(Closed) SPINOFF POLL: Would you want to know if you were cheated on (one-time thing)?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Would you want to know about your partner's one time infidelity?
    YES - S/he better tell me! : (99 votes)
    51 %
    NO - S/he better suffer with the guilt and keep me out of it. : (72 votes)
    37 %
    ?? - This is making me cry just thinking about it, I can't decide. : (22 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Nope.  I want them to live with the guilt, not offload it onto me so they can feel a little better about getting it off their chest.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    No I would not. I’m with you- ignorance is bliss. The guilt would be enough punishment for him, and I would remain happy. Once you know something like that you can never unknow (or forget) it, even if you forgive.

    Post # 5
    Member
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Glad I’m not alone in this. What I don’t know can’t hurt me. But I would hope he suffers with guilt. He wouldn’t deserve to feel better for telling me. He would ruin everything because I couldn’t forgive that.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1815 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Hell yes I would want to know. Would it hurt? Absolutely. But if you’re going to have the audacity to do it, you better have the balls to tell me. To people saying it would only hurt your relationship, doesn’t the cheating hurt the relationship? That’s not a relationship I’d necessarily like to be apart of, because we clearly don’t value our relationship the same way. I would have a lot of thinking and crying to do.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1815 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @futuremrsk18:  I’d want to know so I can make the decision. Depending on what was done would determine if I would want to stay or leave. He made his decision to cheat, I get to decide if that’s something I can live with.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2810 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    As long as I’m not being put at risk and it was a one-timer that would never happen again, I would not want to know.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would want to know.  If my SO cheated on me it would mean there was something seriously wrong with the relationship, even if it was a drunken one time thing.  I wouldn’t automatically break up with him, but we would have to reevaluate our relationship.

    Post # 11
    Member
    586 posts
    Busy bee

    Hell yes I would want to know!!! I want to know the character and actions of the person I am spending my life with. I’d rather know and be single than not know and be tied to someone who doesn’t really love and respect me, damn straight I would. 😉

    Post # 12
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    The lie is worse than the cheating to me.

    The cheating was a one-time thing, but the lie is every single day, moment, etc. that he doesn’t tell me. That kind of betrayal I can’t handle. 

    I can’t say whether or not it would end the relationship, because I’m not in that position. If he had sex with someone else right now? Yes, I would leave. We’re not married yet, we have no kids, there is no reason for me to stay. Later in life the factors may change. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1250 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    I would definitely not want to know!!  However, I know that DH would tell me if he did, because he believes that secrets are bad.   

    Post # 14
    Member
    2782 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Heck no. The only way I want to know is if my health is at risk and he contracted something from it in the process, or if it an ongoing affair. Otherwise, a one-time thing that will never happen again, telling me is going to be bad.

    All telling me would do, is hurt me and make me never fully trust him again, so strippers and porn? Yeah that would no longer be ok. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    4695 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @AnneTossy:  I agree with you 100%. 

    It blows my mind how many people would rather remain ignorant.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1815 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @drummerbride:  ‘All telling me would do, is hurt me and make me never fully trust him again‘ – AS IT SHOULD BE, because that mother effer cheated on you! He doesn’t deserve to be trusted.

    (I don’t mean this personally to you, DrummerBride, I’m just trying to explain my point of view on the matter)

    The topic ‘SPINOFF POLL: Would you want to know if you were cheated on (one-time thing)?’ is closed to new replies.

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