SPINOFF: When to send Holiday cards (relationship time-wise)

posted 3 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: When did you start sending out Holiday cards in your relationship?
    When you were dating : (3 votes)
    5 %
    When you moved in together : (20 votes)
    32 %
    When you got engaged : (8 votes)
    13 %
    When you were married : (21 votes)
    33 %
    When you started a family (kids) : (4 votes)
    6 %
    You think sending Holiday cards is weird in general : (7 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    2694 posts
    Sugar bee

    Engaged but we didn’t get around to taking a picture together so I just used a picture of our dog. 

    Post # 4
    1414 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    Started after we got married. I think if you’re engaged that’s ok. I always thought it was a little strange when couples send one out if they are just dating. 


    Post # 5
    2551 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We started the year after we got married (because we were married in Oct and didn’t get it together to send Christmas cards + thank yous at the same time by Dec). I don’t think it’s weird per se to send them while you’re engaged, but it doesn’t happen in my group of friends/fam – everyone waits until they’re married to start sending cards together. Probably just depends on your target card receivers!

    Post # 6
    4041 posts
    Honey bee

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  I would say send one whenever you feel like sending one! If you are in a committed loving relationship, then legal status doesn’t really matter. Yes, there is a chance you could break up, but guess what…married people can get divorced! 

    We are now married, but dated for 10 years (lived together for 5) before we got married. Our relationship was very real, serious and committed before we signed the papers. We don’t send out cards and don’t plan too, but we have included my DH in holiday pictures with my family for the past 8+ years. 

    I think it is kind of silly to judge couples for when they choose to do things as an official social unit. Do whatever you are comfortable with, and don’t worry about what others think!

    ETA: Especially given that some couples are not legally aloud to get married, it would be ridiculous to judge people over their choice of timing.

    Post # 7
    1190 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  we are sending out christmas cards together, this is our second christmas of dating and we’ve been living together for a year. We are not married or engaged yet, but have definitely made a commitment to each other that everyone is aware of.

    Post # 8
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  Our first xmas together, we happened to be engaged. The timeline was short – 3 months – and I’m sure we would have still sent them together even if we were “just dating.” I could care less for tities – we were committed and a social unit, that’s all that matters (at least to me). 

    The picture won’t be of us this year though – it will definitely be our dog! Last year it was our dog’s Santa picture and we were in it too. This year I will pass on being in any pictures 😛 

    Post # 10
    1134 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    After we had been together for a couple of years and everyone knew it was a serious relationship. I think it’s up to the individual couple though, as to when they think it’s appropriate to send out a joint card (for anything, not just Christmas/holidays).

    @MrsPanda99:  I used to do Santa pictures with my dog too! I miss doing that… Cry

    Post # 11
    2076 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I sent out Christmas cards the second Christmas we were together, using our engagement photos.  I saw it as another opportunity to get some use out of our engagement photos.  We had been living together for about 8 months at that point. I obviously don’t think it is weird to send out cards before you’re married. 

    Post # 12
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I seem to be in the minority but I think it’s odd to send out cards until you have kids. 

    Post # 14
    2051 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

    We started sending holiday cards out when we got married. Mostly because my family is pretty old-fashioned and would give us the side-eye if we sent them out sooner. We get cards from friends who are in serious committed relationships but not engaged or married and we don’t think anything of it. I love getting holiday cards, I don’t care what your relationship status is!

    Post # 15
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would find it odd to get a card from an unmarried couple. In my area people don’t live together until marriage or if they do they def try not to make it known. We’ve been together 4 years, I won’t send them until we’re married and even then might wait until we have kids. 

    Post # 16
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    I believe that Engaged or Married is a good timeframe… in that you are then a recognizable “social unit”

    Engaged & Living together is a good way of letting others know some news as well about the upcoming Wedding… ie that you have a Wedding Website.

    Handy if someone has skipped out on STDs etc.


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