(Closed) Spinoff: what do you do with extra guests that show up who didn't RSVP?

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i ws worried an uncle would do this to us , he hummed and harred about coming and never actually said he was or not (but he lives in another country, although its a close country to fly over)

i didnt make a space for him, and if he had of shown there wouldnt have been space cos we were at capacity.

we had to pay for every number even if someone didnt show up, i thought if he cant even have the curtosy to RSVP and give us an answer he misses out.

he didnt show.

with u, if anyone who didnt RSVP shows up, id say “sorry but you had plenty of time, we had to give definite numbers so there isnt space unfortunately” i wouldnt bother rushing round making space for them if they cant even RSVP.

having said that, a lot of people just expect u to know they are coming (stupid buyt true) so i would do a ring around before you need the final number to double check anyone you havent heard from

Post # 4
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think a lot of times people end up not being able to come at the last minute who have RSVPd yes, so it probably works out. The three weddings I have been intimately involved in ended up with less people than they expected and they were fine on space even though some people showed up who didn’t RSVP.

Post # 6
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

At my sister’s wedding, guests showed up with EXTRA guests! One of my mom’s coworkers brought her husband, which is fine, but then she also brought her mother and sister! Really, would you bring your whole family to your coworker’s daughter’s wedding? Luckily it was a buffet, and there were enough seats, but what if several people did that??

Post # 7
7776 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FortiesFlare:  I phoned everyone who didn’t RSVP so I got a firm “yes” or “no” from everyone. So someone would have had to come who specifically said they weren’t. Fortunately that didn’t happen. I guess what would have happened is the waiter on the door directing people tables would have said, “Sorry we don’t have a seat for you”.

Post # 8
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have wondered about this as well!

The plan I have in mind is the following:

Either the Day Of Coordinator or an allocated Groomsman/Bridesmaid/Person has to field the unexpected guests and politely tell them to leave. I would prefer not to even be informed until AFTER the wedding, if at all. That kind of behaviour, after all the time and money spent carefully planning a wedding, would just make me furious!

Post # 9
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I will try once to track down people who don’t respond, and if I don’t get an answer then I’ll treat them as a no. And I won’t be setting extra spaces for them either. So if they decide to show up without telling, they don’t get a meal or a seat. If other people don’t show up, then there will be some space I guess. 


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