Spinoff – What do you think of house (down payment) registries?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you contribute to a house down payment fund?
    Sure why not, a gift is a gift. : (37 votes)
    25 %
    Maybe, depends on how close I am to the couple. : (20 votes)
    13 %
    Heck no, it's ___________ (insert adjective here). : (92 votes)
    62 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1178 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Jewelieee:  I would shrug and not contribute anything. It’s not up to other people to fund your honeymoon or house.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @Jewelieee:  I guess I would think it was weird that the couple would spend the money on a wedding rather than a house if they need that money for a downpayment.

    Post # 5
    Member
    975 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

    I don’t really see the point. Most of these things take a cut out of the amount given. I would just get family/friends to spread the word you are saving for house/honeymoon and they would give money. Registries aren’t really a big thing in Canada at all though. Most people give money. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @housebee:  +1

    If people wanted a house that badly then they need to save the money for it themselves, not ask others to fund it by having a wedding.

    Post # 7
    Member
    495 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @Jewelieee:  I would never do it myself but if my friends did I would contribute to it. I really don’t care if it’s a gift, honeymoon, or house reg. Just as long as they tell me what they want so my money doesn’t go to waste. 🙂 I hate it when I have no idea what the couple wants or needs. I know these things are considered taboo or the other T word but I’m the kind of guest who wants some direction in the gift department. I’ve never been a great gifter on my own. LOL

    Post # 8
    Member
    7090 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would just give cash.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6506 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t understand why you would be offended. I think it’s a bit rude but I wouldn’t be offended by it. We almost always give cash anyways so we would probably still give them a check and be done with it

    Post # 10
    Member
    1802 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I can understand why some people would think this was rude, but I would actually be happy contributing to something useful in a couple’s life! When I just buy a random gift or something that looked like it was just plopped on to a registry I feel like half the time it is going to waste. I would love to know that my money was going to something like their future home. Personally, I don’t see the difference in writing a $50 check that they use for whatever and knowing that it is going towards a down payment on their future home. I can see why some people view it as rude because it is essentially telling someone what you plan to spend their money on before they even offer to give it to you, but for me that is over thinking it a bit too much. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    8706 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Your honeymoon and your house need to be funded by you. I think asking for money for either of these things is in poor taste.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t mind a house registry because that’s what a lot of married couples end up doing after the wedding anyway.  However, I do think Hatch My House specifically is a little odd.  The last wedding I went to used HMH and as far as I could tell, you’re just giving cash via Paypal and saying that you’re buying them a window or an oven…but the couple could still use the money on something totally different.  Why not just give cash if that’s the case?  I could at least see the merit of a honeymoon registry since you’re buying a nice meal or an excursion and the money is going directly to that.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @Jewelieee:  I am absolutely not okay with this. My mother actually expressed the idea that FH and I should skip the DW and have the wedding at home “so we can invite everyone” and “instead of spending the money to travel they (the guests) will give you money for a down payment on a house”. NO NO NO! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1681 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Jewelieee:  I think this is adorable. When I give a couple money for their wedding it is my upmost hope that they’re using it toward their home and now blowing it on things like designer purses and jewelry. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    863 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Jewelieee:  I think I don’t want to pay for anyone else’s house, is what I think. If a couple wants to use the money I gave them as a wedding gift to pay for their house then I’m thrilled. But this is just…wrong somehow. I think it’s because I want to give the couple a gift to say congrats on the wedding but nothing more than that. I don’t really want to help them buy their house because I think as adults they canbuy their own damn house. Plus, in times like this where a lot of people can’t afford to buy a house I think it would be a slap in the face to be asked to contribute to someone else’s. 

    I would fantasize about gifting the couple a hideous ornament with a note that says ‘Since so many others are paying for your house, we thought we’d give you a little something to furnish it with.’ 

    Post # 16
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think its way worse than honeymoon registries. If you can’t afford a home on your own then you have no business buying one. I get that its just extra money to go toward it, but… why not just do a regular registry for items for that upcoming new house?

    I know a lot of people use the money from their weddings toward a home so just don’t register at all and you’ll still get cash. Heck we did register and we still only got cash as wedding gifts!

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