Post # 1
I read the thread about never leaving your man alone with another woman and I found it interesting the different opinions. I was in a similar but switched scenario and I am wondering how others would react to this:
For work I needed to travel for 3 weeks with a guy I work with. We are few years apart in age. Our office gave us a stipend for the trip and told us to choose where we stayed, how we got there, etc. To save money we chose a place that had two bedroom condos. So essentially I was living with this guy for three weeks, we had seperate bedrooms but the rest was shared. I told my husband what we were doing and he didn’t say anything. He had never met the guy and just accepted it no question. As far as I know the guys wife had no issue with it either, he never mentioned a concern to me.
Would you be ok if your partner was in this situation, would your partner be ok if you were in this situation?
Post # 2
My DH trusts that I know how to handle myself and handle anything that isn’t going the way it’s supposed to. Just because I would be essentially living with a male coworker doesn’t mean shit is going to happen.
Post # 3
Being in separate rooms in the same building is no different to me than having a roommate or staying at the same hotel. Sharing a room/bed would be a different situation though.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I would not feel comfortable putting myself in that situation. To be in a condo with a guy I don’t know THAT well and trust with my safety? Not this chick. No way, no how. And Mr. Lk would be worried out of his mind about my safety, so even if I were okay with it, I would not make him worry like that.
Post # 5
I put “neither of us would be okay with it,” because honestly it isn’t ideal, but neither of us would ever cause trouble abouti t. I mean, it’s work, it has to be done.
Post # 6
While DH and I would be perfectly comfortable in that situation we would not be comfortable with the possibility of what could be implied by others. Our first instinct is to protect our relationship/marriage and that means not putting ourselves into situations that can seem questionable. So the likelihood of us moving forward with a similar arrangement would be slim to none. That is by no means a reflection on our trust with one another but rather a reflection of the judgment of others. Sad, but true.
Post # 7
Ugh. Tough one. Personally, I’m not sure how I would feel if I was the traveller, let alone FH. I guess I’d have to deal with it when it came BUT I’ll admit, at face value, I would not be altogether comfortable with the idea, regardless of whether it was FH or myself.
I don’t really want to share my “home” with a coworker. I don’t want to share TV’s, phones, bathrooms either with someone I’m not related to. I need my space, especially when outside of my own comfort zone.
Further, how would I parade around half-dressed? Awkward.
Post # 8
Depends if there were separate bathrooms. I wouldn’t love coming out of the bathroom after showering with a male coworker there. Otherwise, as long as I got along with the coworker it wouldn’t be an problem.
Post # 9
The other thread was easy for me to cast a vote, because frankly I think it’s insane to cut off your male friends or avoid being alone in the same room with a man just because you’re in a relationship. Living for someone for 3 weeks, though? I’m not sure. I had a male roommate in college, so I know that you can live with someone platonically. It’d just be hard to explain to my family why my husband was staying in an apartment with another woman. I guess a lot would depend on the amount of money we were saving. If the company was paying, or the difference was just a few hundred dollars, I’d want him to stay on his own.
Post # 10
I had three male room mates when SO and I started dating. If we I hadn’t gotten into grad school in our city, he would have moved in with a female friend. We are both alone with opposite sex friends multiple days a week. It would never bother us.
Post # 11
We have a relationship based on trust. If I felt like I needed to keep him away from other woman and that he couldn’t a few weeks being a roommate without whipping it out- we would not be getting married.
Post # 12
I chose the first option. We are having to do essentially the same thing here shortly. In a few weeks DH will be working about 3-4 hours away from our home, with a girlfriend of ours. They will be living in separate homes on the same property, but I have to stay back in town- I have a job that pays well and we couldn’t afford to give it up yet. I’ve got zero issues with it, except for not having my husband around as often as I want, but we’ve known her for years and had drunken sleepovers at our house & hers plenty times without anything getting awkward or anything like that… I know 100% neither of them would ever dream of anything happening- girl’s like our best friend & would put a smackdown on anyone that thought he was open game! =)
Post # 13
Just to clarify to one poster we did have seperate bathrooms. Mine was attached to my room. So no walking around in a towel required.
Also I do know the guy pretty well, safety was never a concern to me. I actually felt a little safer living with someone else rather than on my own. We were in a pretty remote area. We worked together for 5 or 6 years before this trip. My husband didnt know him very well. I am not sure they had met until he dropped me off when we got back from the airport.
I find everyones responses very interesting. This actually happened several years ago and I never thought it was a big deal at all but I can see how some would be concerned with how it looks.
Post # 14
Honestly, it depends on the coworker. If I felt she was funnier, more attractive, more interesting, more whatever than me, I would worry. if I thought she’d merely remind FI how much he misses me, I wouldn’t worry.
Post # 15
eastcoaster: It wouldn’t be an ideal choice for both of us, but if it was for work – it wouldn’t be a huge deal. I would probably prefer separate hotel rooms though.