Spinoff: Why is it considered rude / gift grabby to have multiple registries

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t see a problem with multiple registries.  Everyone kept telling us we couldn’t just do one; we had to do at least 2.  I think mulitiple locations gives your guests more options and locations to shop.  I would be grateful if you gave me 5 different ones so I could chose where to go and what I wanted to spend and not be limited.  I don’t think it looks gift grabby at all.  If you have 200 items over 5 locations, how is that any different than 200 items over 2 locations?  Register where you want, who cares how many.

Post # 4
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t think it’s grabby. I think registries are more to help guests than to “request” gifts.  People want to get you something you will like and they want choices to pick from that represents their style. I think multiple places is OK! Grandma might want china options and your friends might be more comfortable getting you gifts from BBB.

Post # 5
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I personally agree with finding the best deals for your guest. In my area, a lot of people register at William Sonoma and it drives me crazy. I understand if it’s William Sonoma exclusive, but it’s usually something that they sell for WAY cheaper at Macy’s or BBB and I feel that people just register at William Sonmona to register at William Sonoma.

Post # 6
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Every couple I know has had 2-3 registries.  One major department store/BBB (or both) for the mid-high range and Target or similar for the lower priced options.  That way there’s options for the guests on every budget.  It depends on  your friends/family though.  If everyone you know is in the same social and economic circle, then it makes sense to have one registry.  We’ve got a pretty wide variety of friends, everything from just graduated with a mountain of debt to six figure incomes.  And it sucks to look at a high end registry and go “Oh goody, I can afford ONE corn cob holder.  Not a pair, one.  Fanfuckingtastic.” This way, no one feels bad.

 

Post # 7
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i think it’s great to give guests a variety of options to choose from.

Post # 8
Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think having a couple of different registries is good to make it easier for guests. If you only have one registry, some guests might not have a location nearby but multiple registries make it more likely that guests can go to at least one of the stores. But of course there is a limit and I think anything past 3 registries is a bit much. The registry is a wish list. it’s not your job to find the store with the cheapest price, just pick 3 stores and register for whatever you want. As long as you have a variety of price ranges and you have a total of about 2 items per invited guest, you should be fine.

 

 ETA: Also, don’t assume that people will look at or buy from all of your registries especially if you have so many. It sometimes happens that you get a lot of stuff from one registry and hardly anything from the others. Personally I’d especially worry about your direct china registry. What are you going to do if you only get a partial or odd set? Will you be able to return it for something else? The good thing about registering at a department store is that you have a lot of options if you need to exchange something.

 

Post # 9
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

i swear I never hear about half these things until i come to the bee

Gift grabby?? Good job I didnt go with myregistry then. Honestly I think myregistry is great but it got a bit complicated linking registries from different countries on there.  I have 2, one in UK and one in USA

Post # 10
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

As per traditional Etiquette the recommended amount is one or two (3 occasionally) … beyond that is seen as being Gift Grabby because it “appears” as if Gifting is your primary thought / concern for your Guests.

(Oooh, I want this, and this, and this)

But in reality ONLY YOU know your Guests.

The idea behind 2 or 3 is they should all be vastly different from one another.  That should be your starting point, and NOT specifically what you want from each one.

(China Merchant – Big Box Housewares – Dept Store =OR= China Merchant – Big Box Housewares – Sporting Goods etc)

Personally, I’d combine a couple of these… and get the best bang for your buck (well as far as the list goes).

Drop Target and register for Towels, Sheets & Kitchen Utensils at BBB (in that you’ve also said that both of these stores are at the lower end of your pricing options any how)

And you can then rethink LL Bean as well.  (This from a girl who LOVES LL Bean).  But you could drop them perhaps entirely… and just use the Cash you get to pick up whatever it is you want from them (and you will get Cash).

OR Keep LL Bean and drop Macy’s.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 11
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had two registries, but thinking back to it, I just registered for about the same things on each site. I got a bit carried away, and click happy. Ah well, can’t change that now!

Post # 12
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I had 3 registries and nobody said anything about mine. I was at BBB target and walmart

Post # 13
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sweet5k:  we’re registered at three places. we wanted our favorites of everything we wanted/needed and we couldnt get it all at one or two places. where i’m from, two is customary.

Post # 14
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

To answer your question, because it has the appearance that you spent too much time choosing your own presents.  And one store wasn’t enough for all you wanted, kwim? 

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