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Today at the gym I was doing my normal Wednesday workout of my heavier lifting and bit of cardio, when a woman, out of nowhere, comes up to me and goes on a tirade about how it's "my fault" young girls die every day from anorexia and I am ruining the futures of so many with body issues.
Yes! Single handedly I am destroying women everywhere! Muahahahaha.
Ok but seriously though, that hurts. I know bigger people hate it when people make comments about their weight, it doesn't feel any better when people make comments about mine. I don't see how me working out is destroying anyone.
In my family I am an alien. I get a lot of those "you are anorexic and look absolutely disgusting" comments from them, I don't need it from strangers.
I am not anorexic. I don't even look it. I just don't get why it is ok for people to say things like this to me because I'm working out.
I try not to judge. I find very beautiful people in every shape, size and age and I have a lot of respect for bigger people hitting the gym because it can be embarrassing for some. I just don't get it.
What asinine thing has been thrown your way bees?
Oh hunny, I am sorry! I wonder what rotten thing happened to her today to make her be so horrible to a stranger?!?
***HUGS***
Oh wow, I am so sorry. That is so ridiculous, I probably would have given her a "wtf?" look and then went to the bathroom and cried. I'm so so sorry. Very disrespectful to say that to anyone!
can you hang out at my gym - i need some of those vibes that you are apparenty sending out to the universe.... did i mention i once took chocoate cake to a personal training session so i could eat it while riding the bike
@Corilee13: That's when you tell her to fuck off. Your weight and health are none of her business and she shouldn't be projecting whatever body images and jealousy she has onto you and the collective "young girls."
Finally! The cause of anorexia has been found! ;)
I probably would have flipped my shit if she'd said something like that to me! Congrats for not being incarcerated right now!!
I don't think I could have resisted the urge to knock her out with a dumbell... seems like it would be appropriate.
I know. My plot had been discovered. I've been regularly working out just to bring about the destruction of the youth of the world.
Thank you all for being supportive. I was less than nice to her, but I did not end up in jail, but who knows, tomorrow I could be responsible for nuclear war somehow and wipe out half the world.
I ate an entire pumpkin pie after working out once...or twice...or two days ago, whatever.
I have never, or will never, find it appropriate to comment on someone's weight whether they are big or small. That is just ridiculous! And what if you were one of the millions of Americans suffering from an eating disorder? Would that have made her feel good to call you out on it? Seriously?
@Corilee13: you just made me for real laugh out loud in front of my boyfriend and his friend. especially the pumpkin pie comment. bahahaha.
but seriously. did you ask her why she was at the gym?
woah, that sucks.
When I was losing weight I remember getting seriously annoyed by all the comments. I felt like Alice in Wonderland with everyone commenting on my shrinking. Even when people mean it in a nice way it gets annoying, I can't even fathom someone freaking out on me like that!
I've gotten something along those lines before as well, though not at the gym :/ and it used to make me feel so bad about myself too. I went through a period of really unhealthy eating because I felt so bad about people commenting on how skinny I was, and I wanted curves. I'm not anorexic people, nor do I look anorexic, and it is very hurtful to be called anorexic! People should just never comment on another person's weight, unless it's to say that they look awesome :D
This is not the first time it's happened to me either, just the first time in a crowded gym where people were watching. My ex's family used to say how rude I was for going to the gym and working out when I don't need to lose weight and how I made them all feel horrible. I just invited them to come with me if they felt so horrible. I never once made fun of their weight but they kept telling me it was horrible for them to know I went to the gym.
I will attempt to keep you out of my path of destruction but I make no promises. I kind of have a wide range.
@Corilee13: How utterly idiotic! Going to the gym isn't necessarily about losing weight; it's about being fit and healthy. That woman must have a fairly screwed up relationship with her body if that's all she thinks exercise is about!
Wow, I am like SO pissed off for you right now. I would have slapped that you know what right across her face! People are just jealous of good looking people. And you can be skinny and go to the gym - it's not all about losing weight. It's about being healthy and happy.
@Corilee13:That is awful! I am so sorry that she said that to you. I wonder if she realizes how damaging that was?
The first time someone called me anorexic, it was actually my cousin--at the Thanksgiving table! ALL my aunts immediately jumped on him! LOL. My whole family runs very tiny until about ago 20 when we all magically plump up to normal or normal +5 pounds. I was still in the tiny stage and I was so hurt. I don't think he realized it was *as* hurtful as it was.
It bothers me that the gym isn't a safe place to go! I often go to the gym for motivation because there are *always* people bigger than me AND people smaller than me and we're all there to work on ourselves. To feel better about ourselves. And maybe to sweat out some anger from the day. To me, the gym is a "happy place." I'm sorry she ruined it for you that day. I hope you still go back to your gym!
Wow, what an awful thing to say to someone! Why would anyone ever say anything like that to a complete stranger?
A few months ago I was really sick (not an eating disorder or anything like that) and ended up losing a lot of weight because of it. Even though I was making an effort to gain the weight back, some of my friends and family, who knew the situation, kept commenting on how I was 'too skinny' and 'wasn't eating enough,' etc. It drove me crazy because I was forcing myself to overeat every day, and they were making me feel like it was my fault I was too thin. Unless you know for sure that someone has very unhealthy habits you should NEVER comment on their weight, and even then you should only do it in the most supportive way possible.
@Nicoley1985:Exactly. I'm not trying to lose anything. If anything I am trying to gain weight by adding muscle mass to my upper body (I'm sick of not being able to lift heavy things).
@PasteMoo:I will still go to my gym. I like it there. I just can't stand the mentality of because I'm skinny I'm not allowed to go to the gym or eat healthy, I need to be shoving my face full of cheese burgers. A lot of people act that way. My family acts that way. The women in my family are all about 5'4"-5'6" and over 200lbs. I'm an alien at 5'8" and 125, so they are constantly saying how sick I look. I don't get called anorexic anymore, I get called disgusting.
I just don't get why this is any more ok to some people than making fun of someone for being heavy. If I had walked up to that lady and made fun of her for being bigger I would have been kicked out of my gym for harrassment. Bu ther, oh no, I'm not allowed to be hurt because I'm thin...
If your plan is to kill of the youth of the world through healthy eating and exercise you're not doing a very good job. Besides, obesity causes a lotttttt more deaths than anorexia.
You didn't comment on her figure, I dunno why she thought she had the right to comment on yours...
I know EXACTLY how you feel! I'm 5'7 and 118lbs (I was 125lbs but summer heat and stress makes weight fall off me).
I don't look anorexic by any means, just lean. All I ever hear from my (bigger) friends is how sick I look and how ugly thin brides look in wedding pictures.
As if the stress of planning a wedding isn't stressful enough! 
I would say "just ignore it" but I know its easier said than done. I've actually lost sleep over such hurtful comments before.
UGH that is infuriating. Do what is right for you, you have great restraint not punching the lady in the throat.
I feel ya though. I'm about 130lbs at 5'4" and am closing in on my goal of 125 - I've lost about 10lbs in the last 6 weeks, and last night, my parents came over for dinner. My dad looked at me and said "You're getting too skinny." I just looked at him and said "ummm... sorry?" with this incredulous tone in my voice, like really? then my mom looks at him and goes "Yeah, and she's still trying to lose more!" I'm fit, not skinny, and am developing good definition/muscles. I feel stronger and healthier than I have been in years.
@Corilee13: She's obviously just jealous. Maybe even taking it as far as to try to make you not want to come back to that gym. That right there would make me want to continue going... and work out right next to her. lol
Okay, first of all people don't just go to the gym to lose weight. Working out gives you energy and with wedding planning, you need all the energy you can get. Also working out makes you healthy. There are skinny people out there who are not healthy because they eat unhealthy things or have other health issues that you will never know about and there are people who may be a little bit bigger, but work out and take care of themselves. There are just some things like your size that isn't always in your control. I am average size and I know I will never be little because I don't have those genes. This woman is ignorant and knows nothing about you. Clearly she is unhappy with herself and tries to make others feel bad so she can feel better about herself. So sad.
Keep on working out because it is good for you. And try not to let an ignorant woman irritate you.
I have to throw this out there, my FH is 5' 8" and 145, he has to fight for every pound to say the least. Anyway, it drives him crazy when people comment on it because, reality is, he is healthy. Does he wish he was closer to 175 pounds? Yep. Does anybody have a right to remind him he's not? Nope. Do they deserve to be knocked out if they share an unwanted opinion? ABSOLUTLY! I am a plus sized girl, and I get comments all the time but ya know, I think I am able to roll it off easier than most of my smaller friends.
@Fixin2BMrs.Awesome:I knew I guy like that but he was 6'4" and I swear weighed as much as I do. People made the nastiest comments towards him. He had a thyroid issue and, like your FI, had to fight just to keep from getting even smaller. People shouldn't make comments no matter the weight. Being made fun of sucks no matter what. On an up note though, some of the most beautiful women in the world in my opinion are plus sized so you should let it roll off and rock your curves. :) On another awesome note, did you know we are only 30 minutes apart :P
This is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever read… Small people still need to work out! Working out is not just about losing weight, it is about getting in shape. Some people do not think before they speak and who is she to confront the woman that is causing anorexia…lol, what an idiot!! I am sorry that you had to deal with that!
I think there are some people who just don't understand that there is a difference between "sick/skinny" and "fit/slim" - this woman sounds ignorant and needs to get a life!
I am so glad to find this post! I've dealt with this bs since the 4th grade. YES! I said, 4th grade. THe first underhanded remark about my weight was from a teacher who shoved three pieces of bread on my tray and said you need to eat these, doesn't your mother feed you?
A few years ago at work, my boss stopped me in the hall (privately, at least) and told me I looked anorexic. Ouch. After that, a well-meaning coworker began bringing me meals. I was mortified. And I started thinking, good lord, do I really look that bad?
I hve always been thin- the joke in my family is that my sisters got all the curves. I never developed hips or boobs and I have my dad's skinny legs. There isn't a receptive audience to complain about it, b/c most people deal with the opposite, but going through life with the body of an 11 yr old boy isn't exactly confidence boosting!
Being pregnant was great, b/c I was actually treated differently afterward with the baby weight... it's like I was in the club now, where I wasn't allowed before b/c I must have wanted to be so skinny before and how dare I? When I was a kid, my dad would take me bowling and there was a gym attached to the bowling alley... there was a woman who would work-out and then come into the bowling alley to buy milkshakes. I asked her why she was working out and eating ice cream, b/c I thought what everyone else thought... that working out= wanting to lose weight... and she said nope, she was trying to gain!
Anyway, not sure I added much to the conversation, but that's my experience. People need to back off and accept ALL types of bodies. Just because someone is super-skinny doesn't mean they choose to be that way! The prejudice goes both ways.
Someday, people will realize that fitness and healthy living are about personal health and wellness, not a desire to make numbers on a scale go up or down.
I was once turned away from a personal training program at a gym because I didn't fit the weight minimum. Yes, they told me that a person had to be X age, X height, and X weight to qualify for a trainer. Apparently my ex-dancer size-00 but untoned physique meant that I couldn't get 3 sessions of weight training. I was informed that the PTs were for people who "needed it more." So... there now exists a magical determining factor for who should work out and who shouldn't? I wrote a letter, demanded a refund, and left that place the next day.
I sympathize with anyone -- of any size -- who has received unsolicited negative body comments. We blame the media and Hollywood for poor body image, but I think it comes from pressure much closer to home.
People call Mr.D skinny all the time, and it really bothers him. Thus, it bothers me. They'll say things like, "what are you, 145lbs?" (for the record he's like 185lb and 6'3 - so a healthy bmi) and it's just really annoying. We don't go around calling people fat and saying "what are you, 394lbs?" - rude.
@BostonBaby: Wow, that's ridiculous. Personal trainers are the last people I'd think wouldn't understand that exercise isn't just for overweight people! Fitness is their job!!
@Corilee13: Forgive me if this has already been asked and answered (I read all the replies but am not totally awake yet): Did you complain to the management at your gym? That kind of behaviour shouldn't be tolerated by them - think of how many paying customers they will lose if that person goes around accusing all the slim people of being anorexic (or causing anorexia -wow).
What a shitty thing to do to somebody - I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
I would have said something snarky back to her about how if she worked out more she'd look as good as you too!
And btw I think people are 200x more concerened with skinny people being too skinny than about people being overweight. Friends think it's okay to say something if you lose weight but if you gain weight no one wants to be rude and say anything.
@Corilee13: Ugh I wanted to beat that lady just hearing your story. I totally understand where you're coming from....up until I was 20, I was really petite-- 5'4" and 115 lbs-- and i used to HATE how people would treat me like I was purposely being unhealthy! One time, I was shopping with a friend and when I went to show her something I had tried on, and she actually told me that I looked "disgusting" and "grossed her out" with the way clothes looked on me! SO freakin' insulting!
People don't realize that going to the gym is for HEALTH. Yes, losing weight is a great bonus if you're at a bigger size, but the ultimate goal is to be in shape and extend the quality of life-- something that all people can benefit from. Don't listen to her, and keep rockin' with your weight training! <3
I did try to say something to them and they said they couldn't really do anything since she is a paying customer just like I am. Alright, I kind of buy that a little (even if they have thrown people out before for something similar.
Then they killed it for themselves by saying they thought I should be flattered. She was basically upset about my thinness out of jealousy and they saw no reason for me to be upset. They also said that saying something to her it would make her feel bad about her own weight and since I don't know what it's like to be overweight (actually I do, I was a tiny child but in high school I ballooned up and then lost it again in college) that I should suck it up because she probably deals with a lot of negativity on a daily basis because of her weight and people don't treat me like that often because of my size.
Wow, I'm glad to know skinny people are immune to being treated like crap for our size. I should take all the nasty things people say and assume they are actually compliments.
I agree with you. If someone says they are concerned, even in a nice way, about your health because you are heavy they are automatically the most horrible person ever and should be shot. But when someone goes on a tirade about your weight being too low in their opinion and that you are horrible for it they get nothing and it's totally ok. I know for a fact that gym has 86'ed people for calling other members fat, I was there when they did it, but when the opposite happens they do nothing be berate me for being bothered by it. And if I say anything about this being discrimination based on weight I won't get anywhere because skinny people don't have to deal with anything apparently, no one ever says mean things to us...
If you are the cause of anorexia, then who is responsible for my love handles? I want to find them and give them an ear full!
@Corilee13: I've had about enough of this as well. I recently quit smoking (woohoo!), but then gained 12 pounds (booooo!) so I've been hitting the gym. I keep catching hell for working out because "I'm already too thin as it is," and I'm ready to punch the next person who says that to me.
I'm built rather similarly to you (5'9", 145 lbs) so I am by no means big, but right now I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life.....ever. No one feels good when they are at their heaviest, regardless of what that number might be. Am I big? No. Am I big for what I am used to? Yes...and I don't like it. I fully intend to get back down to 135-130 lbs and everyone else who thinks I'm already too skinny can suck it. Comments about weight hurt both ways.
/endrant
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