Post # 1
I saw a thread yesterday asking whether or not we liked our own friends. For me, that answer is pretty simple: if I didn’t like them, then they wouldn’t be my friends. I learned long ago to cut toxic people out of my life and not look back.
However, it can be a lot more complicated if you do not like your partner’s friends. Does anyone have experience with that, or did everyone merge together quite nicely? Do you usually socialize together or do you keep friends separate?
Post # 3
Since I moved to a new place and met DH pretty early on, his friends became my friends and their SO’s became my friends. So yeah, I like them! It is really, really hard ( in my experience) to make friends when you’re no longer in college and are meeting people in a professional setting. Add that on top of the fact that we live in a pretty insulated suburbian area– and yeah, no one wants to really befriend you. Unless they are inviting you to church, then you’re BFF’s :p
Post # 4
Most of his friends he made as an adult, I like. His childhood friends are a different story. There’s one in particular that he’s been friends with his entire life, but is really depressing, no motivation, still lives with mom (over 30), and who generally complains a lot. I’m not a fan, which is hard because that was a bone of contention between him and his ex, that she hated this friend too. I tried hard to like him at first, but I’m seeing the pattern. It’s not us, it’s him.
Post # 5
My fiance likes pretty much all of my friends from high school but doesn’t really keep in touch with any of his own friends. That being said, we have made a lot of friends as a couple, and of course I like them.
Post # 6
@MrsPanda99: our original group, where I met FH, I love those friends. His childhood friends, I tolerate. They’re generally nice guys but they can rub me the wrong way from time to time. He doesn’t like some of my friends from childhood (although he’s coming around).
I think as long as they can hang out together occasionally it’s fine.
Post # 7
@MrsPanda99: I need an “I like most” option.
Most of FI’s friends are my friends too (although more his than mine, because they’re guys). We all went to school together. But there’s one or two that I’m not a huge fan of. One because I’ve known him since middle school and I never really liked him very much. There are also things FI has told me about him over the years that have turned me off. But, he’s FI’s oldest friend, so I’m sorta stuck with him. And then another of his friends was sortof a jerk to me for a few years, but he’s recently turned around. So I’m just a bit cautious around him.
But for the most part, they’re all pretty great!
And I agree with you…if I didn’t like my friends, I wouldn’t be friends with them!
Post # 8
@MsGinkgo: I cannot even tolerate the childhood friends, lol.
Post # 9
I like his friends, some more than others, but all are at the very least tolerable.
His BM and I had a bit of a falling out 3 years ago, and didn’t speak for almost a year (I had no issue with my husband socializing with him one-on-one, but I had no interest in being around him after what had happened) but we got over it, moved on, and he really was an incredible BM at our wedding.
Post # 10
My husband’s friends are very well mannered, polite guys that drink occasionally (and only a few beers). In fact all of our guy friends are more the homebody type. My girl friends are the wild, party types, so it’s actually my husband that puts up with my friends.
Post # 11
Mr TTR & I met thru mutual friends… so there are certainly some I like very much.
In fact, I’d have to say both of us are very much social people… and except for a small group of GFs that I had prior to meeting him, and his Hockey Buddies… the majority of friends now are OUR FRIENDS…
In so much as everyone is in a HUGE circle in our community who know each other and socialize together (there is probably 50 of us in the pack, if we all got together at once)
“Our Gang” ranges in age from early 40s to mid 70s. There are singles, marrieds and folks who are dating / living together.
Most of us socialize as a group, but there are certainly times when there has been other occasions / one on one meet ups… or we perhaps choose to entertain one of the “single” members here at home (Dinner, Watch Tv, a Movie, etc)
BUT as I’ve said in previous WBee Posts, we have a clear set of boundaries, I don’t see any of the guys one-on-one without him, and he doesn’t see any of the ladies without me.
Works for us
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
@MrsPanda99: I love love love his friends. He’s had the same group of guys since middle school or earlier. They are super loyal to one another, all have matching tattoos, and always include us in every holiday and celebration. Now that I think of it… I pretty much love them more than my own friends lol. After 8 years of us being together, his friends are my friends now too though. This week we’re getting a 24 person party bus to take to medieval times because we are party nerds like that hahahaha
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
We have been pretty lucky, we both get along with each other’s friends! We both have a lot of childhood friends, he has a group of friends of like, 4-5 or so, that he’s been friends with since 7 or 8 or high school. He doesn’t have as many friends from college, but these guys are his “bests”. He is also pretty close with his brother (they are only 2 years apart) and his brother’s friends, who are also childhood friends. I like all of them, although there is one who makes some interesting choices haha. Ah, well. Overall I like him as my husband’s friend, but I am super glad I am not dating him….
I have a group of 5 girlfriends from childhood, and he likes all of them, and then there’s also a group of 6 girls (including me its 7) from college, and he likes all of them! He also likes my other two reallly close friends from college.
Even better, I get along really well with his friends’ SO’s, if they have one, and he gets along pretty well with MY friends’ SO’s! It makes hanging out in big groups really easy and fun 😀
Post # 14
My SO’s friends are cool but one of them is married to a girl I went to law school with and she has always rubbed me the wrong way. I’m civil to her but definitely not cordial.
Post # 15
Most of them, but there are a few I choose to stay home when he meets up with them. One is a severe alcoholic the other is a prescription drug addict. The rest are normal and pretty fun to hang with.
Post # 16
It has come to the point where our social circles (his consisting of mainly friends, mine consisting of a couple close girlfriends, my brother and cousins) have merged into one big group. His guy friends are half-single, half-married; the single ones love me because I have no problem with them coming over for a nice home-cooked meal and a card game. I get along with all the wives of the married ones and hang out with them every couple of weeks.
On a random weekend recently, I noticed my brother, my cousin, and my SO’s two best friends were all at our place playing poker. We do a lot of activities with a mish-mash of the two groups, and everyone usually ends up at our place for things like long weekend BBQs, Superbowl, NYE, etc.