Post # 1
I just read a recent post on a bride who would include a line similar to “If no RSVP is received by (date), we will assume you aren’t coming” on their RSVPs. Of course, written in a nicer way, I think this is a brilliant idea.
We are quite a ways out from our wedding but, I am a huge planner and anxiety A stresser. I can totally see us running into the same problem so many brides run into – having to chase down RSVPs. And having to chase them down for a no is even worse to me. I would love to alleviate some stress as RSVP’s are sent mere weeks before the wedding.
Has anyone included a line like this on their RSVP? What did you say? How would you say this? I don’t know if my FI would even agree to writing something like this but, still wondering the best way to say this as nicely as possible.
Post # 3
This is going to get you in so much trouble!!
1. People are not going to remember that you said that on the RSVP. Which means that they will still show up, and the problem will not have been solved.
2. The problem not being solved will lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, not enough chairs, not enough food/booze/cake, and will create drama long after the wedding.
Just do the RSVP followup. We all had to do it. It isn’t a big deal.
Post # 4
You can use the line after contacting non-RSVPers once. It’s rude to start out with it. You say “Hi Aunt Sally, it’s bride! We still haven’t received your RSVP for our wedding. If we don’t hear from you by Friday, we’ll put you down as a no. Hope Uncle Sal is well!”
Post # 5
I have to agree with the PP. I think if it were anything but a wedding, writing that would be fine. But why risk the hassle and stress that might come about if there’s a misunderstanding? How awful would it be to have 20 extra people show up at your wedding, unexpectedly? It would be a lot more awful than having to make a phone call one day to confirm who is and isn’t coming. I think you should follow up on RSVPs just to save yourself the stress of the uncertainty.
Post # 6
While I appreciate your sentiment, and I do, I don’t think this solves the problem,as crayfish said. And I know I will be fuming as i call to track down the people who didn’t rsvp…..I think it’s the rudest thing in the world to not bother your ass to rsvp to someone’s WEDDING. But alas, some people were raised by wolves….LOL
p.s. no judgement against wolves.
Post # 7
Post # 8
I’m still doing an RSVP follow-up for ours, but on the FB page (I made an event on there so people could easily click yes or no) I posted that I had to finalize things on whatever date and to please let me know if they could make it, couldn’t, or if they were still working on babysitters or work schedules, and then said that I was worried there wouldn’t be enough chairs. It worked, because if you tell people they might not be able to sit down, they’ll get off their ass and respond LOL. But this was a way more casual thing (and wedding) than most, so I can’t say I’d recommend it…just throwing it out there.
Post # 9
You can’t assume they are not coming. You have to do what crayfish said!
Post # 11
I have to agree with the PP. Typically for parties (like the bridal shower) those that don’t RSVP you are supposed to assume they are coming. Can you imagine the stress of having to accommodate 20 or so people at the last moment? Oy vey!
I would instead put in the time to contact each person individually to get an answer. I had to do it and many other brides have done it as well, it is just part of the process.
Post # 12
You get a bouncer and a guest list (like at a club) and turn people away at the door! Haha. Just kidding.
I can’t think of a good way to alleviate the RSVP frustration either, aside from chasing people down. 🙁
Post # 13
How about: “Please rsvp, otherwise we cannot guarantee you a seat or a plate.” Hahahahaha!
Post # 15
Post # 16
I think that it is rude to put on the card. RSVPs as I understand it from nearly everyone I know who got married are annoying. Just prepare yourself to chase people down. After the due date make a few phone calls/emails and tell the guest if they don’t respond by in the next few days you will be giving the Vendors your final numbers and you won’t be able to accomdate should they choose to come. After that no one will have a leg to stand on if they don’t reply after the due date, and after a follow up call/email