Spinoff: Do you send invites to family/friends who you know are unable to attend

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I did! One of my friends really wanted one just to have as a keepsake. And I had ordered enough to do that, so I just mailed them one. You never know if something will change, either!

Post # 4
8513 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes I think you should still send one.  It is nice to know you are invited even if you cannot go.  Plus what if their plans fall through and they wish to attend?  I would like to send a gift if I couldn’t go, but I wouldn’t if you never sent me an invite.  How could I?

Post # 5
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Send the invite anyway. There are always those who will see this as a “gift grab” but an invite isn’t an invoice — it’s a way of saying “we want you to be at our event.” Which is a nice sentiment even when you know they can’t make it. And then they’ll RSVP no and probably write something sweet on the card about how sad they are that they won’t be able to make it, and everyone will feel all gooey inside and no one’s feelings were hurt. Plus, you never know when plans might change and they can make it after all!

Post # 6
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

In this case, I’ve sent invitations. I have family flung far and wide and I know many of them won’t be able to make it because of all the travel (especially since our wedding is on a Friday.) But I sent the invites anyway because I wanted to make sure that they knew that they WERE welcomed and wanted there, even if they couldn’t come. (And on the off chance that their schedule changed, they were of course welcome to come.)

Post # 7
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@codysgirl16:  I’m planning on sending an invite to my aunt and uncle who I already know can’t make it. I think it’s a nice gesture. I have had an internal debate over it, though, as the last thing I want is to come accross as gift-grabby!

Post # 8
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would still send the invite, even if you know they can’t make it.  You don’t want to perpetrate any hard feelings.  I think it’s worth the stamp.  I will be sending some out that I know are no’s.  Even though I know they aren’t coming, I don’t want them to think they weren’t “invited.”

Post # 9
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m having a destination wedding so a lot of people aren’t able to make it, especially our friends that have young children. We are giving them an invitation anyway just to be polite and let them know that they are still welcomed if they happen to change their mind. Our wedding is 9 months out so a lot can happen between now and then and people may end up wanting to go.

Post # 10
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@codysgirl16:  i would still send an invitation.  we did.  you never know, people’s plans change all of the time.  some may be able to attend. 

Post # 11
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If I was them, I would love to still be invited and see the invitation.  It’s nice to know I was thought of and included, and who knows maybe I’ll end up being able to come.

Post # 12
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’d send them invitations if they were family or really super close friends. These people would know that the invitations are a courtesy and not requests for them to send us gifts.

Post # 13
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Send it anyway. They might keep it as a keepsake. And…some people would conclude, “She doesn’t want me there! How rude!” even if they can’t make it.

Post # 14
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I sent invites and on the RSVP I wrote something about how Iknew that they couldn’t make it but wanted to send invite so they felt included.

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