Post # 1
So that thread made my anxiety jump a bit.
I am having assigned seating with placecards, a plated dinner, and only enough tables and chairs in the reception area for the people who intend on coming.
What the fuck do I do if someone shows up that wasn’t invited, didn’t RSVP, or said No at first??
Post # 3
Most caters and venues expect that so they normally tell you to buy about 5 or 7 (depending on the size of the guest list) extra plates/chairs.
Post # 4
I had that too, 2 guests that never RSVP nor returned my calls so I assumed they wouldn’t show. Well they did. Banquet staff had no problem bringing out 2 extra plates. But seating was thrown off since they sat on someone else’s place. Was annoyed but issue quickly fixed.
Post # 5
Just like people show up without RSVPing, chances are some people who RSPVd won’t show. It will be fine.
Post # 6
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: i wouldn’t worry too much. venues always have a few extra plates on hand just incase. not just for unexpected guests but in case an issue happens in the kitchen. eg. server falls with 4 plates in hand. grandma doesn’t want gravy “on” her beef.
Post # 7
If you call all of your non RSVP’ers this shouldn’t be too big of a problem. We had a couple of instances with our girls’ weddings where we couldn’t get a hold of the guests and they wouldn’t return our calls. My final message went something like this, “Hi Gertrude, it’s hermom again. I was calling to see if you are able to attend Sugar Britches wedding. We have to turn our final numbers into the caterer by Monday morning. If I haven’t heard from you by then, we will put you down as not attending but we would love to get together later on to show you pictures and have dinner. Thanks. Bye.”
Post # 8
At my wedding, I did not have any problems at all with people showing up who had never sent in the RSVP, or who had said they were not coming. It helped that I made some phone calls and checked with people. Had a close friend who I assumed was coming, but who had not sent back the RSVP as the deadline neared. So I asked. Same with a close relative. I asked, and she said, “
Oh yes, we are all coming. Didn’t I send the little card back?” (She hadn’t.)
The problem is, people get the card, and it says they have so many weeks to respond. So they set it aside, meaning to send it in.
What DID happen to me, however, is that
nine people (out of 54) who had said they were coming did not show up. We still had a wonderful day; the room did not look empty, and I did not let it bother me too much. This must happen at every wedding.
We had invited one couple, addressing the invitation just to the couple, not their three children. When we received the RSVP, they had listed five people as coming, including their children. We decided not to make a big deal a lot of it, and let them bring their kids, rather than explain that we had intended it to be adults only. On the day of the wedding, NONE of them came!
Post # 9
@Carolsays: Yea….if that happened to me I wouldn’t know how to act “polite” I would want to get on the phone and ask them what happened.
Did you even hear from them after that? What happened?
Post # 10
Honestly, I think if someone RSVPs ‘no’ and then shows up, it’s not your responsability to make sure they have a seat and are fed. I don’t know why anyone would expect to be if they said they aren’t coming. Want to eat and have a place to sit at my wedding? Tell me you’ll be there. Say you aren’t coming and decide to show up? Expect to stand in a corner hungry all day.
Post # 11
We had half of a table (2 couples) not show up that had RSVPed “yes”. The venue also had made an extra couple of plates just in case we had some unexpected guests, so the extra meals were then given out to other guests who wanted more (one of my BMs included, lol).
Post # 12
We had no issues with people showing up after RSVPing no or not being invited in the first place. Regardless, our caterer had 10% extra dishware, chairs, and food prepared just in case.
Post # 13
Yes, I did hear from them. The wife stopped by a couple of days after the wedding (she is a neighbor). She said that she had been stricken with food poisoning and then while she was recovering, she had passed out in the shower.
No way to know if that’s true, and my husband did not want me to make an issue out of it. it sounded far-fetched, but who knows? They are neighbors and we will get along with them.
Ny wedding was perfect in so many ways, that even something like this doesn’t really get to me. I am happy that I can warn others about the no-shows. I really expected everyone to come.
I don’t how common this problem is. A good friend of minesaid they ran into it at her sister’s wedding. Out of 200 expected guests, about 20 did not show.
Post # 14
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: In the most gracious manner that anything has ever been done, you assure that the couple is seated and have everything that they need. For years people will talk about how rude it was of them to show up, and what a marvellous hostess you were in accomodating them. That’s called winning.
Post # 15
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: For one thing, make sure you follow up with anyone who doesn’t RSVP. It’s possoble they thought they sent the card back and didn’t, or something like that.
It’s prudent to have a couple of extra spots available. Or you could just hope for the best and know that it’s also possible that one or two people won’t show up, so that will balance things.
Post # 16
We followed up with people that didn’t RSVP just to make certain they would or would not be attending. We ended up having nine people not show up the day of and one show up that RSVP’d no. Our caterer made 5% more than we paid for to cover such instances so it was no big deal. Still pisses me off we wasted money on those nine plates but what can you do?