Spinoff: Would you consider using donor eggs with SO's sperm?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: If you couldn't have biological children, would you use your SO's sperm with donor eggs?
    Yes, this is something I'd be open to. : (14 votes)
    29 %
    No way, I couldn't do this. : (23 votes)
    47 %
    I'm conflicted about whether or not I'd want to do this. : (12 votes)
    24 %
    Other (explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @rachelmichelle:  I say no. I think, at the end of it all, I would rather adopt. Granted, yeah, I’d bake the baby and it would have some of my husband in it, but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable knowing that my baby looks like another woman. I’d rather it not look like either of us. That’s probably a really crap explanation, but it’s the best I can do. I’m loaded up on Halloween cupcakes, lol.

    Post # 4
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    If my egg wouldn’t produce a kid either way, I would prefer the baby to be “half” of us rather than “none” of us (not to speak badly of adoption – I just like the idea of heredity). I would have no problem as long as he’s not actually screwing the other woman, lol!

    Post # 5
    8483 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I wouldn’t.

    We both felt that if we had problems getting pregnant we wouldn’t use someone else’s sperm or eggs.  We wanted it to be ours.  We wouldn’t have had kids if we needed those.  FWIW, we wanted kids but both of us felt we would still be satisfied and happy without children.  Not everyone feels that way.

    More power to anyone else who wants to use donor sperm or eggs.

    Post # 6
    1134 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @rachelmichelle:  No, I couldn’t do it. When I have children I want them to be OURS, not his and some other woman’s. If I couldn’t have them naturally or whatever, I would see about getting my eggs harvested. If that couldn’t be done, we would just adopt. The kid would either be 100% biologically ours or 100% not. There’s no middle ground for me.

    Post # 7
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think we’d adopt in this situation.

    Post # 8
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    i’m also adopted and also desperately want biological children. adoption would be a very very very last resort for us. so i would try pretty much everything… even if that means the child would only resemble him. i would still be upset about the prospect but at least i would have a little him. side note: can you choose the appearance of the donor? i would want to pick someone who has similar features to me. and vice versa if we needed donor sperm.

    Post # 9
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I will not go to through medical intervention to have a child.  No fertility treatments, in vitro, surrogates, donors etc.

    Post # 10
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    FI’s aunt and uncle had to do this – they married later in life and she couldn’t have children, so they used his sperm and a donor egg. The little boy is now 8 – I don’t think he even really looks like his dad! He is completely and totally attached to his mom, though. It’s the first time I’ve ever (knowingly) been around people who chose to do that and I have to say, it’s made me realize how little genes and biological stuff counts. If FI and I were ever in that situation, I would absolutely do it.

    Post # 11
    5812 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We are in that position right now. 2nd and final IVF failed a couple of months ago. I do feel a huge sense of loss that we wont have a child that is a mixture of US. I’m mourning the loss of passing on my family genetics. But I look at DH and I love the idea of seeing parts of him. 

    ANd quite frankly, adoption kinda scares me. At least if I’m carrying it, I know it will have good prenatal care. 

    Post # 12
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @rachelmichelle:  If my bloodstream didn’t have so much (necessary) medication in it I’d be able to carry children of my own, so no. 

    Post # 15
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @rachelmichelle:  Nope. I’d want our kids to be 100% our DNA.

    Post # 16
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @rachelmichelle:  If that was our only option at having a semi-biological child, then yeah why not.  My cousin did this.  I actually had no idea either until she told me when the kid was 5 or 6, since I think her child looks just like her.  

    Leave a comment

    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors