Post # 1
Oh my goodness when I found out about this tradition I thought it was amazing! I love the idea of torturing the groomsmen, but at the same time, I’m not sure how weird it would be. I’m white and SO is chinese. On top of that, everyone we would pick as bridesmaids and groomsmen are white, so I’m not sure if doing this tradition would really work, especially since I’ve never really seen wedding door games and the bridesmaids probably wouldn’t get it either… (Like the “we need $999 in order for you to see the bride!!!” Part especially… None of them understand the resemblance of the number 9 in that…)
For those who don’t know what this is, it’s a chinese wedding tradition where the groom and groomsmen must “earn their way” in to see/pick up the bride to take her to the ceremony/marry her. Here is an example: http://youtu.be/zDiAFvOWLlM
and a website about it: http://ineventscanada.weebly.com/chinese-wedding-games.html
What did any other couples do?
Post # 3
@Helloemi: I think it’d be helpful if you explained what wedding door games are
Post # 5
@Helloemi: Aw I can’t see videos at work. That does sound interesting if everyone else is well informed as to what it’s about and how it works.
Otherwise people may think it’s money-grabby if it doesn’t have context. What’s the meaning behind the number 9??
Post # 6
can you please explain, i can’t see videos either.
Post # 7
@Chrysoberyl: the way it was explained to me: the number “9” rhymes with “enough” in Cantonese so it’s kind of jokingly saying the groom needs to have enough money to support her, but there are like a ton of explanations for the number “9” all over the web and none of them are the same.
Post # 8
@Chrysoberyl: it’s usually demanding money from the groom, who is usually prepared for it, so not money grabby.
Post # 9
@Chrysoberyl: The number 9 is significant because it’s a homonym for the word that means longevity. 🙂 That’s also why there are lots of Chinese weddings in September and on the 9th of other months.
As a (mostly) Chinese bride with a Serbian SO, I don’t think I’ll be doing the wedding door games. SO says that Serbs have a similar tradition (minus the money and embarrassment part – the games are usually designed to be embarrassing/physically taxing for the groom and his groomsmen)…but even so, I don’t feel comfortable with it because:
a) SO hates parting with money and I’d hate to see money given away when we could’ve used it for a vacation or something
b) it’s not his culture/tradition
c) this exercise wouldn’t mean much to my family, unlike, say, the tea ceremony
d) he’s been dealing with a mysterious shoulder injury for a year – we hope he’ll be fully recovered by the time we marry and I don’t want to jeopardize his health by making him do pushups and stuff (a popular part of the games)
e) I don’t want him or the groomsmen to be all sweaty and gross for our pictures – I’m going to be flipping through them for the rest of my life!
f) my family’s from Hong Kong and the whole bridesmaids-during-door-games thing is a bit of a cultural inside joke (a popular HK stand up comic even did a whole segment on it in one of his shows); it can become a really ugly display and, besides the fact that my closest girls are too classy to behave that way, I just want my wedding to be an elegant affair
I’ve witnessed door games before and they can be a lot of fun to watch, especially if everyone’s a good sport, but it’s just not something I want to subject Mr. Pisces to!
To give everyone a better idea of how door games are, here are some examples of games that take place – all the “challenges” are meant for the groom but usually his boys will step in to help him.:
-push-ups/situps/other exercises (i.e. having to do 99 or something like that)
-leg-waxing with wax strips (no, really, I have seen pics on FB to prove it!)
-answering questions about the bride/relationship while two groomsmen each have the end of a banana in their mouth, and each wrong answer means they have to take a bite
-swearing “oaths” that the bridesmaids have written about how he promises to do all the housework, childcare, endure the bride’s foul moods, indulge her every whim and command, hand over all the money he earns for his wife to spend, etc.
…and so on!
Post # 10
@Helloemi: If everyone is game, I think it’s a fun way to break to the ice at an engagement party. Participants don’t need to be Chinese or E-Asian to have fun and humiliate each other! haha
My family is Vietnamese-Chinese mixed, so our traditions are slightly different. Plus it’s the 21st century, so our goal is to make the groom do embarrassing things rather than ask for significant amounts of money (we also don’t have any significance with 9).
We also had TWO levels of embarrassment: “door games” and “see the bride” games. The groom’s party technically has to “ask permission to enter the bride’s home”. We tease the groom and party at the door:
- “There’s a toll! $5 to get inside”
- “What’s the password? Hint: It’s your anniversary!!”
This is just a taste of what’s to come…Inside, the bride hides somewhere out of sight. The groom has to perform “challenges” to coax her to come down from upstairs. I have 3 older sisters so these are some things we made the groom-to-be do…:
- Sing. LOUDLY! Loud enough for her to hear yooouu!
- Profess your love. Again LOUDLY to get her to come down.
- Hula hoop, push ups, jumping jacks, other physical stuff
- There was something about a string tied around the groom’s waist with a banana hanging from it and I think he had to knock stuff over with the banana? I can’t remember the point of that one, but it was hilarious!
- Pop a certain number of balloons using only his butt
So anyway, as you can see, you can do any variety of humiliating things to the groom in order for him to see his lovely bride! It really depends on the crowd, if they are extremely traditional or not. You should have fun with it!
Post # 11
@Pisces: SO’s family is from HK, and I’ve seen some of the ones they throw at the groom/groomsmen, and some of them are a little too overboard/humiliating/homoerotic for me, lol. I did find some that I liked though, sans humiliation and going overboard. I think if we wanted to do this, the trials would be rather mild…
@BayBee: From what it seems like when I hear about the games, a typical answer to the groom asking to come in is the bridesmaids saying “You must give us $9,999!!!!”
to which the guys reply “we don’t have that much money!”
then the girls say “Well then you need to earn your way in!!!”
Ones I was thinking of is
-the bitter, sweet, salty, and spicy food thing
-make them sing(bsb or nsync preferable lol)
-make them do push-ups
-make them come up with a ridiculous amount of money(IE $18.72 exact change no exceptions/I’ve heard of people going door to door trying to get a nickel)
-say “I love you” in as many languages as possible
-trivia of some sort(maybe something from twilight?)
-blind fold the groom and have him feel The bride’s, a groomsmen’s, and all the bridesmaids’ hands(all mixed up of course) and have him guess which one is the bride.
all in all, pretty mellow, but allowing for amusement and laughs?