(Closed) Spinoff: Have you ever attended a wedding and not given a gift or card?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Have you ever attended a wedding and not given a gift or card?
    Yes, they shouldn't expect a gift just because they are getting married : (30 votes)
    12 %
    No, I would never attend a wedding without a card/gift. How rude! : (194 votes)
    76 %
    We don't give gifts where I'm from : (0 votes)
    Other (please state) : (32 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee

    Oh wow, I would never.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8153 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I probably did when I was younger, but I’m sure my parents always gave a generous gift and stuck my name on it too lol. But nowdays I would never show up without a card and some cash at least.

    Post # 5
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think I did when I was younger and just ignorant of etiquette. I’m not even positive that I did. However after trying to plan this stupid wedding I see that weddings are expensive!!! some of the gifts I have given, I feel like they were stupid and embarrassing (considering how much those people spent on me). 

    Funny note. My friends got married last year and I got them a (small) gift but forgot to get it to them. Now it’s a year later and every time I see them I think of the present in my closet. I think whenever I finally get it to them I’ll include a gift card or some money because I feel bad about my crap gift taking a year (or two) to get to them.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4715 posts
    Honey bee

    Nope. Not that I know of, at least. I’m sure my mom remembered to bring a card and a little cash to every wedding we went to when I was a kid. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I might have the gift shipped to them directly, and not bring a big box with me… but yeah I don’t get showing up empty handed. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would never not bring a gift, even a card with no money in it seems wrong to me…even if you can just afford a tiny inexpensive thing, I agree…you bring wine or flowers when somebody throws a dinner party, you bring a gift to a wedding. Even if it’s just a $5 wooden spoon or something, lol. I’ve only been to one wedding since no longer being considered a part of my parents’ invite, and was fresh out of college with only a part time job…and I still ordered a decent gift off the registry. People only get married once (or twice, lol), it’s not like a gift you have to give them every single year, it’s a one time thing, lol.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1281 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’ve always given a gift and a card but apparently I made a faux-pas 3 years ago.

    FI (then BF) and I went to a wedding of a friend of mine and I wrote her and her husband a check for $50.  We weren’t exactly doing well financially and honest to God, it was the first wedding I had ever attended.  

    The bride was very insulted it was only $50 (I heard through word of mouth) and FI even kind of scolded me, “I thought you wrote the check for $100?  I would have given you cash for the other $50”.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee

    I donated to a honeymoon fund and STILL took a handmade gift because i didn’t want to turn up empty handed!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i did once many years ago, but there were a lot of reasons for it: mainly i was broke and the wedding was really far, meaning lots of gas money and a hotel room.

    the biggest reason was the bride’s behavior before the wedding… she had an unexplained dislike of me. she was marrying my friend and he wanted me to do a reading in the ceremony. she told him she would ask me, but never did. she just told him a couple days later i said no. this came out a week before the wedding and while i decided not to say anything, i felt pretty offended that she made me seem that selfish that i would refuse to read at the wedding of someone who had been a 2nd brother to me.

    i did buy a card that i forgot at home and then never mailed… oops

    if that were to happen now i would have been the bigger person and just given a small monetary gift. but alas 22 year old me was not so gracious!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee

    @rubybride718:  ONLY $50? Jeez, in my circle that would be really generous – even from a couple!

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I didn’t until I was finished with college. It was a combination of being completely broke (working all night to pay tuition) and not knowing how much weddings cost. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Even if the invitation states “No Gifts, Please”, we bring a gift…my mother would roll in her grave if I ever went to a celebration of ANY occaision, let alone a wedding, and not give a gift… but then my family always brings something to a party, whether they should or not, just the way we roll…

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @rubybride718:  I feel this way about a wedding I went to and gave $40. I was a single mom, and it was really probably more than I could afford. But now that I see how generous people can be at weddings, I feel like I was a cheapskate! Luckily the bride wasn’t tacky enough to complain (as far as I know, at least!).

    I also went to a wedding in HS with only a card. It was for my (then) BF’s step sister who he wasn’t close to. He wasn’t planning to bring anything, but I insisted on at least stopping for a card on the way. I feel kind of bad that we didn’t get anything, but it was really his responsibility to handle that, so, oh well.

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Have you ever attended a wedding and not given a gift or card?’ is closed to new replies.

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