SPINOFF: Is it offensive to bring a bachelorette party to a gay bar?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Is it offensive to bring a bachelorette party to a gay bar?
    Yes. : (109 votes)
    47 %
    No. : (74 votes)
    32 %
    No, but only if the gay bar is in a state that has legalized gay marriage. : (51 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    It honestly wouldn’t have occurred to me that it was offensive until I read it on this site. I don’t really know any (openly) gay guys so I guess I’m not in the know. However, I live in Canada and gay marriage is totally ok here. I wonder if that changes how our gay community would feel about it versus some of the American states that haven’t legalized it? 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Mmmmm – I think it’s in bad taste.

    It’s one thing to invite a gay couple to your wedding (they have the option of attending or declining if they are at all sensitive to the issue) but if you go into a gay bar, in a state that does not allow it, it seems pretty insulting.   I think it’s important to be mindful of those things when you can.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    1500 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    o.o i didnt read the other thread so i dont really get why would it be offensive..

    Post # 6
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    while this isn’t everyone, I know that some gay dudes are a bit annoyed by the influx of straight women infringing on their designated space.  just a thought.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1500 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @skippydarling:  OOOOOOOOH… now i get it!

    o.o i still dont think it’s offensive… but im not gay so… how would i know.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2527 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    i’ve only gone to gay clubs/bars with my gay friends. i live in the SF area so we go to the castro because there are some kick ass clubs there. i didn’t have a bachelorette but if i had, i probably wouldn’t have gone to a gay club for it. i can see how it could’ve been seen as disrespectful/hurtful since gays/lesbians couldn’t get married back in 2011. thank god prop 8 finally went away so now it’s legal. yay! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2527 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @cmbr:  where’s the original thread? i can’t find it. 🙁

    Post # 12
    Member
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    This just seems crazy to me, I have a good friend who is gay and does a drag show and he loves when bachlorette parties come in and so do a lot of the men he works with.  He is trying to convince me to plan my bachlorette party around his show so he can dress as a bride.  I have met some other men who are also gay through him and they seem more interested and excited about my upcoming wedding than a lot of women I meet.  I guess I don’t understand this because I have never run into gay men who are against this sort of thing.  Like I said in the other post it comes down to the person on if it is offensive.  I guess since you never know who are going to run into you should be careful and be prepared to get told off if you have your bachelorette party in a gay bar.

    Post # 13
    Member
    867 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    @cmbr:  Yes! I feel like it’s such a thoughtless, tacky thing to do. I can’t actually believe anybody is entitled, immature and stupid enough to do something like this. Why would you go there if you were straight? LGBT bars are for LGBT people. If you are straight stay OUT. It’s as simple as that. 

    @victoriasaurusrex:  And dudettes, I’d imagine. I would be super annoyed if I was chatting up a girl in a gay bar and she turned out to be straight. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    867 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    @calibee79:  It was a question on the ‘rate the bad etuquitte’ thread where a bride was bitching because she had her bach party in a gay club and her fragile little fee-fees were hurt when she was rightly told off by a gay guy.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    @BridieBea:  Huh… I’m not sure it’s ideal to say that all straight people should be banned from gay bars.  That walks the line of discrimination a little close.  Someone could argue then that there could be straight bars that band the LGBT community.

     

    I never really thought of this issue before.  It does seem rather tasteless though, unless they were in a state that allowed gay marriage, or the owner was a best friend, or the bride in question was bi.  Or something like that.  Otherwise, I’m not sure why exactly they would want to do that (though let me tell you, the gay bars here have a much better reputation than the other bars, so maybe that’s why).

    Post # 16
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Yes, but not because of anything related to marriage.

    Seems like they’re just there to objectify the men (men who they already know are not going to be interested in being objectified by women). It would be as offensive as men going for a leer in a lesbian bar. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that.

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors