Spinoff: Joint vs. Separate expenses when financial troubles happen…

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well if they married them, it becomes their issue as well. Of course I’d put everything together, but idk if I would marry someone who isn’t financially responisible. If you marry them you better trust and have faith in them in all aspects or why would you marry them? That is a very important issue. 

Post # 3
Member
3044 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

cdncinnamongirl:  In that situation I would think that the two should sit down with a credit counsellor to figure out exactly what would happen to the more wealthy spouse’s assets in the case of bankruptcy or proposal. The counsellor could also help them figure out a money philosophy and budget to help them be on good footing in the future.

Push comes to shove, you should have each other’s backs… though in the case of bankruptcy due to spending money on wants rather than needs you could argue that the bankrupt spouse didn’t have their spouse’s back when they spent that money.

I think that marriages and relationships work the way they should when they bring out the best in each person for each other. Ideally, the ‘richer’ spouse should be okay with spending their money in a way that is best for both of them, because having a happy healthy loving spouse is more important than a big bank account balance.  The ‘poorer’ spouse should also put their spouse’s happiness and wellbeing and the health of their relationship first.

If both partners put the other one’s happiness and wellbeing first, everyone has someone who puts them number one.

Post # 4
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

cdncinnamongirl:  I’ve always thought of it as “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours” once youre married. 

My husband had some debt when we got married and we worked on it togther. I think for a partnership to work you have to be all in even if it sucks for a while. My friend didn’t want to combine bank accounts with her fiancé because he pays child support and she said it wasn’t her responsibility. but those will be her step kids so they will be. 

Post # 5
Member
282 posts
Helper bee

I think the point that’s missed in the other thread is that its not whether or not money is shared. It’s about being on the same page financially. Having similar spending/saving habits, having an agreed upon plan for the future, and what ever the setup is, having both partners in agreeance and happy with it. 

Enetering a marriage or even in an existing one where one partner needs to be bailed out, to me signals a fundamental difference in responsibilty. Personally, I wouldn’t be marrying someone who couldn’t manage their debt or needed my help in paying off anything not medical/education related. 

Post # 6
Member
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m in Australia so our student debt is much different it come out of our income when we earn over 60k(I think) a year. We have no credit cards or loans (besides from family which happened after we got the joint accounts) because being 20 we want tl avoid debt. In saying that if FI did have debt (so long as he wasn’t a gambler or had ridiculous spending habits) I would still have the joint accounts and work on the debt together. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  GalaxyCat.
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