Spinoff: Do you think your SO feels guilty about his sex life before you?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Would you guess your SO regrets his sex life before you?
    Yes- and I asked him/he's mentioned it : (18 votes)
    10 %
    No- and I asked him/he's mentioned it : (57 votes)
    32 %
    Yes- and I'm guessing : (5 votes)
    3 %
    No- and I'm guessing : (100 votes)
    56 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @PromiseRooster:  you should add in “he didn’t have a sex life before me” since there was an option like that in the last poll!

    Post # 4
    Member
    689 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

    @PromiseRooster:  I know he does. We met through a mutual friend, and he discussed with her that he was afraid I wouldn’t want to be with him in any serious way because of it (among other things). 

    I am a pretty realistic individual, and I figured out that being single in the military for 5 years…he probably wasn’t exactly chaste. If I REALLY think about it, it bothers me a little I guess, but on a rational level, I couldn’t care less. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    442 posts
    Helper bee

    Haha nope! The little of it there was, I know he enjoyed for the most part. He did turn down a girl who was interested when we were “talking” long distance but weren’t exclusive – if he had slept with her I think he would have felt guilty about it. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Hm. I certainly don’t think he regrets having another partner. We met when he was 26, so that would be a bit old. The ex does, however, sound like an overly needy and insecure woman, and we both have said he dodged a bullet with her. I could see him saying he regrets the relationship, but he wouldn’t feel guilty that he had a sex life before me.

    Post # 9
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I don’t really understand these threads.  I don’t think its very healthy to feel guilty about sex, it’s not like you can take it back.  So we both had sex before we met eachother. So what? I don’t really get why it matters.  It’s not like I’m having sex with other people now.  Then I would understand guilt.  But as for the sex we had before we were together, neither of us feel guilt. And we shouldn’t.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @pineapplez17:  Not to thread jack but don’t you love that?! Nothing makes me smile more than knowing DH has only kissed me 🙂

    After our first night making out he said, “kissing is probably my favorite thing!” and after our first real kiss (our first kiss was an awkward peck) he said, “Do you know how soft your lips are?” lol he is super darling 🙂 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    Definitely not ! My SO doesn’t like to talk about his previous relationship and sex (I’ve been asking him, out of genuine curiosity as I feel we don’t really have any taboo when it comes to discussing), but his answers are limited and he doesn’t like to think about that. Not because he is ashamed (he shouldn’t, his previous sex life has made him the amazing lover he is to me today !!), but because I think he prefers to live in the present, and to him his previous sex life is over, and it’s not worth thinking about it anymore.

    Post # 12
    Member
    795 posts
    Busy bee

    @PromiseRooster:  Lol, yup, he feels a bit like a man-whore! He went through a divorce, and for the first time in his life, he decided to be a bad boy. He was sleeping with a couple different people at the same time, one knew about the other, and one did not. It went on for a few weeks, then guilt set in and he stopped seeing both women. I know it’s not the “moral’ thing, but I’m honestly glad he sewed all his wild oats before we met. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    7397 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @PromiseRooster:  I think in a lot of cases someone in a relationship only feels guilty about their past sex life because they are made to feel that way by their current partner.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2057 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

    FI was a virgin when he met me. 🙂 He’s told me that he was quite disgusted by his high school girlfriend’s bush and that she was clingy and insecure. So, I voted No — I’m guessing.

    Long story short, his high school girlfriend cheated on him with FI’s eldest brother. FI caught them in the act. He probably dodged a tough bullet.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @PromiseRooster:  Of course not. It would be silly to regret something like that for either of us.

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