(Closed) Spinoff – Vanilla Sex

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m 43 and I’ve been through it all. I’m old enough to know what works and I agree with you.


However, I think novelty creates romance…but it doesn’t just have to be novelty in the bedroom…novelty OUTSIDE the bedroom and cause excitement…just going camping or trying a new activity together can rev up the engine.

Post # 4
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

What do you mean by Vanilla… clearly I’m behind on times lol

Post # 6
132 posts
Blushing bee

I think “Vannilla” can be relative. For example, I have a fetish for bigger men, so me rubbing up on SO’s tummy seems kind of  “Vannila” to me- it’s something that I would do with any partner I would be with, but for others it miht be seens and kinky, odd, or strange


I think what people mean by Vanilla is that it’s the “same ol’ same ol'” in their relationship. Not nessesarily generilzing to everyone. If missionary is what gets you hot, then you’ve got a hot sex life! It’s when things get personally boreing that it gets “Vanilla”

Post # 9
858 posts
Busy bee

my feeling on this is it nobody’s place to make comments like that “relationships don’t survive if you stick to vanilla” seriously you know the sex lives of everyone and know thats why their relationship doesnt work? (can you tell I have had someone say this to me before lol) If it works for both of you and your happy that is all that matters. Only you two know what you like and what you dont, as long as your willing to try things and make the effort to keep romance in your relationship then your doing more then enough

Post # 10
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly my Fiance and I try some crazy stuff once in awhile, but I would say that 80% of the time we have vanilla sex. A lot of the time we will start off trying something new and then end up not liking it. In the end we tend to go back to our normal little routine. Mind you we don’t do the same exact things every time, but what we do like is kind of limited at the moment. 

Post # 12
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh I should add that for us I think that even the willingness to try something new (whether we like it or not!) is enough to keep things spicy in the bedroom. Sometimes this does backfire a bit and we try something that just makes us fall over laughing. Either way it is entertaining!

Post # 13
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Vanilla can be good. We like to throw in some sprinkles, add some chocolate sauce with whipped cream and a cherry and call it a sundae. But the heart of the dish, and what’s left at the end, is still good ol’ regular yummy vanilla. (All of this, metaphorically speaking, of course. Although, a little whipped cream on my cherry……..nevermind Laughing)

Post # 14
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FloretteLiz: I absolutely agree with you. I feel like as long as we’re both willing and able to try new things, sex won’t ever be boring. It really doesn’t matter if we like them or not or if they are super crazy or just going into a different room of the house. I think people only get into trouble when one partner refuses to sway off their “vanilla” sex at all, and the other partner really wants to spice it up. 


Post # 15
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Wonderwoman217:  LOVE this analogy 🙂  So true!!

As for ‘vanilla’ – I absolutely agree that it is all relative to the two people involved.  I have had a good friend of mine (whom is married) tell me she is jealous of my SO’s and I’s sex life.  I always remind her there is no reason to be.  It just works for US 🙂  Similiar to their sex life working for THEM, as they are both happy with it. 

There is nothing ‘vanilla’ about anyone’s sex life unless one person in the relationship is bored or unsatisfied.  If that is the case, then there are MANY ways to add a little ‘topping’ to your vanilla ice cream!!

Post # 16
66 posts
Worker bee



lmao lmao!!  the “power tools” thing, got me 2 visuals…the howard stern chick, and some mental pic i brought up of my own, of a random woman riding a jack hammer in the backyard??

i’m WAY too visual!!



as for me and XFH(yes, tho split, we still live together, and “hook up”)…..we’ve pretty much done almost everything we can think of(excluding another person involved)…we try alot of stuff, but we’ve gone through phases where for a month or 2, we do vanilla…but usually during those times, it’s cos he has been offshore alot, and we’re just trying to play “catch up”, and not too worried about HOW we do it lol…

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