Spinoff: Never Leave Your Man Alone

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you be OK with this scenario? Would your partner be?
    My partner would be and so would I : (54 votes)
    52 %
    My partner would be, I would not be : (10 votes)
    10 %
    My partner would not be but I would be : (3 votes)
    3 %
    Neither of us would be OK with it : (37 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 2
    3355 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My DH trusts that I know how to handle myself and handle anything that isn’t going the way it’s supposed to. Just because I would be essentially living with a male coworker doesn’t mean shit is going to happen.

    Post # 3
    8388 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Being in separate rooms in the same building is no different to me than having a roommate or staying at the same hotel.  Sharing a room/bed would be a different situation though.

    Post # 4
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I would not feel comfortable putting myself in that situation. To be in a condo with a guy I don’t know THAT well and trust with my safety? Not this chick. No way, no how. And Mr. Lk would be worried out of his mind about my safety, so even if I were okay with it, I would not make him worry like that.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  lovekiss.
    Post # 5
    1581 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I put “neither of us would be okay with it,” because honestly it isn’t ideal, but neither of us would ever cause trouble abouti t. I mean, it’s work, it has to be done.

    Post # 6
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    While DH and I would be perfectly comfortable in that situation we would not be comfortable with the possibility of what could be implied by others. Our first instinct is to protect our relationship/marriage and that means not putting ourselves into situations that can seem questionable. So the likelihood of us moving forward with a similar arrangement would be slim to none. That is by no means a reflection on our trust with one another but rather a reflection of the judgment of others. Sad, but true.

    Post # 7
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Ugh. Tough one. Personally, I’m not sure how I would feel if I was the traveller, let alone FH. I guess I’d have to deal with it when it came BUT I’ll admit, at face value, I would not be altogether comfortable with the idea, regardless of whether it was FH or myself.

    I don’t really want to share my “home” with a coworker. I don’t want to share TV’s, phones, bathrooms either with someone I’m not related to. I need my space, especially when outside of my own comfort zone.

    Further, how would I parade around half-dressed? Awkward.

    Post # 8
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Depends if there were separate bathrooms.  I wouldn’t love coming out of the bathroom after showering with a male coworker there.  Otherwise, as long as I got along with the coworker it wouldn’t be an problem.

    Post # 9
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    The other thread was easy for me to cast a vote, because frankly I think it’s insane to cut off your male friends or avoid being alone in the same room with a man just because you’re in a relationship. Living for someone for 3 weeks, though? I’m not sure. I had a male roommate in college, so I know that you can live with someone platonically. It’d just be hard to explain to my family why my husband was staying in an apartment with another woman. I guess a lot would depend on the amount of money we were saving. If the company was paying, or the difference was just a few hundred dollars, I’d want him to stay on his own. 

    Post # 10
    878 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I had three male room mates when SO and I started dating. If we I hadn’t gotten into grad school in our city, he would have moved in with a female friend. We are both alone with opposite sex friends multiple days a week. It would never bother us. 

    Post # 11
    1499 posts
    Bumble bee

    We have a relationship based on trust. If I felt like I needed to keep him away from other woman and that he couldn’t a few weeks being a roommate without whipping it out- we would not be getting married.

    Post # 12
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I chose the first option. We are having to do essentially the same thing here shortly. In a few weeks DH will be working about 3-4 hours away from our home, with a girlfriend of ours. They will be living in separate homes on the same property, but I have to stay back in town- I have a job that pays well and we couldn’t afford to give it up yet. I’ve got zero issues with it, except for not having my husband around as often as I want, but we’ve known her for years and had drunken sleepovers at our house & hers plenty times without anything getting awkward or anything like that… I know 100% neither of them would ever dream of anything happening- girl’s like our best friend & would put a smackdown on anyone that thought he was open game! =) 

    Post # 14
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Honestly, it depends on the coworker. If I felt she was funnier, more attractive, more interesting, more whatever than me, I would worry. if I thought she’d merely remind FI how much he misses me, I wouldn’t worry.

    Post # 15
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee

    eastcoaster:  It wouldn’t be an ideal choice for both of us, but if it was for work – it wouldn’t be a huge deal. I would probably prefer separate hotel rooms though. 

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