SPINOFF: What if your guy was bi?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: How would you react?
    I'd be totally ok with it, nothing would change. : (100 votes)
    23 %
    It might change things a bit, but we'd work through it : (112 votes)
    26 %
    A lot would change, I don't know if it would still work. : (106 votes)
    25 %
    Everything would change, we could not work through it : (106 votes)
    25 %
    Other : (4 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @HonoraryNerd:  I have lots of gay friends, and my oldest childhood friend is trans and bisexual. …but I started dating my FI as a straight man, and that’s what I prefer.

    I realize that for many people, sexuality is fluid, but mine isn’t. If his suddenly was, I would feel very odd and disconnected to him. If it’s something he had begun to question, I would feel like our relationship had become precarious. 

    He would be the person he always was, but I would feel like I was deceived. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    319 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I knew a woman whose husband came out as bi, then he begged and begged her to let him “explore his sexuality” and porn&toys weren’t enough so she even let him cheat on her with men 🙁 it was really sad. They eventually got divorced. I could never handle that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

     🙁 It makes me sad that anyone would care at all. Sad and angry. I think anyone who would leave their partner or want to leave their partner or even think about leaving their partner because that partner was bisexual must never have really loved that person at all. 

    Being bisexual doesn’t impact your love for or loyalty to any one person. There’s no reason it should change a relationship at all. Someone who cheats or wants to cheat will do so no matter their sexuality, and someone who is loyal and devoted will be so no matter their sexuality.

    And delaying coming out does not equate to lying, it just means someone wants to try and make sure they are comfortable and safe before telling something that can be a very risky secret at times. It shouldn’t be risky but it is, and I understand those who don’t want to throw it out there right away – especially with all the negative stereotypes floating about. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I think it would make things… interesting, to say the least.  I actually might have a sudden pride moment- out of everyone- not just women, but men too- he picked me!  Haha.

    I think the biggest issue would be if he started trying to claim my on-screen boyfriends.  Uh uh, no way sir, you cannot have my Andrew Garfield!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3097 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    Hmm I’m insecure so I admit I’d bother me a bit, but wed still be together.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1106 posts
    Bumble bee

    I couldn’t look at him the same. I don’t support homosexuality so it would def seem wrong to me and go against my morals. It would change everything and I would feel betrayed  

    Post # 11
    Member
    8518 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’d be perfectly fine with it. I hate how its “nothing” anymore for a woman to be bi/lesbian, but somehow the idea of a man being bi/gay is so much worse.

     

     

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    8518 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MissSweetiepie:  Thats pretty awful. Why would you be betrayed?

    Post # 13
    Member
    724 posts
    Busy bee

    I dated a man who confided in me that he was bisexual and had engaged in a range of sexual activities with other men. It wasn’t an issue at all. He might as well have told me that he had sex with blondes before me.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    It wouldn’t bother me at all.

    Now, if he then gave me some BS about wanting to experient with other men, or I suspected he was really gay, that would obviously bother me. But having previous same sex partners whilst being totaly committed to me? Pfffft. All in the past.

    After all, he’s mine now!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1234 posts
    Bumble bee

    It wouldn’t change anything as long as he were still committed to me and only me. I know one girl who apparently thought that because she was bi she should be allowed to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend at any given time. Now, I have no problem with non-monogamous relationships IF everyone in the relationship is OK with that, but she wanted both even when her boyfriends or girlfriends would say they wanted a monogamous relationship or they weren’t comfortable with her having dinnertime on the site they didn’t know  (most of the time the boyfriend/girlfriend never met, she kept them separate. It wasn’t like a relationship with three people in it, it was one person in two relationships if that makes sense). 

    Anyways, if SO wanted a set up like that, we’d have a problem. I don’t share, that’s that. It works for some people, but not for me. If he still wanted to be monogamous and was still in love with me, I don’t see much changing. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Can I just say that these poll results are really sad. Just goes to show that there is a huge double standard. We’re all prepared to support other women on this site, but as soon as a man doesn’t live up to our perfect perfect expectations, we’re ready to throw him out like garbage.

    Depressing.

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