Post # 1
And if not why not? It seems a lot of people on these boards think it’s pretty normal not to bring a gift or card to a wedding. That you should be grateful people attended and not need, want or expect gifts. This absolutely blows my mind.
Times are tough for many, I get that but it costs nothing to make a little card and send your best wishes and congratulations.
I think its common courtesy to bring a bottle of wine when someone invites you over for dinner, a card or gift when you attend someones birthday, some flowers if someone has a baby or is sick in hospital. Why would anyone think it’s acceptable to attend a wedding, a day that probably cost a lot of time, effort not to mention money, and not bring a little congratulatory gift or card?
What is the deal, why don’t I get it?
Post # 4
I probably did when I was younger, but I’m sure my parents always gave a generous gift and stuck my name on it too lol. But nowdays I would never show up without a card and some cash at least.
Post # 5
I think I did when I was younger and just ignorant of etiquette. I’m not even positive that I did. However after trying to plan this stupid wedding I see that weddings are expensive!!! some of the gifts I have given, I feel like they were stupid and embarrassing (considering how much those people spent on me).
Funny note. My friends got married last year and I got them a (small) gift but forgot to get it to them. Now it’s a year later and every time I see them I think of the present in my closet. I think whenever I finally get it to them I’ll include a gift card or some money because I feel bad about my crap gift taking a year (or two) to get to them.
Post # 6
Nope. Not that I know of, at least. I’m sure my mom remembered to bring a card and a little cash to every wedding we went to when I was a kid.
Post # 7
I might have the gift shipped to them directly, and not bring a big box with me… but yeah I don’t get showing up empty handed.
Post # 8
I would never not bring a gift, even a card with no money in it seems wrong to me…even if you can just afford a tiny inexpensive thing, I agree…you bring wine or flowers when somebody throws a dinner party, you bring a gift to a wedding. Even if it’s just a $5 wooden spoon or something, lol. I’ve only been to one wedding since no longer being considered a part of my parents’ invite, and was fresh out of college with only a part time job…and I still ordered a decent gift off the registry. People only get married once (or twice, lol), it’s not like a gift you have to give them every single year, it’s a one time thing, lol.
Post # 9
I’ve always given a gift and a card but apparently I made a faux-pas 3 years ago.
FI (then BF) and I went to a wedding of a friend of mine and I wrote her and her husband a check for $50. We weren’t exactly doing well financially and honest to God, it was the first wedding I had ever attended.
The bride was very insulted it was only $50 (I heard through word of mouth) and FI even kind of scolded me, “I thought you wrote the check for $100? I would have given you cash for the other $50”.
Post # 10
I donated to a honeymoon fund and STILL took a handmade gift because i didn’t want to turn up empty handed!
Post # 11
i did once many years ago, but there were a lot of reasons for it: mainly i was broke and the wedding was really far, meaning lots of gas money and a hotel room.
the biggest reason was the bride’s behavior before the wedding… she had an unexplained dislike of me. she was marrying my friend and he wanted me to do a reading in the ceremony. she told him she would ask me, but never did. she just told him a couple days later i said no. this came out a week before the wedding and while i decided not to say anything, i felt pretty offended that she made me seem that selfish that i would refuse to read at the wedding of someone who had been a 2nd brother to me.
i did buy a card that i forgot at home and then never mailed… oops
if that were to happen now i would have been the bigger person and just given a small monetary gift. but alas 22 year old me was not so gracious!
Post # 12
@rubybride718: ONLY $50? Jeez, in my circle that would be really generous – even from a couple!
Post # 13
I didn’t until I was finished with college. It was a combination of being completely broke (working all night to pay tuition) and not knowing how much weddings cost.
Post # 14
Even if the invitation states “No Gifts, Please”, we bring a gift…my mother would roll in her grave if I ever went to a celebration of ANY occaision, let alone a wedding, and not give a gift… but then my family always brings something to a party, whether they should or not, just the way we roll…
Post # 15
@lookingglass: Hahaha, I know! Shame on me!
Post # 16
@rubybride718: I feel this way about a wedding I went to and gave $40. I was a single mom, and it was really probably more than I could afford. But now that I see how generous people can be at weddings, I feel like I was a cheapskate! Luckily the bride wasn’t tacky enough to complain (as far as I know, at least!).
I also went to a wedding in HS with only a card. It was for my (then) BF’s step sister who he wasn’t close to. He wasn’t planning to bring anything, but I insisted on at least stopping for a card on the way. I feel kind of bad that we didn’t get anything, but it was really his responsibility to handle that, so, oh well.