Spinoff- Facebook friends. How do you determine who you keep on your list

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

When a person asks me to become friends over Facebook, I usually decline unless they’re people I want to stay in touch with or used to be friends/friendly coworker but haven’t seen in a while. When I add them to my list, I immediately go say hi, and ask for news about that person.

It has happened more than once than the person who added me, not only never wrote back, but didn’t even do something minimal like, say happy birthday. If they do that, they’re out. Obviously, if they can manage to spend a whole year without ever talking to me or show interest, then I don’t feel the need to let them access my Facebook profile. It’s almost creepy, as if they were only there to spy on me or something. So, most people I get ‘rid’ of are people who ask, but don’t act like they care.

Other people I take out of my friends’ list is people who complain contanstly, or brag/humble brag constantly, or over-share details about their personal life and especially, their kid’s. I can’t stand those people. 

If I met FI’s friends and they became friends to me as well, I would add them, no problem. I never add people I don’t know in real life and get along well in real life. 

Post # 4
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Ap2010:  I don’t use my facebook anymore, but when I did, I just added people whose updates I actually cared about. I wouldn’t add someone I hadn’t spoken to in years or was mutual friends with someone important in my life.

Post # 5
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I am Facebook friends with my real friends.

If you woulnt say hi to me in the grocery store, we’re not Facebook friends.

If you know FI’s sister’s aunt, we’re not Facebook friends.

If we met once at a BBQ, we’re not Facebook friends.

Post # 6
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@NauticalDisaster:  Other people I take out of my friends’ list is people who complain contanstly, or brag/humble brag constantly, or over-share details about their personal life and especially, their kid’s. I can’t stand those people.

+10000. I don’t think social media should be an outlet. Also, when people over share concerning small children…The internet isn’t going away, and those kids will be teenagers someday, and chances are they will dig around and find out what you’re posting. 

Post # 7
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I have a small list of about 50 friends on facebook.  People that don’t annoy me or post stupid stuff….mostly the people I ACTUALLY am friends with in real life

I don’t keep family on there.  I don’t like family on facebook. 

Post # 8
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I only have like 70 friends so I’ve never bothered to delete anyone. There are definitely people I never talk to anymore but it’s not bothering me to have them as friends so I just leave it. 

Post # 9
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Eh, I’ve pretty much keep everyone on my friend list.  That being said, I don’t use Facebook very often, so there’s not much of a chance of oversharing.   I’ve blocked seeing updates from a bunch of people who regularly post very mysoginistic or TMI updates. 

Post # 10
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i know every single on of my facebook friends in  real life. 

i have some kind of outside of facebook contact with them, even if only once a year or every few years.

 

Post # 11
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I treat my facebook like it’s Twitter, except I can have statuses longer than 140 characters and more of my friends/family will actually see it. So I post a lot, mostly jokes, and I don’t spend much time reading what others have written. So I don’t really care how many friends I have/who they are. The more the merrier! I only refuse requests from people I straight-up don’t know at all, or people who are legit creepy/inappropriate.

It takes a lot for me to delete someone, but usually it’s for constantly commenting on my stuff with a bunch of really weird shit. Because I can’t just hide/ignore that.

Post # 12
Member
536 posts
Busy bee

I recently went through and deleted a bunch of people.  I looked at their name and picture, and if I couldn’t remember how I knew them or where I knew them from, I deleted them.  I’ve been on Facebook since 2004, so I had a LOT of randomers on my friend list.

Post # 13
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My “Friends” list includes family and friends. They don’t have to be really close friends, but if I don’t know any of their interests, they’re out.

I’ve lived in multiple countries and have friends who live all over the world. Facebook is a really easy way to keep in touch with people who I simply cannot call on the phone or stop by for a cup of coffee. I do have periodic “spring cleaning” where I downsize my list. If I haven’t spoken to the person in a year, I don’t keep them on my list because clearly, it’s not that essential that we have each other’s contact information.

Post # 14
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have about 100 friends, but at one point I had about 300.  I’ve scaled it down to some family (but definitely not all), some friends, and some people whom I’ve connected with online.  Sad to say, I have a few friends who I also keep on my list who have died, but their facebook page still exists. 

Also, I have to add that I’m not shy about deleting people if they’re being super argumentative, overly religous and the like.  I’ve deleted both family and friends for bad behavior.  I don’t have time for drama.

ETA:  I keep my FB profile locked down as tightly as possible.  I don’t use my last name and for those people not on my list who look me up, about the only thing they can find out about me is that I love cats.  I do not post my personal “people” photos for the public profile.

 

Post # 15
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I used to be that overly annoying person who had over 1,000 people as friends, but it started to get that I HATED logging onto Facebook and would miss updates from friends and family as they were lost in the crowd of other updates, photos, etc. Part of my New Years resolution was to go through and clean house. I started deleting people like crazy and now I’m much happier about my tiny Facebook list. 

For SO’s of friends, it really depends. One of my best friends is dating a guy I don’t really like. He and I are polar opposite in regards to politics, so for a while, I would log on and see his utterly terrible statuses, his declarations that honestly made me feel like I was reading something from a madman, before I decided enough was enough and I deleted him. It caused some friction between my friend, but at the end of the day, NOT seeing his pro-gun, pro-life, anti-Obama rants all over my Facebook has helped my stress level decrease. Additionally, I deleted one of SO’s brothers for the same reason, only he would not stop commenting insulting things on my Facebook. Like, I met this man ONCE and he feels as if he can talk to me like that? No thank you.

Lastly, if you overshare, liveblog your birth, your breakups, your makeups, give me an uncessesary itinerary of your day, etc., I will delete you. 

I no longer want a bunch of strangers staring back at me, but would rather like people who share my same interests and whose company I generally enjoy.

Post # 16
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Well, I currently have…36 Facebook friends. About half are family members and their spouses (cousins, in-laws, etc.). Several are online friends; sometimes we talk a lot, sometimes we go months without talking. I have a few old acquaintances and friends from high school on my list.

To be honest, the ones I regret accepting the most are in-laws (sisters-in-law, mother-in-law, primarily). Most of them are OK; but for the most part, they annoy me or I dislike them, and even though I block their updates, going to mutual friends’ or family members’ pages pisses me off because I wind up seeing them. I say that mostly in relation to my brother’s wife, who has no qualms about being an uptight, firecracker-temper nutbag.

She’s one of those types who’s a complete bitch, but manages to suck up to you whenever she’s sending out one of her numerous “donate/come to (x) breast cancer charity” events/fundraisers/etc. Then complains later on about how no one’s coming to them. She also plasters them all over Facebook.

I’d really love to sever that connection – keep in mind, though, that I don’t post anything remotely personal on FB – and just see her/converse with her when I have to on holidays. But…it’s not worth the residual fallout.

I have a feeling she’d keep me from seeing my nephew if I did that. The real-life consequences are too much, so I roll my eyes and keep silent with her.

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