Post # 1
For those who responded to the previous post (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-can-i-ask-my-bf-to-get-rid-of-his-cats-i-hate-to) that they would never choose another person (including a BF who would turn into a FI and then husband) over their pet, what is your plan if your future kids are allergic?
Just curious 🙂
Post # 3
We’d give away the cat, I’m pretty sure. I couldn’t justify keeping the cat.
ETA – sorry, I didn’t reply to that thread that way.
Post # 4
My FI is allergic to everything and his parents had a german shepard. He got the shots which worked, but have since seemed to have worn off (I don’t kinow if this is possible, but he is allergic again?) therefore, when we decided to get a dog, it had to be something that didn’t shed. We got a bichon, so I don’t think our kids will be allergic to her, but if they are then we would likely look into getting them the shots.
Also I didn’t actually respond to the previous post!
Post # 5
@countrygirl62312: Kind of an aside, but yes, they absolutely can wear off. They’re supposed to last something like 15-20 years, but totally depends on the person.
I didn’t reply to the last thread, but I’m just not an animal person, so I don’t think my opinion counts, but I would get rid of a dog/cat in a second if my child were allergic (I also have terrible allergies, which is probably why I’m not an animal person…it’s like they know and torture me on purpose…)
Post # 6
We have had this discussion, as have FBIL and FSIL. FBIL and I are REALLY allergic to FMIL’s cat. Like many times I have had to tell FI that he has to cut this visit short or drive me to Walgreens to get allergy medicine (normally FBIL and I medicate before hand, but sometimes we forget or it wears off).
FBIL told his wife that the same policy for his mom’s cat goes for any future pets they get– he does not spend the night or extended period of time in a dwelling with a cat. As a stay at home dad, it is clear, there will be no cats in his house. If one of his 5 kids gets allergic, the rule would just get more enforced. He wouldn’t want a drugged up kid and the cat would go to his brother (not FI)
Luckily for me, FI hates cats. I have made it clear that I cannot take a cat into the house and we will never have one. I developed an allergy to my cat in 4th grade, lived with it for 6 years and then we got another cat (long story, but it was an accident that couldn’t be reverse and he is still here). I would never do that to my child or myself again.
However, if the cat is already in the house, I would do my best to tough it out if it were an old cat. If the kid’s allergies were as bad as mine were, I would do what my mom did and vaccum every day and keep the cat out of my room. She also had me shower twice a day and never whined about the price of my allergy pills. However, I would call FI’s brother and sisters and see if they would be interested. I wouldn’t give it to a shelter if they weren’t.
Post # 7
My dog is my life and it came first. I would give kids a shot or medicine or whatever but I am never getting rid of my dog. I am a huge dog person and not a kid person, so I might be bias.
Post # 8
I am severely allergic to all pets that shed…so I’m not interested in ever having pets. But if I did get a pet and my child was allergic I would most definitely get rid of the pet. Giving a small child shots so he/she can be around the animal is not ok in my opinion.
Post # 9
I would explore every avenue, but ultimately if the new baby is severely allergic to our cat, the cat is off to live with Auntie D! We’ve already established this backup plan so it’s not an “Off to the shelter” scenario. Kids come first, pets second.
Post # 10
I would try to find a new home for the animal. Until one was established, I would do my best to keep the baby and the pet as far away form eachother as possible, and make sure baby’s things are not contaminated with dander.
Post # 11
It would be a difficult decision. FI and I have two cats right now that we have both had for seven years. By the time we have children it will be even longer. If my children were allergic I would do my best to find a way to keep my pets, without subjecting the children to shots. Be it keep the pets in a separate part of the house or whatever to keep them. I wouldn’t bring new pets into the house.
I would find a new home for the pets at as a last resort to other options of segregating them from the kids. Fingers crossed I would never have to make that choice, because my cats are my family.
Post # 12
You should set up a poll! I’m curious about the percentage of answers. I’m also severely allergic to cats (also dogs, but dogs are tolerable and cats make me have insane allergic reactions. I once sneezed something like 42 times in a row, non stop. insane.) I’m so allergic that when I stayed with a friend for a week, she gave her two cats to her parents for the whole time I was there, even though I went planning to tough it out. But she said my constant sneezing and snotting and coughing and watery eyes were gross. heh. And that was WITH allergy pills.
Needless to say, I think that if someone develops allergy as severe as mine are (I start sneezing just when someone who has cats sits next to me, because the dander is on their clothes 90% of the time), I would absolutely say the family should do some due dligence to find another good home for the cat. NEVER a shelter…but there are family members, friends, coworkers, etc who would probably want a cat.
I would never, ever expect a child to get allergy shots to tolerate a pet. A child is more important than a pet, to me. My younger sister has a severe nut and egg allergy, and once she was born, the entire house went nut-free and egg-free. And was it hard to give up cakes and treats made with eggs as a kid? SURE, but my parents and the rest of my siblings never would have jeapordized my sister’s life and health by having them in the house when just rubbing them on her skin or having her breathe nut dust can send her into anaphalactic shock. I view severe pet allergies the same way—if you can find a good home, why wouldn’t you want your loved one to have the best health possible? I tried allergy shots for a while, but I had side effects that weren’t great—super dry mouth and dry eyes that required eye drops all the time and felt like a sore throat. Again, I wouldn’t want a SO to live that way for the rest of their lives.
But also, as other people have stated, it’s really best to parse these things out at the beginning of a relationship, not a year in. Since I already know I have severe allergies and I’m most definitely more of a kid person, not a pet person, I would never have dated someone who referred to their pets as kids in the first place.
Post # 13
Usually babies that are brought up with cats don’t develop allergies actually
If my child was severely allergic I guess I would have to rehome my cats with a family member
That said, as a kid I was allergic to cats–we had them anyway but they would sleep outdoors–as an adult I barely have symptoms unless one of them is sleeping on my face or something (it happens)
I don’t think it is your place to ask/tell your SO to get rid of his cats, but if you are truly suffering he should obv be aware of it. If banning the cats from the bedroom doesn’t do anything to alleviate your symptoms I would suggest taking on the task of finding an AMAZING home for them together. But if he’s not on board with it don’t push it so hard, that can be a dealbreaker for a lot of people.
I would never, ever, ever bring my cat to the shelter. That’s usually a death sentence.
Edit: Actually it looks like that’s a decision we may not have to make in the future as they have some sort of cat allergy vacciine now http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110331163534.htm
Post # 14
@sylvia.riggle: I would never, ever, ever bring my cat to the shelter. That’s usually a death sentence.
My family volunteers at our local shelter (we foster cats in our home) and I can assure you that it isn’t nearly that simple and depends greatly on where you live. Dozens of adult cats are adopted from our shelter every week, even older ones and disabled ones. Cats who are euthanized almost always have severe medical or behavioral issues.
(Not that I’d encourage anyone to give up a loved pet without a very good reason, and re-homing on your own to someone you know is definitely preferable.)
Post # 15
@Pollywog: Did vacuuming every day/taking allergy pills work well when you were a kid or did you still have some reactions to your cat?
@monique1218: DH and I are of the same mindset! I love our animals and DH is a year away from being a vet…but I just can’t imagine putting our kid through that. We’ve got homes arranged for our animals if anything would ever happen to us, so that’s who they’d go to if our kid was severly allergic. Fingers crossed that it’s never an issue though!
@KatyElle: Agree! We have the same back-up plan to avoid shelters.
@BookGirrl: Poll added 🙂 I agree– as an allergy sufferer myself, it sucks! I hate having to take meds for them and when I’m in a situation that I cannot avoid things that set my allergies off I’m completely miserable. I don’t want my kids to feel like that in their own home!
@sylvia.riggle: I wasn’t the OP on the original post, in fact, I didn’t even comment on that one 🙂 Thanks for your perspective!!
Post # 16
@Jijitattoo: I agree that it depends on the shelter. All of our pets have come from shelters, and we’ve been to several non-kill shelters. DH actually does a lot of volunteer work for two of the nearby county shelters and they do their very best to avoid unnecessary euthanization.