Weddingbee boards

Okay, I already posted before about FBIL inviting people to our wedding, yada yada. I wouldn't say those issues are resolved, but I am trying to move on from that. My problem now is that we are having a small (maybe 20-25 people) destination wedding out of the country. We spoke with close fam and people we wanted to invite about the resort we were looking at. We had not booked it, but were very interested in it. We wanted no children at our wedding. So, we asked everyone with children basically what they thought about that, would it be a problem, etc. Every single person said no problem. So we booked our trip and wedding. So have over half of our guests. Long story short.....FBIL, his wife,  and some other "guests" are staying at a villa rather than our resort. I say "guests" because they are people he invited to our wedding, not us. Ok, so that's all good, but he KNOWS there are no children allowed at our resort and that means not even for weddings. So, we have told him this (before we even booked it) repeatedly. It has to be about 8 times now. I have also talked to his wife about it. It's on our wedding website. BUT, they are saying they are bringing both children (very young, one being an infant). Okay, so we are asking them if they have a sitter for the time they are at the wedding, and they say no. Everytime this comes up, they act like its brand new news and they are in shock or something. It's weird. I mean, they know. Like they seriously know. No kids allowed! Hello?? FBIL says, "REALLY??? Even for the wedding?!" OMG!

Someone please help me out. I am at a loss. These people are a real situation. I told FBIL's wife the other night at dinner in a polite way (again) that no children are allowed in the resort. I really felt like she did not take me seriously and almost just shrugged it off. She said, "Yeah I know." But I really didn't feel that she cared what I was saying.

I just KNOW they are going to show up at our resort on wedding day with 2 little ones (and 4 uninvited guests). What do I do? I am thinking of inviting the 4 uninviteds to solve that problem. lol. Since they have already told us in person that they are coming (we never invited them). My real issue is the kids. I can't even tell you how diesrespected i feel now, let alone how I might feel on my wedding day if I walk down the isle and see the kids. I will just know they had to throw a huge fit and do who knows what to get them in. Or (best case) they will be turned away and miss our wedding. This would be devestating to us but feel like they would really deserve it for being so inconsiderate and disrespectful on our wedding day.

Does anyone have any clue what the hotel would do if they showed up with one and possibly 2 children at an adults-ony (18 yr and up) resort? Do you think they would be turned away? Even if they made a huge deal and throuh a fit about it? Or do you think the hotel would let them in? And also, do you think if I told the wedding coordinator not to let them in with children that would be out of line? and do you think she would do it?

Or does anyone have any other suggestions? I feel panicked about this. I know it sounds crazy but I seriously think their plan is to show up with kids and wing it.

No worries. I expected the kids to be with a sitter in the US. That is where they said the children would be to begin with! That is what I was saying, we contacted eveyone with children to see if they thought there would be any problem and if they would have someone to watch the children. There are 3 couples that we invited who have children. We let those three couples know that we have a few resorts picked out, but one was adults only. They all agreed that they would enjoy it and have no problems finding someone to watch the children.

I really feel like the bottom line is that if this were going to be a problem with this couple (FBIL) then they should have said something. I will add that they do travel extensively and have never taken the children anywhere. They said that his wife's parents would watch the children as they always do.

Just to be clear, this is NOT an issue of the couple not having a babysitter. That is absolutely not the problem here. They could have one in a second. The issue is exactly as I stated in original post.

@julies-Okay thank you. That is sort of what I was thinking. The wedding is not until May, so we were thinking about waiting another few weeks and bring it up again, but it's already been going on for a while and I just don't see a change in the future. It's just really bad because it's FI's brother and so it just makes it really awkward! I have thought exactly what you said about them not respecting us, as well as the rules of the resort! My stomach is in knots over this and I know my fiance is also feeling very upset. I am trying not to really bring it up to him because I know it makes him sad and sort of feel like they don't care about our special day.

I told FBIL just 2 nights ago when we had dinner that I contacted the hotel and that they told me that no children would be allowed to enter the resort(although he already knew). He keeps pretending that he doesn't know this information.

As far as them inviting his wife's family to our wedding, I don't even know what to say. We saw her younger sister and she was asking us what we would be having as menu options, etc. then saying she didn't care, she will eat whatever we serve.This is just so weird. I want to laugh and cry at the same time. I sort of feel like it just can't be real.

I'm trying to be as polite to them as possible, but they are making it hard at this point. Thank you for the advice! I will certainly take it into consideration.