Spinoff: TTC when not financially stable

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@kfiorita:  Having a child is a huge financial responsibility and stressor. Being fully prepared for a baby may not be possible, but I would always want to be as financially stable as possible. I wouldn’t want the added stress of not being able to pay bills while caring for a new born. It is obviously a personal decision and unexpected pregnancies happen, but I consider waiting until one is fairly stable to be a sign of responsibility and maturity.

Post # 4
Member
13012 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Money isn’t everything a child needs, but it’s certainly something that would cause a lot of stress and problems if it’s missing.  If I were not stable enough to be sure I could eat a decent meal every day, how can I feed/cloth/etc a baby.  Day care takes money.  Doctors take money.  In order to ensure my child grows up in the best enviroment possible, yes, some sense of financial and general stability is best imo.

Post # 5
msjackrabbitMember
1080 posts
Bumble bee

I think it depends on what ‘financially stable’ is.

For some, it’s still being able to afford a mani/pedi and a brand new car. For others, it’s being able to pay the bills and have a roof over their head.

I think it’s important to be able to pay the bills. Life’s luxuries I could do without, but I would never purposefully have a baby if I couldn’t afford to pay for it myself.

I hate seeing people deliberately have kids so they can get a free house and free money from the government.

Post # 6
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it is very irresponsible for people to TTC when they aren’t financially able to care for a child. It really bothers me.

For me, having a child isn’t just to fufil my need to be a parent, but it is also to provide my child with the best life possible…and to me, having money to afford care and “extras” is a big deal. I don’t want my child to simply exist.

 

Post # 8
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Having a child when you aren’t financially stable really irks me. We made sure that we could give our child what it needs. For instance, my friend wants a baby when she struggled to come up with just a few bucks for her wedding. Plus she owns a farm, horses, chicken, ducks, has a home with mold that needs redoing, one pickup that works only half the way (that they are still paying off), student loans and many other things. I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve a baby, but there are priorities that need to be taken care of because you decide to bring a baby into the world. Babies are expensive. Sure you probably get a lot of stuff taken crae of by the grandparents and registry from the baby shower, but daycare is outrageous, medical bills, etc.

It is important to me to bring a child into a fianncially stable home where mom and dad aren’t arguing about money.

Post # 9
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yea I agree some people have two very different ideas of what it means to be “financially stable” It could mean having money in savings, having the free money each month, being able to live on one income instead of 2, being debt free, or having a stable good paying job.

For us we want to have the free money at the end of the month and just be in control of our money. I don’t want to have to worry about buying a crib or buying that cute baby outfit. And I certainly don’t want to still be paying the hospital bills when they are one.

Post # 11
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@kfiorita:  a baby costs about $30,000 the first year and $244,000 total through the child being 18.

would you want a baby when you are finacially unstable?

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@kfiorita:  I think it is incredibly irresponsible to have kids that you aren’t ready for, whether that is financially or emotionally. I’d never have a child unless my relationship and finaces were stable. If you can’t afford yourself now, how will you manage with a child? It makes no sense to me. Wanting a baby at all costs, even if the quality of life you will provide is crap, is just plain selfish.

Post # 15
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s definitely necessary for us. However, some people will never be totally financially stable. Should they never have a child? I’m not sure.  I wouldn’t because I want to bring my child up in a certain type of lifestyle.  However, as long as you can afford the basic needs for your child and don’t have to rely on anyone else or the government to provide care for them, then I don’t really have a problem with it.

I do have a problem with people who rely on government programs who have children, or have them and are okay continuing to be on government programs after they have children.

Post # 16
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Not a good idea, IMO. First, babies are expensive. Second, maternal stress, which can easily be caused by not having money, can lead to PPD, less satisfaction with the marital relationship, and a host of other problems.

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