(Closed) Spinoff – Do you tell your SO EVERYTHING?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you tell your SO everything?
    Yes. There is nothing I don''t share with him/her. If you tell one of us, both of us know. : (46 votes)
    57 %
    No. If I am told something in confidence, it stays between me and that person ONLY. : (7 votes)
    9 %
    Sometimes, There are some things I am comfortable telling him, but others are too private to share. : (15 votes)
    19 %
    Maybe. I usually tell, but I won't if I am specifically asked not to. : (12 votes)
    15 %
    Other (please explain). : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Yes I tell him everything unless specifically asked not to.

    Post # 4
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I feel like I can tell him everything. But I’m thinking that maybe there might be some hypothetical situation in which I’d have to keep a secret. It could happen! I vote “other.”

    Post # 5
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I guess I’m one of those people who feel it “doesn’t count” to tell my Fiance, but I didn’t do that until after a few years of dating. I wouldn’t tell a boyfriend really personal stuff someone else told me. If someone asked me specifically not to tell Fiance, I wouldn’t as long as it didn’t affect us or anything.

    Post # 6
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Um… I would never lie to him. But if he doesn’t NEED to know something, and someone has told me in confidence, I don’t see why I would break their trust. Also– he doesn’t really care about my friends’ personal lives anyways. 🙂

    Post # 7
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It is hard to answer because the question is so general.  Do I tell him everything?  YES.  However, if something was very personal to someone that confided in me, probably not.  But I never lie and I am always open about things.  I just choose not to bring things up that are private to others, for the most part.

    Post # 8
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @PitBulLover:  Exactly.  If someone specifically asks me to keep something from him I won’t tell him, but if you just tell me it’s a secret, I’ll usually tell him. 

    Post # 9
    4653 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I tell Fiance EVERYTHING Unless a friend told me not to tell him… But we also have a full disclosure policy I was at a bar and one of HIS friends tried to kiss me knowing that i was engaged to Fiance…. As soon as i got home (FI wasnt at the bar with me) I told him… The way I look at it if I would want Fi to tell me then I tell him!

    Post # 10
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I tell Darling Husband everything unless I am specifically told something in confidence. My friends pretty much assume that I tell Darling Husband everything, not to mention he and I share a lot of the same friends so occasionally they’ll talk about super personal stuff in front of him anyway, lol.

    Post # 11
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I tell him everything, very little exceptions. If someone asks me not to tell him, I wouldn’t. But so far that hasn’t happened. My girlfriends and I have an understanding that if we tell each other something, the SO’s will find out. 

    Post # 12
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Darling Husband and I are both the friends that everyone tells everything to. At times it can be stressful when holding so many sercrets of other people. I technically took an oath (psych degree) and it makes it easier to keep everyone’s secrets. However, he used to tell me everything until this happened:

    We have friends who are engaged. They were DH’s friends first. The male in the relationship told Darling Husband that he was cheating. Darling Husband told me this and I kept it to myself. Well then a week later Darling Husband then tells me that our male friend is cheating with a woman that we all know. I kept it to myself. Then a couple weeks later the Bride announces her wedding party and her Maid/Matron of Honor is the women in which her fiance has cheated on her with. This ate at me so badly, that I have now distanced myself from them both. It also made me made at Darling Husband that he would be friends with someone like this. So then I just asked him to stop telling me things and now we keep it to ourselves.

    Post # 13
    7174 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    No way – I don’t share my friend’s personal stuff with him, unless it involves him directly.  It isn’t hard and fast – but I don’t go running off to him as a gossip outlet.  I’m sure I’ve told him info in conversation about my day, etc. but I try to make an effort to keep relationships separate (much like if I was talking to another friend – I’m not about to go share another friend’s info with them).

    I’m one of the last of my friend’s to get married and I really appreciated those friends who did that (didn’t share) my issues that they were privy to.  I wouldn’t feel the need to add the disclaimer (please don’t share this with your husband) – that seems so silly to me.

    I’m also super sensitive about information certain friends share about me to other mutual friends – perhaps that’s why I’m so careful about it with Darling Husband.  My friend’s issues are really none of his business!

    Post # 14
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think that telling Fiance doesn’t count. He’s my Fiance, we’ve been dating for 3.5 years, living together for 3 of those years. When we first started dating, no, I didn’t tell him everything, but it wasn’t like I was keeping anything from him. I just didn’t think he’d be interested in my friends drama. Now that we’ve started to build a life together, if you tell me, you tell him. And I agree with PP that if someone were to specifically ask me NOT to tell him, I would just ask them not to tell me, I don’t want to have to keep anything from him, it would just feel weird. (Unless it was a present I was planning on buying him, or pictures of me in my dress before the big day! Those are the only exceptions!!)

    Post # 15
    4038 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    For the most part I tell him everything. Our friends (and they are overwhelmingly mutual) understand that, and if it’s something they really really don’t want one of us to know about, they’ll say it.


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