Post # 1
Simple enough question– would you marry someone who had a different faith or belief system than you? Perhaps somewhere on the continuum– like a Christian would marry someone who follows any of the Abrahamic faiths but no others, or an atheist would marry someone who is agnostic or deist but not other? Please explain!
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center
@SoupyCat: For me, probably not. I’m very open-minded to people believing what they want to believe, but my faith is very important to me. I feel that if I married someone of a different faith, that it could potentially interfere with how I would want to raise my children. Mr. D is also a Christian so I have never had to face this in life, but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t. Not that I don’t respect other religions, just that I would be afraid that it would interfere with my own faith if my spouse didn’t share the same one.
Post # 4
Nope. I am fine with people having different beliefs than me but I couldn’t raise children with someone with a different faith. I couldn’t go through life knowing my husband wouldn’t be in heaven with me.
Post # 5
No. It’s too important to me and integral to who I am. I wouldn’t have married someone who wasn’t a Christian. I was Protestant and married a Catholic and ended up converting – I love that we are involved in our church and that our faith is something we share.
Post # 6
I hear you. Especially if you have a strong belief system and are going to have kids, that would be a tough obstacle to cross. As an atheist, I personally could not have married someone who was part of a proselytizing religion. Maybe if they kept it to themselves I could, but I don’t think I’d want a religious spouse.
Post # 7
@SoupyCat: i voted maybe because as long as that faith is not shoved down my throat, then yes.
@Birdee106: how…just how would you know that this non christian person wouldn’t be in heaven…with you. isn’t there other versions of heaven, perhaps that don’t go by the same name? i can understand saying you would be worried thinking that he might now follow the same afterlife path as you – but knowing? how do you know? ever been to heaven? how’s life over there? where exactly do people that aren’t christian go after they die, according to you? hell?
Post # 8
Yeah, I don’t care. As long as they weren’t annoying about it, which I wouldn’t date someone that was anyway. I’m spiritual though, kinda agnostic. I mean I don’t understand why it matter.
Say they are Christan and sad that you won’t/may not be in heaven with them, but once they are in heaven they don’t feel sadness or anything anyway so why does it matter?
And if your atheist, and they believe they are going to heaven, you don’t, so why do you care?
I don’t get it, I get the whole kids issue, but I was raised southern baptist and it didn’t traumatize me, so If my husband wanted them to go to Sunday school/get baptized, I just don’t care.
I guess it would be kinda lame if you were really involved in your religion temple/church/whatever and went often and your partner didn’t, but I kinda just put that with a hobby they aren’t interested in.
Post # 9
@lillyhere: How do I know that a non christian won’t go to heaven? Because the bible says so. Because God says so. I don’t question that. I’m not making any judgements of my own. Like I said, I don’t think anything bad of people with different beliefs, but they won’t go to heaven. That is my belief.
Post # 10
@SoupyCat: I would marry anyone of any faith. Obviously depending on what the faith is we might have some different issues to work out. The most important thing to me is being with someone who is spiritual in some way. (Okay, so I guess then I would have a hard time being with a fundamentalist atheist) And that the person is also supportive of me being spiritual and practicing my faith. I would also want us to share our different holidays and celebrate together. I want my FI to appreciate my culture even if it isn’t his own, and I do my best to do the same for him. So far so good! FI and I have been doing really well!
I do think we struggle with how we want to raise our kids. I know we want to raise them Jewish but also expose them to other religions. It’s important to FI that they have a choice. I don’t think he quite understands that it is their choice if they want to have a bar or bat mitzvah or not because he grew up Baptist in a church where there were no choices really. Ultimately, we’ll raise them based on Jewish values, but it is definitely in our values to embrace multiculturalism and explore other cultures so I think they will be exposed to other faiths that way, and if that is the path that they choose to take, I will support them all the way!
Post # 11
I think it would be a lot easier for me (nonreligious) to be with someone devoutly religious than it would be for them to be with me. I respect religion, I have religious friends, and I have a lifestyle that would probably work out fine with a religious partner.
On the other hand, I’m not going to participate in something that is extremely important in their lives. They would need to accept non-religiosity as a valid choice for our kids. There are also many common religions in which I would not be joining them in heaven. That’s kind of huge, right?
I honestly don’t know why a devoutly religious person would really see me as a legitimate partner choice.
Post # 12
@SoupyCat: Absolutely not.
Post # 13
I’d be open to it, but probably not. I definitely wouldn’t if they had a very strong faith/opinions (I’m agnostic). If they kept it to themselves, I’d be ok with it. But people that always pushing it, spouting off about it, posting about it on social media…I don’t think I would have made it on more than 1 date with them.
So I’d be open to it, but I feel it would be very unlikely to happen.
Post # 14
@SoupyCat: I’m athiest and I married a Christian, so, obviously yes I would. My husband has his faith and that’s fine. I’m just not a participant. For us, religion is something that is a private choice so he respects my choice to not believe and I respect his to believe.
Post # 15
Difficult. It would depend. I have said before that I could never marry someone whose faith was diametrically opposed to mine (for example, a Satanist or a Dawkinsian).
I could also not marry someone who wasn’t a socialist. For me, being a socialist and being a Christian are inseperable, but I know that this is not always the case in different parts of the world.
If I had to choose between a socialist Muslim (and yes, they exist) and a member of the Christian religious right, I would marry the Muslim. I would believe that our social and religious beliefs were better aligned, despite our initial superficial differences.
But… we don’t have to make simplistic choices like that IRL. We have more options.
I ended up with a Christian husband. I think I’m right in saying that DH is the only Christian I have ever dated…. I can’t immediately think of any others. I don’t think that this is an accident. Dating someone with the same belief system is easier, in a lot of ways. You get where the other is coming from. I used to think that faith was not terribly relevant to a relationship… now I’m less sure.
I definitely wouldn’t rule anyone out automatically for being a Jew/Buddhist/Agnostic or whatever. But we would have to see.
Post # 16
…Ehhhh. Toughie. I honestly don’t know.
FH’s family is Catholic, thus we are doing a church wedding out of respect for them. But neither one of us goes to church, nor do we pray….so. Idk.