Spinoff x2 – Is married life better than cohabitation?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hmmm maybe I’m strange but nothing really changed for me. I was happy to be done planning but nothing really changed around our home.

ETA: If it weren’t for the legal benefits involved with getting married, I’m not sure I would have gotten married.

Post # 4
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We lived together for four years; it feels the same.  The first time I married, we did not live together and it was a huge adjustment. 

Post # 5
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t feel like our relationship has changed all too much. My last name has changed, and I feel like we’ve been better as a couple, but it mostly feels the same, which I’m happy with. I’d rather it be this way than completely new 🙂

Post # 6
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I cohabited before marriage. It feels just the same to me. It was fun for a while to look at my ring and call each other Mr and Mrs… but beyond that… nothing changed!

Post # 7
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Tagging in because I’m interested in the answers- we are already living together and raising two kids, so I don’t expect much to change 

Post # 8
Member
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

We only lived together less than a year before getting married but were togwther 6 years before that.  I felt no difference whatsoever.

Post # 9
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I want it to feel different, but I am moving in a few months prior to the wedding. I’m thinking that in the business of adjusting to living together and wedding planning, post honeymoon we will feel more settled and comfortable living together as hubs and wife. I considered just waiting till marriage to move in, but I’d like that adjustment period to happen before the wedding – not after. so if it’s rough for a bit god forbid no one feels like they made a mistake! 

Post # 10
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

We lived together for three and a half years before getting married and absolutely nothing has changed.

Post # 11
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’ve been married before,and now I’m living with my so,and honestly it doesn’t feel any different.Yeah,it’s fun and sweet call each other husband and wife,nothing is really different in the end.I loved being married,but honestly seeing how my marriage ended and I got NOTHING,no benefits or protection at all,and how in the end it doesn’t really feels any different,I don’t know if I’ll ever get married again.

Post # 12
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m not married yet, but I do think that I will feel a bit different after my FI and I are officially married.  I defintely felt differently about him after we got engaged.  Suddenly here I was going to my family and announcing that I was bringing in a new member and they were so excited and happy that THIS is the man I chose to add to the family.  It made me love him even more and honestly made me proud of my choice to make him my husband.  When we are actually married, I think I’ll feel that same kind of intense feeling.

But with regard to living together, when my FI moved in to my place (early last month), nothing changed except that now he doesn’t have another house to go to.  We were spending basically every night together anyway.  I honestly can’t imagine that the actual act of living together will feel any different once we’re husband and wife.

I’m not sure if my answer is very helpful regarding what you’re asking!

Post # 13
Member
4918 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

It feels better to me.  I can’t really explain how, just cozier somehow.

Post # 14
Member
3341 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think it feels a bit different, but not much. There is a bit more of a “you and me, together, forever, no matter what” feeling, which is pretty cool. I mean, we were committed before, but I think declaring our vows in front of everyone really sealed that “forever” part. The day to day things have not changed. I still get a couple butterflies when he introduces me as his wife. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2150 posts
Buzzing bee

@Kimberley25:  Question for you:

Do you think that living together before marriage is a positive or a negative, since you’ve experienced both sides?

Post # 16
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MichiganGirl24:  A very positive thing for me.  My one caveat before moving in together was that I wanted to be engaged.  I know long engagements aren’t popular on this forum, but it worked for us.  To be honest, if I’d lived with my first husband before we married, I don’t think we would’ve married.  We were too different.  I was young and didn’t really have enough life experience, however, to realize this.  I think it’s smart to live together beforehand … forever is a long time!

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