(Closed) Spiritual Marriage (not legal)

posted 7 years ago in Christian
  • poll: How do you feel about legal marriage?
    I find comfort in the fact that I am legally married to my spouse : (28 votes)
    34 %
    I dont like feeling locked in to my relationship by legal marriage : (4 votes)
    5 %
    I am pround to be legally married to my spouse : (46 votes)
    55 %
    Everyone does it, I've never though otherwise : (5 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2742 posts
    Sugar bee

    Ha ha, I wish I could help you. When it comes down to it, in the eyes of the government, marriage is a contract between you and the state. Now, if you don’t want that contract with its attendant benefits and deficiencies, I really don’t know how to help you. However, I do love the aspect of a spiritual marriage but it’s just not for me.

    Post # 4
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Um, there are a lot of reasons to get legally married.

    1. If one of you is in the hospital, if you are not married, the other one does not have the right to be updated on their condition or to make medical decisions for that person if they can’t make them for themselves. That, for me, is the #1 reason to have it be legal.

    2. Estate privilages. If either of you were to die, your estate would not go to your spouse, it would go to next of kin. Not being legally married = not kin.Wills can get around that somewhat, but your blood relatives will be the people carrying out your last wishes, and it could get very messy/complicated.

    3. Tax privilages. This depends on all sorts of factors that are too complicated to get into here, but depending on the situation, there may be significant tax advantages to marriage.

    4. Financial protection. If you are not legally married but comingle finances (including house mortgages, etc), you are not protected in the case of the other person leaving/doing disasterous things to your investments, etc. There is no divorce to divide communal property up – one person can take everything, and that’s allowed, since they have access.

    5. Insurance. You can’t be on your spouses insurance in most states unless you are legally married (there is a loophole at my company allowing “domestic partners” onto the insurance, but I believe that is up to individual companies to offer that kind of coverage.

     

    Marriage is what YOU make of it. It is the meaning/connotation YOU bring to the table that matters. That “contract” as you call it affords really important legal benefits – it isn’t just about being locked down. I don’t believe it cheapens the union – I think it provides privilages that are really, really important.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    If something happens to either one of you, then not having that legal tie could keep you from seeing the other in a hospital room.  That’s at least one of the things I can think of.  Oh and it’s going to cost you money to change your name if you aren’t getting legally married.  You’ll have to go to the court to petition for your name to be changed and there will be a charge for that and then you’ll have to still pay for it to be changed on your DL, etc.

    Oh and if you REALLY want to see government interferring with your relationship, try going through immigration.  Wink

    Post # 8
    Member
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Do you attend a specific church where you could talk to the minister/priest/religious leader about this idea and see if they support it? 

    Regarding your statement “My fiance wants to do it legally, I want to do it spiritually,” I don’t think those are mutually exclusive goals.  Many people choose to have a spiritual wedding ceremony and then file paperwork that makes it legal.  Just because it’s one doesn’t mean you can’t do the other.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    About the time the Defense of Marriage Act was passed, the House Judiciary Committee asked the General Accounting Office to make a list of all of the benefits of marriage granted by the federal goverment.  I believe they found over 1,000.

    I’ve attached a copy of the report.  It’s dated, but it should give you some ideas.

     http://www.gao.gov/archive/1997/og97016.pdf

    Post # 12
    Member
    467 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    i agree with crayfish, and im confused as to why you’re okay with making a whole bunch of other legal documents, and not the one that legally marries you.  if you have a will to ensure property distribution, then you still have to go to a lawyer to change that in the event of a divorce.  same with power of attorneys, etc.

    marriage is what you make it and the symbolism you give it – there is nothing that would stop your marriage from being spiritually based, even if you sign the form at city hall.

    Post # 14
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Even in the bible times when people got married they followed the rule and laws of their time, so even the bible marriages were “legal” too. I dont see any advantages to avoiding a legal marriage to be honest.

    Post # 15
    Member
    467 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @Miss Sardine:  i totally get how the legal side of it is cold, and i think its awesome that youre so open-minded about suggestions – i guess i look at it like getting a driver’s license – the waiting in line and all of that crap at the DMV sucks, but the privileges that go with it are way worth it.  and, to be honest, i like the one, neat little package of a marriage license as opposed to all of the other documents you would need to replicate it (im way too lazy for all that – one stop shopping wins here haha)

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