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The comments on a recent thread really surprised me. Many of the Bees that replied indicated that their ceremonies either started 10-15 minutes after the time on the invitation or they intentionally put a time on the invitation that was earlier than their intended start time...all in an attempt to accomodate late-comers.
Whether or not the people who do arrive on time should have to wait for those who don't is another issue. My surprise was that only one other Bee stated that if the invitation says 5:00, 5:00 is the time the bride makes her way down the aisle.
I had always thought that was the rule? If an invitation says 5:00, I am always sure to be in my seat by 4:30, if not 4:15 (if I suspect the church will be full or it's a very formal wedding with a lot of attendants). I would never go intending to get there right at 5:00. Nor would I expect the ceremony to just be starting at 5:00. Has the rule changed? Am I the only one who does this?
I expect that the ceremony starts at the stated time, and that as a guest, you should be there 15 - 20 minutes earlier than stated time.
I struggled with this one for such a long time, but my venue suggested that for a 6pm ceremony start, our invitations read 5:30. It seems that there is the least amount of uniformity on this subject! But it all worked out okay - we ended up telling our guests to arrive between 5:30-5:45 in an email correspondence before the wedding, so that they were aware that the wedding didn't start at 5:30.
Traditionally, it meant the bride would be walking down the aisle at 5:00. Now, it means that the ceremony will start at 5:00.
If I get an invite that says 5:00, I'll be there by 4:30 - 4:45 and I won't be happy if I'm forced to sit around for 45-60 minutes trying to accomodate rude late-comers.
I got married at home, and the invites said 6pm. As soon as it was 6, we locked the doors and put a sign up forl late comers to enter through the back, and started the ceremony. I was so nervous and I hate to be late so I wanted to start right on time. I expect the ceremony to start at the time noted on the invite, and I arrive earlier that what it states.
Our invitation says 5:30 and I plan to start as close to that as possible. If we’re waiting on some VIP’s to be seated then I’m fine pushing it back 10 minutes or so but no more than that. Whenever I receive an invitation I always assume that the specified time is when the ceremony will begin so I always arrange to be early (normally 15-30 minutes). To be honest, I HATE when couples “lie” on their invitations. They’re just punishing those who were respectful and on-time (or early).
I always thought it meant the bride's processional starts at 5:00. Our invitations said the ceremony started at 4:00, and I walked down the aisle at 4:05, only because of some technical difficulties with the dj and the priest. Otherwise, it would have been exactly on time.
I agree that guests should be there and seated by at least 4:50, I would expect to only start around 5:10-5:15.
While in a perfect world guests would arrive early and the ceremony would start on time, that's usually not the case. Whether the guests are just inconsiderate and habitually late, or whether unavoidable delays keep some from getting there on time, there will usually be latecomers.
No bride wants to start walking down the aisle only to have Aunt Mildred burst through the doors, dash past her and squeeze past a row of guests to an empty seat whispering, "Sorry, sorry." So I can kind of understand postponing the start of the wedding to accommodate latecomers, if only to minimize distractions during the ceremony.
@linguo42: LOL. I'm my opinion Aunt Mildred can wait at the flippin door! LOL.
@.twist.: What Aunt Mildred should do and what she will do are two very different things. ;)
Our venue opens to the public at 6pm and we are having my bridesmaids start walking at 6:30pm. Our invites also say 630pm and I'm really hoping that everyone gets there from 6-629pm.
I think giving a 15 minute or so window is perfectly acceptable - there will always be a few people who get lost, etc.
Just a cautionary tale: A few years ago, I went to a wedding where the bride arranged for the bus leaving the hotel to drop everyone off at the ceremony/reception venue about 90 minutes before the ceremony. We all just assumed that the ceremony would be shortly after the bus dropped us off (we didn't look that closely at the invitation) - but unfortunately about 100 people were left in a cramped waiting room for at least an hour before they brought us out to the ceremony area. There was some limited champagne or wine service - everyone rushed the poor wait staff - so I think I wound up sharing a glass of wine with a few friends. We also found out that the bride had informed the families with children the actual start time so that they could plan accordingly. I think this is what infuriated people the most.
Our wedding starts at one. I'd expect everyone to be into the church by 12:50. We're going to seat VIPs starting at one (which I consider part of the ceremony) so I'll probably we walking down the aisle by 1:15 - but I have three sets of grandparents and step parents to seat, and then I have five bridesmaids, and our pastor will do a few annoucements before my girls start walking down.
Too funny, my invitation says 5pm! I'm hoping to be walking down the aisle just after 5, but knowing FI and his tendency to be late, it'll probably be closer to 5:15. But whenever I go to a wedding, I expect the ceremony to start at the time given and I'll try and be there 15 min before.
I guess it depends on your family and friends. I've actually never thought about arriving at 4:30 if the invite says 5pm, I just try to get there by 5. Sorry if that makes me a bad person, I've never missed a minute of someone's wedding ceremony though, so I guess in my circle of friends and family no one expects to start at the time stated on the invitation.
All the weddings I've been to people always stand around and mingle too prior to seating. Which also adds more time to get everyone seated.
Our invitations had the ceremony starting at 5pm. The ceremony started at 5pm with the Moms being seated, followed by the bridal party. I didn't wear a watch that day, but I'm pretty sure I started down the aisle sometime between 5:05-5:10pm. I always interpret the time on the invitation as the time my butt should be there and seated, so I usually aim to be there 15-30 minutes before the time on the invite.
Wow, I always thought that the time stated meant the time I should be there by....good thing I haven't attended many weddings yet
for a 5pm wedding i would arrive around 4:30 expect to be in my seat by 4:45, with the expectation the ceremony will start at 5. imo people shouldn't be late for a wedding, i wouldn't allow time for latercomers, i know sometimes it is inevatible. but it should not affect the days proccedings :) just my opinion tho
Our invitations said 4 and I'm pretty sure I was down the aisle by 4:10. At least 3 families came late, slipping in after the readings had started, so I'm glad we didn't try to wait for latecomers.
Funny story - so one of our friends was supposed to read our second reading, but didn't show up (though neither of us realized this until the second reading was about to start). Another friend quietly stood up, read it, and sat back down, at which point the original reader arrived. I wanted to laugh so bad but managed to keep it to a smile. Talk about perfect timing.
I live near Philadelphia, and it is VERY rare for a wedding to start at the time indicated on the invitation. I think in an area like ours where timing your arrival is very hard to do because of traffic, it makes sense to start a few minutes late. I don't think people get antsy about waiting either, because if you hit traffic, you hit traffic. Nothing you can do about it. A wedding should be worth the wait for the bride!! :)
I think everyone tries to leave with enough time to get to the location of the wedding, but some things you cant control, like traffic.
Our ceremony will be at 5, thats when i plan for it to actually start..ive always been early then what it says on the invite just to be safe
I agree that is the invite says 5pm, the ceremony should start at 5pm. When invited to a wedding, I make it a point to be there before that. UNFORTUNATELY, not everyone out there has that much sense. So it is usually a good idea to start the ceremony a little late. I'll be damned if I'm standing in the back of the church ready to walk down the aisle and late-comer walks in behind me. That's a big hell no!
5:00 is the time you want me seated and attentive to the proceedings, rather than gabbing with friends. I'll aim to get there no later than 4:45 (and ensure traffic won't hold me up).
The only wedding I've not been in my seat early, is when my cousin handed me a bag of shells and asked me to lay down a line of them on either side of the aisle for her. I was scrambling to get that down and had to hastily back out when my nephew (ringbearer) started dragging the flower girl (yes, dragging when she fell...be careful what you tell the kids they will follow orders such "don't stop!" literally) down the aisle and starting the ceremony.
Our venue had the solution to this problem. They TOLD us to put the start time at 11am, the ceremony starts at 11:30. When our guests arrive they will be led to our cocktail hour room which will be set up with a continental breakfast with coffee, tea and juices. Our keyboardist will be there playing for our guests as well.A few minutes before the start, everyone will be led to the ceremony area.
5:00 is the time you want to be seated, so i would show up 4:45.
My ceremony is starting at 11 - I expect everyone seated at 11 and ready to go! We have a very tight timeline for taking photos, and I don't like to keep people waiting, and I expect the same from others!
However, our venue is NOT on google maps, does not show up on GPS, and I'm worried about all our OOT guests getting lost. So I may have to cut some slack to those people.
Our ceremony started at 4:30. I had already planned to walk down the aisle at 4:40 (for the simple reason that people may be late-my wedding coordinator actually suggested this since people are always late to weddings) and that time of 4:40 worked fine for us. (20 min ceremony and wanted to be done by 5pm) I'm glad we did this, as 1/4 of the people were late (seriously, out of 60 guests, at least 15 walked into the ceremony room right at 4:30 or 4:35) I know a lot of people say to just walk at the scheduled time, but I'm so glad we did it the way we did!
I expect weddings to start at the time it states on the invitation. I always make sure I am there 15 minutes early to allow time for seating. I start getting ancy about 5 minutes after the start time. I can't stand things being late.
My FI and I are late to everything! Not intentionally it just seems that how it is with us. (I alwayss tell him he is even going to be late to his own funeral. Hee-hee) So my invites will say ceremony to begin at 6 and start 5 to 10mins later. Plus we are having 2-3 soloist sing and a vidoe played before ether of us reach the alter. So even if you are a little late, you don't miss anything.
My Venue is trying to convince me to start 15 minutes after my stated invitation time for those who are late. . . but I really dont want to. It makes me feel bad for all those people who showed up 30 minutes early. Then they just have to sit around and wait even longer.
We are planning to start seating Grandparents on the dot at 6PM the time our invites say.
@Jenn23: This.
We gave an extra 15 minutes, otherwise there would have been a lot of people waiting outside or coming in when the WP was walking down the aisle. My DOC said we could start right on time, but people were still pretty steadily arriving, so I told her to start 15 after. I think if your guests are all there on time, great, start. It didn't work like that for my wedding. :P
I expect a ceremony to start at the time on the invite, although I know most expect it to start at least 15 minutes later due to late comers. I am always there at least 20 minutes before the noted start time on the card.
I sent an email telling everyone that my ceremony would begin promptly at 10. I also told them to give themselves plenty of time to get there and to allow for more time than they think (I got married at Disney World and that place is huge). I had a girlfriend say she was glad that I said that because she would've shown up at 10. Everyone was there in plenty of time and we started the procession right on time (not that I would've waited for any late comers anyways. DH knows me and knows his family and told them all, including his mother, that if she wasn't on time we weren't waiting...)
If I got an invitation that said 5, I would assume that I should arrive by 4:30, and plan for parents and grandparents to be seated at 5.
I'm having my ceremony and reception at the same venue and we have to be out by 11. My intent is to start at 4:30 but I think I'm going to put 4:15 on my invitations to give the late comers a chance to get there. I am having a cocktail hour before and after the ceremony so it's not like people are just going to be sitting there. I told my FI he better be there on time because at 4:30 with or without him I will be walking down the aisle
The only invitation I can remember the time of said "12.30, for 1", which makes perfect sense to me, and is what I would probably write on my own invitations, too.
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