Post # 1
So I’m going to say something else to add to the ring jealousy conversations floating around tonight.
I actually posted about feeling very jealous about my FSIL under ‘waiting’. She did have a beautiful, wonderful ring, that she wouldn’t shut up about, and had NO PROBLEM telling everyone it was a 10000.00 ring (um, who does that?)
It is a beautiful ring and I told her that I thought so. However, it was hard to not feel a little jealous of this situation……and I felt as though she was flaunting it and it frustrated me.
This is also why I posted on the other blog about people probably being jealous….again, not EVERYONE…but I was jealous at one point, so it’s easy to think that other people might be too.
Its not that I felt she didn’t deserve the ring for her age, or it wasn’t money well spent. I really wanted to marry my SO (could care less about the type of ring and a fancy wedding) Just got under my skin, that’s all.
Am I alone on this? Does no one ever get jealous? I’ve been working through it just looking for perspective.
Post # 3
I am jealous of about three peoples’ rings in the entire world. One of them is my boss. Her ring is actually smaller caratwise than mine, but is so intricate and looks perfect on her hand. The other two are bees, but I am not telling who!
Post # 4
I generally don’t get jealous. I take a to each their own approach. If someone flaunted a ring at me, I’d roll my eyes — How petty. I get jealous over experiences, thngs that not everyone can have. Everyone can get a ring, but not everyone can have a one-on-one with a favorite actor/ess or see a play somewhere I am unable to get, or go see places I want to go.
Post # 5
Unless Blake Lively’s ring counts, no. I don’t really have too many girl friends, and all of my female relatives are either significantly older or significantly younger than me, so there was really no one to be jealous of in the first place.
Post # 6
@EffieTrinket: Thanks Effie, it’s not like I hate this person or anything…but I’m glad find out I’m not a lone bee on being a (little) jealous even if it’s not right.
@Hyperventilate: That’s a good point too….FSIL really did have it all in every interaction that I was with her….center of attention, my SO’s family catered to her and I felt left out and like they could care less about meeting me (fueling my jealousy/resentment I suppose)
Post # 7
Hmm, well I used to-ALL THE TIME, before I got my own. Literally thought I’d feel jealous of other rings my whole life. Then I got engaged and haven’t been jealous of another ring since- but we’d also saved up for a while so I could get exactly what I wanted
Post # 8
I totally get jealous but then again not everyone has that kind of money and I wouldn’t want someone else’s career or life. When I think about that then I return to normal again.
Post # 9
I’ve been jealous of rings before. I’m not mean about it, and it’s not a negative feeling. Right now we are in a pretty good place financially, but when we got engaged we were struggling pretty bad. FI bought his brother’s wife’s ring since they had recently upgraded. It cost him very little. It’s white gold and not exactly my style. I would want something different if I had a choice, but I LOVE my ring because my sweet FI proposed to me with it. Most people tell me my ring is gorgeous. The hardest part is when FSIL says things like “it looks bigger on you because you have smaller hands”…making me feel like it’s too small (not that I ever really cared about the size). She just gives me a complex.
Post # 10
I totally have feelings of jealousy.
But, that does not mean I would trade my rings 🙂
Post # 11
I pretty much don’t care. I like what I like and whlie I might think others are pretty, I don’t wish for them. Its the same way I feel about mansions in architectural magazines– nice to look at, but I would never want one.
I will starting thinking less than charitable things if someone is flaunting it in some attempt to incite jealousy. But not because I want the ring, more because I dislike their attitude. We’re so much more than the stats of our material objects, so if thats the most important thing to someone, or they’re constantly harping on it, then I’m probably not friends with them in the first place.
Post # 12
Not a ring, but I’ve envied tons of other things about people.
I think envy can usually be helpful, at least in the long run. If you realize you’re feeling envy, you know that there’s probably a goal there you can set for yourself. Not worth the effort/time/whatever involved? Then was there really something to envy? Sometimes envy can misfire and it’s good to realize that we actually don’t really want something that we originally thought we did, after all.
Of course, sometimes we really do want something, but it’s really out of our control (e.g., I envy the timbre of people who have beautiful singing voices. I can practice as much as I want but my timbre’s always going to be kind of “meh.”) But here again is an opportunity. This time to allow ourselves to let go that which is not under our control, and make peace with our lot in life, recognizing that nobody has everything, or control over everything, but we each have a lot of blessings, and a lot that we do control. Remembering my place in the world, both my blessings and my limits, and how similar that is to everyone elses, helps me envy beautiful voices in a bittersweet way that’s more sweet than bitter. We don’t have to be ruled by our “wants.” Life is complete and joyful even though not every single one of our desires will be fulfilled.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
yeah, sure I’ve been a little jealous. my ex-boss who is very rich has a gorgeous, droolworthy set. and I’m jealous of every bee who got to pick her own ring and got exactly what she wanted.
but it’s not bitchy jealousy. just a “sigh, you are so lucky” type of jealousy. I’m not bitter about it. I’ll get what I want one day when I’m ready for it, and until then I will contentedly drool over other people’s rings.
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
No , but I’m picky. Though I probably would be if I ever saw someone with a blue diamond *drools*
Post # 15
@veryberry13: It’s not bad as long as you aren’t cruel. Pretty normal. My jealousy is kind of weird in that I can acknowledge and respect someone with a better ring than me, but I don’t hate on them. It’s more like a “Man, it’d be great to have Jane’s ring!” kind of thing.
I work in an upscale office/retail area, and the only people who give me ragey jealousy are the women who can sit at Starbucks and look perfect all day, and not have to work.
Post # 16
@VivienMarcheline: That’s a big part of my problem, really want to get married haha! It’s nice to know there is (hopefully) an end after I get engaged/married.
@elliptical2013: Good Point.
@nerdybird: I think I’m in your camp. SO has made it clear that he wants to pick the ring, so who knows what I’ll end up with. Many bees talk about it and it adds to my waiting anxiety…like am I missing out on a part of the process because others are doing this now?
@joya_aspera: Also a good point…the singing example is a good one