Post # 1
My FMIL feels “cheated” of a lot of experiences surrounding weddings, grandbabies. My FBIL’s wife is unfair, to say the least, and very partial to her family.
-Did not include her in ANY wedding plans.
-Causes a family fight EVERY time his family wants to have random dinners (or even dinners for birthdays). She refused to let them have a birthday dinner for her
(her choice, but cmon- free dinner and cake). She does this truly out of spite, not because she doesn’t believe in birthday celebrating.
-1st grandchild- did not even call her until the morning after delivery of the baby and after everyone had showered and slept. Not even a CALL, for their first grandchild. Meanwhile, her mother was in the delivery room.
-2nd grandchild- FMIL offered to watch the older daughter once she went into labor. Instead of calling FMIL, she called her mother, who is 1.5 hours away (FMIL is 20 mins) and waited for her before going to hospital. Again, no call, nothing, until the next day.
My FMIL can be very overbearing at times, I get it. But I feel so sad that she feels she has missed out on so much!
I invited her to hang out with the girls the morning of the wedding as we get ready. At her other son’s wedding, she was not invited to hang out with the girls OR her son.
So… what are you doing with FMIL the morning of your wedding?
Post # 3
I’m paying for my own hair & makeup [obv], as well as my bms, my mother & fmil.. so yeah, she’ll be hanging out with us the morning of!
I really don’t mind though, I really adore it.. and they will be coming out a day ahead of schedule to help decorate the venue so I’m very grateful for that.
Post # 4
I assume she’ll be in her hotel room….
Post # 5
My husband and I got ready at the same hotel just in two seperate suites. My MIL came and went between the two rooms as she desired.
Post # 6
That is so nasty! I’m so glad you’re asking her to spend that time with you!
I however,, did not want my mother in law hanging out with us before the ceremony. She gave DH and I a very angry speech the day before because she believed some nasty rumours about us, and I really wasn’t over it by then. She spent the morning getting herself and her daughter (a bridesmaid) ready, which was unfortunate anyways because it meant SIL couldn’t spend that time with te rest of us either. They were only like… 300 feet away from the rest of us though.
Post # 7
@Jw1724: Mine got ready with her sisters she doesn’t see often. I just wanted to say how kind it is of you to see what is going on with the other daughter-in-law and how your taking your FMIL’s feelings into consideration 😀
Post # 8
My FMIL will be getting ready in her own house. FI wants his dad around while he’s getting ready, and she can’t stand his father. I don’t want her anywhere near me that morning, since she’ll do nothing but cause me stress. Also, neither of us need her negativity.
Post # 9
nope. i invited her to get her hair and/or makeup done with us in the morning, but she didn’t want to (which i was happy about).
Post # 10
@Jw1724: We’re having a wedding weekend with lodging on-site, so she’ll be included as much as she is interested, but I suspect that both moms will also have their own extended families and friends that they want to hang out with. She’s definitely welcome, though! We get along quite well and I’d love to have her there.
Post # 11
@Jw1724: I have 2 FMILs and neither of them will be with me. Just my MOH, BMs, and my mom.
Post # 12
@Jw1724: While it sounds like you FSIL (or FBIL’s wife) has been quite rude to your FMIL, it doesn’t seem like your FBIL has helped. He could have called his mother, he could have influenced the situation of where there daughter stayed and he could have included his mother in the wedding plans.
That aside, it is nice that you would like to include your FMIL.
I tried to include my DH’s mother as much as possible. We actually hosted my bridal shower and the rehearsal dinnner at her house (she insisted) and we had her go with us to the venue for a walk through. She was absolutely giddy with excitement and emotions throughout the whole process. DH is her oldest son, and she lives in the same town as us (my family does not). She even went with me to my dress fittings (and cried each time) because I didn’t have any family to go. I was very happy to include her in the process.
On the morning of the wedding, she was not with us though. She helped DH with a few things, but we were at the salon getting our hair done. My mother was not at the salon either, just the BMs because she helped babysit the flower girls.
Post # 13
She’ll be in the hotel room with the rest of us!!!
Post # 14
@bmo88: Oh I agree as far as FBIL not helping. Unfortunately, his wife has threatened to take the kids from him after fights regarding family things and I think he has kind of just given in at this point to keep his family together…
Post # 15
We had breakfast with her at the hotel. Then she hung with her family, I went to shower and pick up flowers and get to the venue. Husband went to get lunch with friends. She didn’t get ready with us at the venue. I adore her, but we didnt have a large room and she wasnt getting her hair done so she stayed at the hotel until a shuttle picked her up (I guess – maybe she went for lunch or something, but she wasn’t with us). As far as I know she didn’t mind.
I had invited her to go dress shopping with me and she was going to come up, but then had some dental work and was in too much pain, unfortunately. My SIL is married but didnt have a traditional wedding with a dress or anything, so I was hoping MIL could have that experience if she wanted to, but it didn’t work out.
Post # 16
Aw I feel bad for you FMIL you FBILs wife sounds so unfair:( DH and I got suites only a few doors apart the night before the big day. So my mom came and so did his. She kind of went back and forth between my room and his. She was helping my SIL get ready in our room (bridal party) and bawling happy tears seeing her sons look so handsome and BIL was the Best Man. It worked out perfrctly as nobody felt left out of the getting ready plans.