Post # 1
I come from a small family immediate family (parents, brother+fam and myself) and I’ve always wanted a large family. While I like my family size now, I had a lonely childhood. Until recently, I really wanted five or six kids. As I get older, I’ve realized that having so many kids would make it hard for me to give proper attention and resources to each, so I’ve settled on 3-4, spaced 4-5 years apart, as a compromise between my desire for a big family and my desire to give each kid the attention he/she deserves.
My ex-BF on the other hand, was one of eight and from an extremely poor family and there was never enough money to go around. He already had one and was unsure that he would ever want even a second, because he wanted to give his child better than what he had. It was actually one of the major reasons I never really considered a long-term future with him.
What has been your experience.
Post # 3
I grew up with only one sibling, but we were super close to all my cousins growing up so it was more sibling like than cousins, and there were 6 cousins. I want a big ish family but I also don’t want to field my own football team from my kids. I can’t imagine just having one kid though, especially since tragically as we got older, both my sister and cousins have spread across the country so my kids will not likely have the same closeness I did with cousins.
Post # 4
I think that grew-up with a median sized family. I am one of 4 daughters, I had both my parents to. So we had a household of six people not to mention that from time to time some of my Mom’s siblings and their kids would stay with us too.
I only have 2 kids I really wish I could of had at least one more, but due to medical reasons our family is going to stay at 2 kids.
I love the fact that I grew up in a median sized family.
Post # 5
I was the oldest of 7 and we plan to have 4 kids ourselves, spaced close together. I guess some might consider 4 a bog family, but to me, it is medium sized.
It did affect me, I think, because I was 15 when the youngest was born and I was always very resentful of the little kids. I was constantly on babysitting duty and was never allowed to do normal teenager things. We never went on family vacations or anything because we didn’t have the money and because there was never any options that were age appropriate for everyone. Also, my dad withdrew from the family when I was about 12 or 13 and my mom didn’t have any parenting support from him for several years. As a result, we older kids were completely ignored unless a chore needed doing. I was never able to turn to my parents when I needed love and support because they just assumed we older kids could take care of ourselves and it was the younger kids who got all the attention.
I think some parents do very well with big families and I’ve met quite a few of those where all the kids are happy and well-adjusted and the parents equally share the parenting responsibilities and make sure the kids all get attention. But my parents were not good at it and I know I would not be good at it, either.
Post # 6
i am one of two kids, i want two kids. my FI is also one of two kids. my parents are both the youngest of four, my FI’s dad is one of seven, and FI’s mum is one of five. but FI and I both want two kids
Post # 7
i grew up one of five sibling and my mom also did daycare at home.
so…. our house was always full of kids and always loud. my friends always felt comfortable there and able to be themselves. i really noticed when i was at an only child’s house or just a smaller family. it was always so quiet there and i always felt like i had to whisper… i just never felt comfortable.
so i want a large family and i want the same feeling in my home that i had growing up. comfortable and full of love…. like the weasley family….
Post # 8
Edelweiss Your situation is the reason I am now against having a large family and why I want to space liberally. I think I had an overly idyllic view of big families and since I am used to having my own space/time to myself, I don’t think I’d be a very good mama to 5 or more kiddos. Plus, as an adult, I really appreciate the extremely close relationship I have with my parents, which probably wouldn’t have happened if I have many siblings.
Post # 9
I had one child, and because I became a single mom, on Social Assistance working part time, and didn’t have another relationship, I didn’t have a chance to have another. My mom comes from a big family, 13 brothers and sisters. I wanted to have one of each, a boy and a girl. Oh well, my one son was enough for me!
Post # 10
I am the oldest of 3 girls, but was raised as a single child (when my parents split, my Mum never fought for custody; my sisters lived with her). Since about the age of 5, I’ve known I wanted 2 children (both girls, but would be happy either way), and luckily FI is set on 2 children, as well. He’s the oldest of 4 boys.