I’m going to be rude here and it’s not going to be a popular opinion.
I’m 22, FI is 23. We have been dating since high school and engaged for almost two years now. I finish my bachelor’s in December and that’s when he finishes his master’s. He has a job lined up, I have a big fat question mark right now (either student teaching or job hunting) but his job pays MORE than enough to cover all of our living expenses and a comfortable amount of spending/fun money as well as savings for the wedding. He already makes more than either of our parents did and soon (5-10 years) will make more than both of our parents combined ever did. If I don’t find a job I’m absolutely thrilled with, I’ll go to grad school and get myself one 🙂
When people on this website say early twenties is too young to get married, I want to laugh. I don’t think there’s a person in our lives who thinks we aren’t ready. I think it’s true that early twenties is too young for a large amount of people, but these people I picture were marginal high school students with no college completed, live with their parents or barely scrape by month-to-month, and are immature/self-centered. While this does make up a huge amount of twenty-somethings, it’s certainly not all of them!
Looking around at my peers and friends, I’m always pleasantly surprised to find …. we really have our shit together lol. And I’m really not down with listening to people on the internet say I’m too young when they don’t know me and if they were too immature for marriage at my age then that’s THEIR prerogative and fifty shades of completely irrelevent to me and my life.
I think that when people say “oh I was just too young to get married” it generally means they were too immature to put forth the effort to make a marriage work past the honeymoon and butterflies. They didn’t have their values sorted out and didn’t know who, exactly, they were quite yet, but they don’t want to own up to that so they say they were too young and we are supposed to just infer that that means immature or self-centered or unrealistic because that’s what they really mean, not that they hadn’t had enough birthday cakes yet. I think it has NOTHING to do with age whatsoever. Some people wake up at 33 still perpetually uncertain and still have no direction in life. Certainly there are less people like that at 33 than at 23, but correlation doesn’t prove causation.
Do your thing. Don’t let an internet poll dictate how you should feel about your life.
I think young couples are MORE LIKELY to end up getting married because of an unplanned pregnancy or because of wedding fever, or whatever, than older couples, because each person has grown more as an individual and is more self-reliant and stable. But not all young couples get married for the abovementioned reasons
and I DO NOT understand arbitrarily throwing out a number and saying “marriages after this age are OK.” Makes no sense. Age and corresponding maturity are so different for everyone