Post # 1
Inspired by the Destination Wedding cost covering debate, how do you split costs in a relationship when one person makes a lot more than the other?
Has this remained consistent throughout your relationship, or does it depend on the level of commitment? Does it matter if it’s the man or the woman who makes more?
Post # 4
I didn’t read the Destination Wedding cost debate…. what do you mean? How should finances in general be handled when one person makes more than their spouse?
Post # 5
My husband makes double what I make and has so for years before marriage too. When we moved in together the initial instinct was to split 50/50, but we realized this wasn’t fair and started paying based on a percentage of total monthly income. Both of us felt this was the fairest situation and after doing so, it did help alleviate some of our money arguments.
As far as the “extras” like vacations – it depends on the situation. For example, when we were dating, our first vacation we split 50/50. However, our next vacation, my husband (then BF) surpirsed me and gifted my portion.
Post # 6
@RunnerBride13: There’s another thread in which the guy (who makes more) was invited to a Destination Wedding that his girlfriend thinks that he should pay for/doesn’t want to pay for. So I guess my question is whether or not people think that the incomes of partners should impact who pays for what.
Post # 7
I was in grad school when I started dating my husband, who made 6 figures.
We split things 50/50 – we just adjusted our expectations on what we would be doing. We cooked a lot more, did a lot of hiking/free museum nights/plays in the park, etc etc. In return, he got to save money that we eventually used for an 8 month long backpacking trip, and towards our down payment on a house.
We are married now, and money is communal. There is no keeping score, and we do not “split” any costs. Legally, it’s all communal anyway – might as well treat it like that!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@jdhall89: You have to commit to the idea that it’s not just one person’s money, it’s money that belongs to both of you. With that in mind, since I make 70% of our household income, I pay 70% of the bills and he pays 30% of the bills. It wouldn’t be fair to expect him to pay half and then not have any money for the rest of the month.
Post # 9
@crayfish: Yeah, this is how I feel. You need to spend in a way that both people are comfortable with, even if that means one person spending less than they could afford to.
I guess I wouldn’t care as much for casual dating, but in a serious relationship, it means you share the same money values and you’re considering the other person, not just buying them out.
Post # 10
It’s all “our” money, in one big pot. But neither of us have crazy spending habits, and we’re both financially responsible and have the same financial goals, so it works.
Post # 11
my husband makes a lot more than me. right now and before we got married, we each pay for half of the rent. he pays for utilities, phone (now that we are married. before i was on my dad’s plan), tv, internet, and usually when we go out to eat, movies, etc. i pay for groceries.
we are eventually planning on getting a joint account but haven’t been too quick about that.
Post # 12
My Fiance and I make the same amount now, so we both contribute equal amounts to our joint checking account, but as soon as he gets his B.S. degree his earning potential will shoot waaayy past mine. At that point (and we’ve already discussed this), he’ll contribute more to the joint account. I.e., if he makes twice as much as me, it means he’ll be responsible for 2/3 of the contributions to our joint account.
We’ve only gone on one major vacation together, and we split everything 50/50. I put everything on a credit card and he wrote me a check for half of the total amount. I’m not sure how we’ll handle vacations once he makes more than me. I imagine we’ll approach the issue in the same way we handle the joint checking account.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
I’m still in college, and my boyfriend graduated last year. I work about 8 hours a week, so I only make about $250 a month. He works full time and makes enough to pay all of the bills plus having some left over. What normally happens if I pay for 50-75% of the groceries, and I pay for my own gas and whatever else I may want to buy, and he pays for everything else. That’s just how it is for the time being. We’ve been dating for a little over 2 years and we’ve lived together for a little over a year.
Post # 14
My boyfriend is an accountant and he knows the formula to use that is based on your incomes so you both will be paying the same percent of your income but not the same amount. I’ll get it for you and post it when he comes home
Post # 15
@jdhall89: FI and I used to bring home equal paychecks, so we split everything as close down the middle as we could. We both got raises this year, and now I make about 50% more than Fiance. We haven’t changed our financial situation at all. We still pay what we were before. I put the difference in my monthly paychecks away into savings for both of us to use as needed (i.e. new cars, home renovations). We plan to combine finances once we get married, so things will stay even. I do spend a little more on things for the house or wedding or myself than I used to before the raise.
Post # 16
It definitely depends on the status of their relationship. If they’re not to the point where they consider it “their” money, then things should usually be split. I guess at what percentage could be determined by the pair. Both should see the setup as fair. No one should be taking advantage of the other. Of course, one might want to gift the other with things/trips and that is also fine.
I mean if they’re serious and they live together and think of it as “our” money…then it really doesn’t matter because it would all be coming out of the same pot.