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Forget what etiquette dictates for a moment; I know you're not supposed to expect gifts. I also know that many of us DO expect them because we know we're expected to give them at other weddings. So, do you actually expect gifts, even if you would never, ever admit it aloud to any other person? Go on, share your dirty secrets with Auntie GreenEyedMoon.
EDIT: I'm not asking if it's about gifts or not, nor am I asking about your reasons for inviting the people you did. I'm asking if you objectively think you can expect to get at least one or two gifts at your own wedding.
Honestly, NO. We wanted to have a large wedding (300 people) so we could host a wonderful party with friends and family.
@lindsey_k_16: I'm not talking about your reasons for inviting people. We're inviting the people we are because we want them there to celebrate with us. I just also expect that most of them will bring a gift. That's an added bonus, but definitely not the reason.
No, it's not about gifts. We are having a wedding of only about 100ppl. So, we weren't worried about how much of anything we'd "get".
Yes. I would never go a wedding empty handed so I would expect that other people would act the same.
Does that mean I would flip out if someone came to my wedding and didn't give me a gift? No. I would probably just be confused by it.
Yes, I expect gifts. I don't expect them to be expensive or big, nor do I expect them from everyone who attends our wedding. But I anticipate that some of our guests are going to bring gifts. If we receive no gifts I will be surprised and probably sad.
Of course not! 
....Okay, maybe just a little bit. I wouldn't be angry if people don't give gifts, but I kinda feel like if my broke-ass self can cough up the money for everyone else's weddings......
Yes, I expected gifts (with a few noted exceptions). I know our family and friends and they are not the types to attend a wedding without card/cash/check in tow. I was surprised, both good and bad, by some people but it didn't make me feel any differently about them.
LOL @ Auntie greeneyedmoon
The answer is yes. If not my wedding, then when? My funeral (God forbid)?
Like I said, I'm not asking if it's about gifts or not. I'm asking if you objectively think you can expect to get at least one or two gifts at your own wedding.
Absolutely. I definitely expected gifts from each one of my guests, even if that gift was a card with something personal written in it.
@ Greeneyedmoon -
I bring a gift to every wedding also. I wasn't saying that you were inviting people to get gifts at all. My point is, we don't expect gifts. We decided we would much rather have everyone give up their time to come celebrate with us then get us a gift. Does that make more sense?
Yup, I have been to weddings on both sides of the families and I know what these people have done at those weddings, so I do expect to be treated about equally. The best predictor of the future is past behavior.
I'll fess up, I voted yes. But I think for me it's more that I know all of my guests well- I could tell you exactly who will give how much and who will give nothing. I would be hurt if the people I know will be generous suddenly weren't, because my family is super close and I know what they have given to me and to other family in the past. At the same time, I know that I have friends and family who aren't financially set enough to give a gift and I'm 100% okay with that. I expect nothing from them. I also have rich relatives who are just cheap and won't give me anything, haha... so they won't disappoint me, though it's irritating that they snub other family members to cut their own costs while still expecting lots of gifts, and then don't give gifts in return... oh, lovely family issues.
Yes, I expect gifts. I just cant imagine attending a wedding and not bringing something-even a card. Or at the very least, sending it a few weeks after the wedding.
We aren't having a wedding to get gifts. We're having a wedding to celebrate with family and friends. But I still feel like gifts are to be expected.
I think I ran around the question again... YES I do believe many people will bring gifts!!! Geez... I guess I should really really read before commenting.
I don't think that expecting gifts makes you selfish. I've posted before about my own gift faux-pas years ago, but I always gave something (even if it was at the shower alone). It was something I wanted to do, and that seems to be the general thing you do - at least bring a card.
Also, I have no problem admitting that I am looking forward to getting things off my registries. That's why the items are on there, because they're things we'd like to have.
But it wouldn't end a friendship if someone didn't bring or send a gift. I don't think I'd be upset. I'd at least like a card, because we're putting a lot of thought into our day and what to do for our family and friends, and it shows they were thinking of us too.
yes - you are expected to bring gifts to a wedding so i expected to get gifts at my wedding :)
@MissBoPeep: lol, yes! --> "but I kinda feel like if my broke-ass self can cough up the money for everyone else's weddings..."
I think most of us are fairly level-headed about it, then. Yes, we expect to receive gifts, but it won't be the end of the world if some people don't give them (though we'll be a little hurt/miffed if we don't receive anything at all). Cool. I'm glad to know that we all have terrible etiquette together, then! :-D
@GreenEyedMoon: We're not really expecting gifts; we're expecting everyone to just party their butts off! ;)
We didn't even bother registering so no, we're not expecting gifts.
Yes! I would be lying if I said anything else!
I was a bit disappointed when some people came empty handed and didn't even bother with a card and a message to us...
I absolutely expect to get gifts at the wedding. I wouldn't go to a wedding without a gift, and would be a little hurt/confused why they didn't bring one to ours. I can't be upset about people who traveled to be at our wedding though, as they're already forking over money just to be there to celebrate.
Yes, I expect gifts. We made our registries with only a few higher priced items, so it's not like we are expecting huge gifts, just something given back. I won't go empty handed to a wedding, and I feel that it's only fair to gift a bride and groom when they've put so much work and money into the wedding we were invited to, I mean, we are getting fed for free. So I would only expect the same from others. It's not the end of the world if we don't receive something from someone, but gifts aren't a bad thing ;) lol
I'm expecting gifts, as in, I'll be slightly surprised at the people who don't bring gifts.
But, I'm NOT expecting gifts as in, "You must bring a gift to gain entrance, or at least I'll be POed." I'll just assume that the people who didn't bring gifts don't know any better, or maybe forgot, or maybe it got lost in the mail.
I expected that my parents and my husbands parents would be hauling gifts out of our reception at the end of the night. And I was right.
I've been to 14 weddings now, and I've always given the couple a gift. So it's reasonable that I would anticipate receiving gifts at my own.
100% I'm expecting gifts- I think I'd be bummed if NO ONE brought any (based on who we're inviting) but I would be lying if I said I wasn't expecting them.
I agree with PP's who are saying that if you take a gift to every wedding you are probably going to expect that people do the same for you.
I voted no but that's because my fiance's side are travelling very far to make the wedding, spending money on flights etc. and I would defintely not expect them to fork out for gifts on top of that! But I suppose it would be expected from my side!
Short answer, yes. Longer answer...If I'm expected to bring one, then I expect the same of my guests. It's also very customary and would be considered quite ill mannered and frowned upon not to in my family/circle, and no one wants to "look bad" or "cheap" for not giving a gift. Of 150 guests, we did not recieve a gift from 2 groups.
Yes. I would never go a wedding empty handed so I expected that other people would act the same.
We didn't have a wedding to get gifts. We had a wedding to celebrate with family and friends. But I still felt like gifts are to be expected.
I was ABSOLUTELY expecting gifts. I give gifts generously at weddings, and my expectations were to receive gifts at my wedding.
I also expected that I would NOT receive gifts from everyone - and this did happen and I was disappointed by that fact. In addition, I was surprised by the generosity of some and the stinginess of others.
No I don't expect any gifts, partly because FI family is dirt broke, but also because we have already been living together for 3 years and the wedding is more of a formality then anything. A wedding is not about money and gifts it is about committing to the person you love and allowing your family that you love to be apart of it. Personally I think people throwing big weddings to get tons of gifts from people is completely trashy.
I have been to three weddings and never brought a gift, if you want me to attend your wedding I will gladly show up and support our committment but that is as far as it goes. We don't have much extra money to throw on gifts for people. The last wedding, my FI was one of the groomsmen, he paid for his tux, paid for being apart of the bachlor party, helped set up and attended the wedding and missed a day of work for it. That IMO is gift enough for the couple.
I expected them from our families, but not necessarily from our friends. Most of them were in our bridal party, so they had already contributed quite a bit :).
Yes, we did expect gifts, because we were told to expect them. I was very much against having a wedding at all, because of the financial cost to both DI and I and to my parents, but my parents insisted that we should do it (this is a direct quote) "because it's the only time in your life that people will basically throw money at you."
I told a few of my friends (who are mostly in their mid 20s, in debt, and underemployed, just like I am) that they shouldn't bring gifts, and they listened. But from those who can afford it, I think gifts are expected at almost any wedding.
At the wedding? No. Bridal shower? No. I know the way that this economy is and how everyone is struggling. My family is pretty much dirt broke as well and I know they're struggling with not being able to help contribute money towards wedding.
We're not expecting any gifts. I would be thrilled if we were given anything.
Honestly, I expect a congratulatory card. I think it totally depends on what stage you're at in your life. FI and I have been together 8 years, I am in my late 20's, he is in his mid 30's. So, IF we register, it will really just be for bonus items or to replace stuff we already have (which is all in good shape, really). We own a house. We have SO MUCH STUFF that we don't need gifts at the wedding. So, for me, no I do not expect gifts.
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