision that people make based on the level of service they receive.
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