Spinoff: Should parents be responsible for their child's damage?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should parents be held responsible for their child's damage?
    Yes : (185 votes)
    50 %
    No : (4 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, but it would be rude to call them out if they don't offer up repayment : (59 votes)
    16 %
    Yes and you SHOULD be able to call them out or ask for repayment : (124 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 3
    3673 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Absolutely. In this case (as far as I remember) the kid was a toddler and probably didn’t know any better. If you’re the adult, BE THE ADULT and take responsibility for it by a) offering to reimburse for/replace the cake, and b) teaching your kid to wait his turn to get cake instead of grabbing a handful of it.

    Post # 4
    53 posts
    Worker bee

    Things happen, but that doesn’t mean you get to just brush it off and not pay for damage. If an adult did it and should pay for it, so should the parent.

    Post # 5
    1472 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @TattedNYBride:  I didn’t see the thread, but I certainly would pay to replace something my child broke in a friend or family member’s home (well, I’d at least offer). I’d also work to try to prevent the damage in the first place (by asking whether there is anything I should warn my child about, by creating rules and boundaries for where my child can play, and by keeping an eye on my child, so that hopefully he/she wouldn’t break anything.)



    Post # 6
    4395 posts
    Honey bee

    Hell yes! (you should add a poll)

    Post # 8
    2132 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Yes absolutely. If the parent isn’t responsible, who is? If the parent doesn’t pay for it, it’s up to the owner of the destroyed property to pay to replace it, and it’s certainly not their fault. 

    I think that it should be ok to call them out, because otherwise rude people can just do whatever they want & take advantage of others’ politeness. 

    Post # 9
    1779 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 1997

    @TattedNYBride:  absolutely. That woman should have apologized profusely and offered to pay/replace the cake. 

    Post # 11
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @TattedNYBride:  Oh wow, my thread has a spinoff! I’m genuinely pleased about this. I think it will be interesting to make a real life situation into a hypothetical one where people might be less afraid to make what they think is the right decision without being accused of being impolite. I urge anybody who might not have seen the original to answer this before you go to the first thread. 

    Obviously I feel that a parent should always be responsible for their child’s damage. You should always be responsible for your child and I don’t feel the need to tiptoe around asshole parents, they’re the ones in the wrong. You shouldn’t enable people to do bad things or raise bad people and I think that us standing up to this woman was absolutely the right thing to do. I doubt that she’ll learn any kind of moral lesson from it, but at least now she knows that my fellow BMs/friends and I, as people, don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour. 


    Post # 12
    3077 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    10000% yes. They are YOUR responsibility, they break YOU buy. period.

    Post # 13
    2189 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Yes. I have a three year old boy. And I hold his hand if there is something breakable/something he would try to get into near by. Or he gets the tone of voice that lets him know to stop. Like with the cake I would have told him right away “we do not touch this!, be VERY careful around this.” and he would. I do the same when he is around breakables in someones house or little babies. It is SO embarrassing when your kid has a fit/does something bad in front of people. But I apologize for everything, if he’s being whiney/cranky, runs into someone, etc. If he broke something I would try to replace it to the best of my financial ability.

    I know people who’s kids ages 2+ act like total brats, knock stuff over, get into everything, pull the dogs/cats tails or hair, hit people, etc and they just shrug it off or chuckle like it’s cute. I really think that’s just not parenting, you buy the kid everything in the world but if your not doing your job as a parent.


    Post # 14
    4540 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

    Yup. You should always offer to pay for something your child broke. 

    Post # 15
    2912 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Yes. If your child didn’t break it then it wouldn’t be broken. Why should anyone else pay for whatever damage was caused?

    Post # 16
    9092 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    i think yes, most of the time.

    The only exception might be if I felt like the person whose item it was was somewhat negligent themselves.  Example: I have a little cousin that likes to carry a purse, and feels very grown up if you let her carry your keys/some coin kind of thing.  We also have a pool, and she sometimes takes said purse in there with her.  Another cousin gave her a cell phone to put in her purse, and of course she went swimming with it.  In that case I kind of think… if you give a three year old your cell phone while she’s swimming… that’s on you.

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