Spinoff- does your family or your so's family keep in touch with your exes

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ap2010:  I am still in contact with my ex’s mother. His Dad passed away.

She is a lovely woman,has been nothing but supportive to me, and she is still my children’s grandmother.

I think it’s different when you have children.

Post # 5
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

What is this a spinoff from?

Post # 6
Member
11 posts
Newbee

No, my family is not in contact with mine and thank goodness his are not in contact with his exes. His brother and SIL are FB friends with one of his exes but they don’t communicate.

i think that would make me a little uncomfortable.

Post # 7
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@Ap2010:  My FI keeps in touch with his ex-gf from college and her parents. At first it was a little weird for me since I cut all ties with exes, but I trust him completely, he’s never given me a reason not to, so if he says she’s a friend more than anything… that’s cool I guess. 

Post # 8
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Nope. I never had a serious relationship until FI, and his parents disliked his most significant exgf

Post # 9
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Ap2010:  My FMIL is facebook friends with my SO’s ex. She comments on her things from time to time. It really bothered me at first, but I’m a tiny bit okay with it now. I think my big problem is not her being in touch, because I get that they dated for 2 years so she was around a lot, but it feels like a betrayl to my SO because his ex cheated on him. I’m pretty sure my parents would be livid if my SO cheated on me and would cut him out, not cheerily comment on his facebook. Oh well, some things I just have to live with.

Post # 10
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Ap2010:  Not anymore, but my family took my first serious boyfriend out to dinner while he was home on leave from Iraq not long after we broke up.

 

I didn’t find out till later (I lived in another state) and it hurt my feelings terribly at the time, but in retrospect it was a thoughtful gesture to a young man they’d been close to for many years, and pretty much everything was hurtful to me at that particular moment in time. His dad also took me out to lunch while in my town on business not long after the breakup, so it was pretty even.

 

It’s been a decade and he and I are now the most casual of facebook friends and our families have had no contact in a long time.

 

I am still extremely close with a more recent ex’s best friend. She and I became close friends during the years he and I dated, and we weren’t going to drop each other just because the romance didn’t work out. He threw a hissy fit about it at the time, but has since resigned himself. His family also invited me out to dinner while visiting our area after the breakup and it was a pleasant time, and I contacted them on his behalf when he had a medical emergency once, but we aren’t close by any means.

 

My fiance didn’t have any relationships serious enough for his family to be close to his partner before me. If he had, I wouldn’t care if they kept contact. I think as long as a breakup isn’t the result of horrific betrayal, and most aren’t, civility between all parties is a good thing. My FSIL is on such good terms with her ex husband that she takes care of his condo while he’s deployed, and he’s let us stay there while visiting the area. So I don’t think it always has to be a total severance of contact to be okay.

 

Post # 11
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I am not in contact with most of my exes or their families, but I wouldn’t rule it out. Even the arsey ones have undoubtably grown up and moved on by now, so maybe we could be friends, like mature adults.

DH is still good friends with his most significant ex and her family. She’s a very nice person and was a guest at our wedding. I like her very much, but I can see why they broke up… totally unsuitable for each other, IMO.

We’re all adults here, we get along with a wide variety of other people to the best of our abilities, we have a 100% disclosure policy, and we trust each other. It’s honestly that simple!

Post # 12
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Not at all. My parents were never that close to my old boyfriends and FI’s family doesn’t keep in contact with any either. FI and I also don’t keep in contact with anyone we use to date or their family. They are an ex for a reason so why keep that around? I get it if you have an ex husband/wife and you share kids, but other than that what’s the point. 

 

 

Post # 13
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My ex and his wife (an ex friend of mine) used to keep in touch.  It was kind of like he wished they were his in-laws instead of the monster in law he got.  At some point a few years ago my mom finally had to tell him that they’re not his in laws and he needed to go off and live his own life because I wasn’t coming home (even after he got married to someone else, it always felt like he was waiting around for me).

My mom sees his wife at the grocery where she works occasionally and she always catches up a little, but that’s about it.

Doesn’t bother me at all.

Post # 14
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@Ap2010:  I have my ex-FIs cousins on my FB, but I don’t “keep in contact” as such.

But my SO is still in contact with his exs sister (her hubby and their son), his ex parent-in-laws and some of the connected friends. I used toto find it a bit strange, but it doesn’t bother me now

Post # 15
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@Ap2010:  Not at all. I don’t talk to any of my ex’s or their families, but they are all nice people.

EXCEPT my nne ex has daddy issues and found a friend/dad in my uncle. They’re like soul twins, They’re from the same small, poor, farming community and it was literally love at first sight. They infuriate their wives and husbands by being inseparable and acting badly together. So incredibly strange. But I guess good for them?

Post # 16
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Nope! My parents hate my first serious bf, my siblings are under 13 so no exes for them lol & as far as I know dhs parents don’t talk to his exes. Closest was dhs mom talking about his crazy ex who had a pregnany scare & had a crush on his step dad. ETA: I don’t keep in touch with my exes family either, since I either never met them or just barely talked to them. 

 

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