Spinoff- Rude or Not – Head Table

posted 3 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Head Tables are
    Rude! : (33 votes)
    19 %
    not rude : (115 votes)
    66 %
    It is rude not to have a head table : (8 votes)
    5 %
    Other : (19 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    4440 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think it should have “other” because a head table not allowing SO’s is rude (in my opinion).  I had a BP table and it consisted of SO’s and I don’t see the trouble in sitting everyone together or having 2 tables if your BP is big.  If it’s not THAT big of a deal to seperate, then it shouldn’t be a big deal to combine? I don’t see the issue.


    Post # 4
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Asking their bridal party to spend time with THEM on THEIR wedding day is not rude.


    I don’t like them because I like spending time with my FI and such, but they aren’t rude. The BP agreed to be in the wedding, and that includes sitting with the bride and groom at the reception.

    ETA: I am having one but including the dates of my BP. I don’t feel obligated to do it, but I am friends with most of the SOs anyways and I like them and I want my BP to stay at the head table.


    Post # 5
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    i was also BAFFLED by this! is it also rude to ask your girlfriend out for dinner on a saturday night and not include her fiance? i just don’t understand. i think that’s what you sign up for when you agree to be a bridesmaid and i personally quite enjoy the time at the head table with just the girls when i’m a bridesmaid. i’ve done it three times and since they’re one of my BEST friends, i am happy to do just about anything for them. i would be appalled if one of my besties thought i was rude for not letting him sit with their significant other for an hour of the evening. THAT is rude to me.

    i think the idea of having the SOs up at the head table is nice in theory but we have 5 groomsmen & 6 bridesmaids. it would have been ridiculous, in my opinion to have a head table of like 30 people. and then it also highlights those that are single and that might be considered rude. you can’t win.

    Post # 7
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    The bride and groom are asking you to sit with them for a whopping 1-2 hours for dinner/toasts.

    SO not rude! Totally normal! The rest of the reception (and when DH and I were up talking to guests), or BP left the head table and went to sit wherever they wanted!

    Post # 8
    11598 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s a matter of preference, not a matter of rudeness.

    I prefer head tables.  I think it’s traditional, and I am very traditional.  I don’t like the idea of a sweetheart table.  But hey, at my wedding, we did what I wanted (head table) and you can do what you want at yours.  Where people are seated isn’t a rudeness issue.

    Post # 9
    8677 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Nope. Your significant others will survive without you for a couple hours. You’re in my bridal party, you can deal with sitting with me and my friends for a while.

    If you can’t and absolutely must be with your SO at all times, then maybe I need to reconsider my position on why I allowed you in the bridal party.

    Post # 10
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @mu_t:  Luckily we have a small BP and some of our GMs are already engaged to my BMs, so that cuts down as well. Our head table will be 14 people total, which I think is fine.

    Post # 11
    4729 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Is it rude? Well no. Inconsiderate? Yes.

    Of course I’m of the camp that “if that’s what the bride/groom want, you just do it”. It’s not the end of the world to not sit with your spouse or partner during dinner.

    That being said, at every wedding I’ve attended (and I’m a wedding photographer, so that’s a lot…as the photographer, as a guest, and as a member or bridal party) the bride/groom eat their dinner and then they’re up to greet their guests. I just don’t understand the point of a head table. Usually it’s long, so no one is really able to chat and enjoy each other’s company. I don’t need to be recognized as a person of honor at a wedding, I’m perfectly happy to let the couple shine. I’d rather sit at a table where I’m able to chat and socialize during dinner.

    For me, we did a sweetheart table. I’m sure some people will find those rude. For us it came down to two factors….. 1.) We both have divorced parents, and so the traditional “sitting with your parents” just wasn’t an option, and 2.) We ended up REALLY enjoying that quiet time with just us at our table to chat and be together….we didn’t get much of that time the whole day except for dinner.

    Post # 12
    8387 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m going to go against the grain here and say that I think they’re rude when they don’t include dates.  My reasoning behind this is similar to inviting people as a social unit, in the same way that inviting one person from an engaged couple is rude.  To me, when a host of hostess puts their wants before the comfort of their guests, they’re being rude.

    Post # 13
    5460 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I don’t think it’s necessarily RUDE, but they are kind of a pain.

    Post # 14
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We had a top table with just us and our parents. We had 2 best men who came from overseas with their wives and who didn’t know anyone and my sister was the only BM and didn’t want to sit with us as she felt a bit too “on display”, especially as she’s single. She sat with other family members and was much more comfortable. We just made sure the best men were in a place where everyone could see them for the speeches. Though in a room of 44 people it’s not easy to hide anyone!

    Post # 15
    825 posts
    Busy bee

    Is it my preference? No. Will we be having one at our wedding? No (we’ll have a King Arthur table where SO’s sit with us too.) Is it rude? NO.

    People who are in a bridal party with SO’s are adults. If you can’t figure out what to talk to another 7 human beings about for an hour, most of which is spent with other people talking (toasts) and putting food in your mouth, I’m not sure what your date sees in you.

    Post # 16
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Eh, they’re good for the photographer. I always thought that was the purpose. 

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