SPINOFF: Most Awkward SELF-invite moments

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

The nerve of some people, man! And wtf is up with making a huge deal out of getting invited, then not bothering to show once the pity invitation has been extended??!!

– I was attending my aunt’s bridal shower (about a year before my own wedding) and a mutual family friend overheard my aunt mentioning my upcoming wedding, and gasped all loudly. After the entire room was silent, she looked me dead in the eye and asked if she was invited/could come. Ummm, I’ve seen you only twice in my life, but suuuuuuuuuuure…

– I was a bridesmaid in a good friend’s very large wedding the other year, and on the morning of the wedding, a mutual friend in our social circle who had not been invited actually called up both the bride AND the groom (on the MORNING of the WEDDING DAY) and asked if he was allowed to come. It was so painful and embarrassing, we were all just blinking at each other after the bride got off the phone. Who does that??!!

Post # 4
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Have a couple stories:

– A girl who runs in the same social circles as I do, told the bride that even if she wasn’t invited, she was showing up anyway. The bride ended up sending her an invite to avoid drama.

– Same girl as above WAS invited to an upcoming wedding… however she’s seeing a married man. She kind of bullied the bride into extending the invite with a “and guest.”

Not to wedding, but to shower:

Girl is dating one of the groomsman. Girl is KNOWN as a drama queen, which is one of the reasons the Bride is not friends with her/doesn’t care for her. Because of this, Girl is not invited to the shower. After the shower we had a co-ed “after party. Groomsman shows up with Girl and Girl find out we just came from the shower. Has a couple meltdown about not being invited. As we’re heading out to dinner she “runs away.” Groomsman has to go after her.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’ve only had one awkward situation so far lol .. A former co-worker of mine (who now works in a different department) and I were walking past each other and she asked me how my wedding planning was going and she asked if I set a date and I responded yes with my date which has now changed but her response back: “okay perfect, I’ll mark it on my calendar” .. I didnt know what to say?! I would never assume I was just invited to someones wedding adfter working with them for 2 months? 

Post # 6
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lindseyl06:  I was at a casual get together with co-workers, whom I have known for 4 months, being that I just started working there…we end up at one of their homes because they invited all of us back from the resturant to play pool. Before I even know what’s happening, they’re planning their trip to my wedding (it’s a DW) and are literally on the computer looking up airfare. W T F. So I ended up sending them each an invite, so at least I could figure out if they were really coming. Neither of them have RSVP’ed yet. Figures.

 

Post # 7
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This is not quite the same but, my sister keeps insisting that her friends be invited to the wedding. These are friends that I have never met, have no connection with what-so-ever, etc. Now I agreed to invite 1 of her best friends that I do know and have known for a long time so she would feel like some of her friends were there, despite the fact that as my MOH she will have no time for her friends. She then proceeded to tell me that I just have to invite these other girls (not even her best friends) becuase they have already talked to her about how much they want to be invited and how much fun it would be to be at a wedding. I have to keep explaining to my sister, I am cutting many people out I would like to invite (including some family), I am NOT inviting your friend instead (that I have never met in my life, who just want to go to a wedding). 

Post # 8
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

my BM blackmailed herself into our wedding by starting rumors about me at work. We worked together and it’s was a pretty rough few weeks (Our wedding was 10 weeks after we got engaged) that resulted in me getting passed up for a promotion. I ended up “inviting” her to be a BM so the stories and rumors would stop. i was gping to lose either way 🙁 She’s pure evil. 

My FIL called me after we told everyone we were engaged and let me know that he’d be emailing me a list of the 150 people he wanted to invite. i had no words for this since we had been engaged for a day or two at this point. I finally said something joking like “I hope a checks coming with that list!” And he acted all astonished and told me it was custom for the brides family to fund the wedding since he was “losing a son.” i laughed and reminded him it was 2011 ( at the time) and asked if my father gave him a cow for my Dowry. He was not Amused. He still “invited” some of his buddies I told he we were not inviting and they were turned away at the door. 

Post # 9
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cooperlove:  Holy canoli. I feel like I need to hear more of your first story! Blackmailed into your bridal party?! whaaaaaaaat?! Secondly, you actually had to turn people away?! Like your ushers actually had to usher someone out the door?! I don’t know if that’s awesome or horrible?! Why are people so crazy?! 

I’ve had several people from work assume that they are invited when we just don’t have the space. It’s always so awkward but I’ve gotten to the point that I just flat out say, “if we have the space” My boss (who isn’t my boss anymore) is still texting me asking about invitations. I’m ignoring and deleting them all since we didn’t even get along in the first place! 

Also, my FH has so many friends who happen to be with signifant others that I’ve had to cut a lot of my friends and only have a handful invited. So it’s really awkward to talk to older friends from HS who assumed they would be invited. 

Post # 10
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@maraschino:  I kind of feel bad for the friend in the last story you told. They probably had known about the wedding and was really looking forward to it and feeling left out since it was a mutual friend. :/

 

I was actually kind of the one who invited ‘myself’ to a wedding! Well, kind of. My boyfriend received the invitation in the mail (one of his best friends getting married) and you had to RSVP online. It only had the option for my boyfriend to say yes for himself… no guest. He said its okay, you just come along with me! So I said no, we can’t do that… they have to have specific numbers and I dont wanna mess up their day. So I told him to call and see if they meant to give him a guest or not, and they said they didn’t give him the option of having a date because then we had only been together for a few months at that time. My man said he would only go if I was allowed to go. So, they allowed me to come. I thought I’d feel so weird, being a forced invite… but it wasn’t, thankfully.

Post # 11
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

These are so awkward! I hope to escape some of these situations by getting married out of state.

On a slightly related note, we went to an extended family reunion this summer, and of course, word of our engagement quickly became a topic of conversation. My fiancé knew our guest list, yet he still verbally invited my 50 random second cousins and families that I can’t even name. Even though its all distant family, perfect strangers came up to me to tell me how excited they are for our wedding next year. I’m hoping that after Christmas comes and goes, people will have forgotten about little old me…

Post # 12
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I had two of my mother’s friends that I don’t know well offhandedly mention “well, send me an invite!” to me at my mother’s funeral. I was obviously not in the most coherent states of mind so I couldn’t say anything about venue size or whatever, I was just like “sure okay whatever”. One never replied (despite unanswered phonecalls), and one RSVPed “yes” but no-showed with no explanation. I still have no idea what happened. I can’t believe how double-whammy rude that was.

Post # 13
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yikes! Ya know, the thing that is the most annoying about people getting grabby for an invite is that fact that half the time they don’t show up!

My old boss ran into me at Walmart & said if she didn’t get an invite she was going to be “disappointed in me” (lol..?). I ended up inviting her & she RSVPed at all, but then never showed & hasn’t said a word to me since.

Then, a couple of my college classmates were talking about how they loved wedding & would love to come to mine (wasn’t that odd really, except that we aren’t that close) so I invited them & they actually wrote stuff on facebook about going shopping together for dresses for my wedding. Then, neither of them showed up to the wedding even after RSVPing, & now whenever I see them they literally avoid me in the most overt way possible. I actually said “Hi, Erin!” to one of them in the hallway about 15 foot away from her looking right into her eyes & she pretended not to see or hear me lol.  

Post # 14
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Haha, my best friend/ MOH was talking to her dad about how awkward it is when people asked to bring extra people to our super small wedding, and he goes, yeah, definitely, that must be really frustrating, I know they are keeping it small; I’m so honored to have been invited!!

Umm… he wasn’t invited.  She kinda just laughed it off.  After a couple people dropped out last minute, I did ask him if he wanted to come and he was SO excited and of course showed up.  Ah well.  It ended up being nice to have him there.

That conversationn began because DH’s cousins RSVPd for their kids despite the invitation being only to the couple, and we weren’t having kids at the wedding (DH called them and explained and they were happy to get a sitter) and then a groomsman wanted to bring his mom as his guest, which was just weird (but I did let him do… and then she took all the flower arrangements and leftover food and leftover favors after the wedding but that’s a different story…. oh well!)

Post # 15
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh, I almost forgot lol, this is more my dad’s fault than anything else, but here goes:

So, my dad is a pretty social guy & has a lot of buddies that he hangs out with on the weekends & in the summer & drinks with out on the boat etc.. Well, I told him he could invite 3 guys & their wives to our wedding if he wanted, & he said “great, because I already invited some.” Umm, rude much? But then it ended up that one of the guys he invited is sort of a tool who has always been nice to me, but is insanely cheap. I know you aren’t supposed to invite ppl to the wedding based on gifts, but I have a bit of a vendetta against this guy because I used to show pigs at the county fair & every year you have to ask local patrons for donations toward your project or to buy your hogs. This guy always told my dad to have me invite him to the buyers luncheon & he would give me a donation. I invited him 3yrs in a row because he wanted to be, & he never once gave me a penny. Anywho, my dad invited him to the wedding & also to our joint bachelor/bachelorette bonfire & at the bonfire he drank a crap ton of our liquor & said “I’ll give you a nice gift at your wedding for all this liquor I’m drinking & all the times you called me up to let me know you had ammo at your store!” (my husband works at a sporting goods store & ammo goes really fast) & low & behold, the guys comes to the wedding, polishes off a good half fifth & then leaves without saying congrats or anything, & no card or gift.

Tool.

Post # 16
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@LeonardLady:  Yeeeahhhh…  no, it was a mutual friend but one we hadn’t seen in at least a year or two. He was more concerned that he’d miss out on free booze.  It was awkward.

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