(Closed) SPINOFF: Potluck instead of "cover your plate"

posted 5 years ago in Food
Post # 3
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

haha, I think it would be fun. The only problem would be the logistics, where would everything go, how would everyone be served since everthing would be different, etc. I love potlucks though, mmm! Im always surprised by how well people can cook (or have perfected the one recipe they can cook :P)


Post # 5
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wanted to do a potluck dinner but the logistics weren’t there. Too many people were traveling and there is one person with very serious allergies.

Post # 6
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

Hmmm…it depends.

If it’s an intimate, low-key wedding, I think it’s a beautiful way to add to the close-knit, collegial feel of the affair. I attended a laid-back but upscale wedding where the bride asked her closest friends each to make a dessert (to add more of a personalised touch to her more intimate wedding), and it was a huge hit. 

But if it was a “standard” wedding…I think it ventures too far into the cheap/tacky arena for me (esp. since cassoroles are not common amongst my friends/social circle).  It would seem rather uncouth and gift-grabby to throw a 250-person wedding but have people bring their own food.

Post # 7
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I don’t think it’s offensive at ask at all, and I don’t think it’s cheap or tacky either.  I think logistics-wise it would be much better at smaller and more intimate weddings, though. 

Post # 8
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think if it’s a causal backyard type wedding it’s a lovely thought, logistics as PP have mentioned could be tricky but if everyone is local and is happy to bring a dish it makes it feel like everyone’s family and woudl be fun.

Post # 9
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Lol, Etiquette Snob here…

Ok traditionally, Pot Lucks are seen to be a no-no for a Wedding for a variety of reasons…

1- A Wedding no matter how casual, is still a formal occasion… and as such the Hosts should be hosting the Guests not asking them to “bring something”.  Your Reception is supposed to be a Thank You to your Guests for Sharing in Your Big Day (not an obligation)

2- Bringing food to a Wedding can be a royal PITA… the logistics are almost always problematic, because of the time frame invoved… Arriving – Ceremony – Pictures – Then Food

3- Timeframe also means there could be potential issues with the quality of the food.  Food should be kept at an ideal temperature before being served… usually places that one would have a group meal (Back Yard, Church Hall, etc) don`t have the facilities to keep a lot of dishes at their optimum temperatures

4- Because of # 3 above, most Venues will not let you just bring in your own food from an Unlicensed Vendor (usually has to do with the Licensing of the Venue, and local Health Inspection Laws)

5- EXPECTING your Guests to bring a gift… even if it is a gift of food… is seen as being Gift Grabby & Needy.  Something a Wedding should never appear to be it is a Celebration and NOT A FUNDRAISER

6- And lastly, you will inevitably p!ss off some guests… they will find the whole endeavor to be a lot of work… and you should not be inconveniencing your Guests (first rule of being a Good Considerate Host).

Lol, on the “reality” side of things… youll find that having a Pot Luck where you expect the Guests to contribute (vs a meal that someone caters be that a company at a venue, or a relative for a backyard BBQ)... means that people will feel they have "done their share" even if it means all they brought was a jug of Lemonade.  So you wont get much in the way of Gifts be they Boxed Gifts or Cash Gifts.

All stuff to take into consideration before you say YES to a Pot Luck Wedding

Hope this helps,

PS… No one says a Wedding Reception has to be a big elaborate sit down meal event… there are lots of other great ways to hold a Reception that don`t cost a fortune.  All you really are required to provide traditionally is a “bite of cake” and a refreshing beverage … so if money is an issue, you can definitely have a Reception that fits the bill quite comfortably… it may not be what everyone else does… but it can still be a classy event.


Post # 10
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve been to a wedding like this, it was fun! Moderate size, probably around 100 people, they said in lieu of a gift please bring a dish and it was great. There was SOME catered food, but only a main dish (big fat tamales in this case) and everyone else brought the sides and desserts! 🙂

Post # 11
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

This would NOT fly where I live. I’ve never heard of it, and would not participate. “Here, come to my party, BYO food!” what…

Post # 12
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

A host should actually host, not depend on guests to do the job for them.

Post # 14
1407 posts
Bumble bee

I would be afraid of food poisoning and I wouldn’t eat.  

Post # 15
7420 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lovekiss:  This. And Im wary of peoples hygenie and cleanliness of their homes. There was  guy I used to work with. We became friends. He would always bring in homemade baked goodies. Turns out he was a hoarder.


Post # 16
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’ve been to a couple and see them as no big deal…

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