Post # 1
I live in Florida with my fiance and my Mom in Ohio. My sister just had a baby in October and lives in Maryland which is surronded by her husbands side of the family. She sees them on a weekly basis. Well, every year my fiance and I travel up north to celebrate Christmas Eve with my sister and her husband and spend the holidays traveling to visit everyone. When we wake up on Christmas Day my sister stays in Maryland and my fiance and I go to visit his Mom and some other friends back in PA.
Well this year my fiance and I decided to surprise my Mom in Ohio at my Aunts on Christmas Day! My sister was SO excited about the idea she wanted to come with us with the baby and then spend a few days at my Moms. My Mom hasn’t seen the baby since she was born in October and we havent seen my Mom on Christmas Day for years! Well, her husband did not agree with the idea and said his family would be very offended if they did not get the baby for her first Christmas! I was so angry! His family sees them ALL THE TIME. My Moms side of the family hasnt even met the baby yet. His side of the family gets every holiday together,weekend,weekday,birthday..you name it. I was so offended. It would make my Moms Christmas so special she would cry! My sister just went along with it but told me that she really did want to see Mom but doesn’t want to upset her husbands mother. Thoughts?
Post # 3
@sara5ann: That sucks. I would tell your sister to tell her husband your mom is his family too and they need to split time equally. My FI family is the same way. His entire side lives next door to each other essentially while mine is all spread out and his family still boohoos if anyone does spend the holiday with them. I think people who see their family all of the time someyimes just dont get how important it is for people who never see their families to spend holidays with them sometimes. Luckily my FI is cool with us splitting our time equally.
Post # 4
If I were your sister, I would be pretty upset if they spend ALL the holidays with his family and this one year she wants to spend time with your mom and he says no.
Post # 5
@arsing89: + 1
If it were my sister I would find a time to discuss it with her privately. And offer ways to express to her husband that it is important for her to spend holidays with her family too. Especially since your mom’s side of the family hasn’t even met the baby. I feel bad for her, she shouldn’t have to worry about upsetting her MIL, and her husband should stand behind her. Tough if family is offended, wife and baby are your #1 and 2 now.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
@arsing89: +1. I’d be pissed at my husband.
Post # 7
Unfortunately I don’t think this is your business to get in the middle of whatsoever, it’s their family business to deal with.
Aside from that I’d say your sister’s husband is being a total brat.
Post # 8
While I would be super irritated with my DH if he did that, I can understand wanting to keep the peace with the family that lives 10 miles away!
Post # 9
ugh sorry. your sister to tell her husband that she would like to see her mom so the baby can meet her family. her husband sounds controlling.
Post # 10
Her husband sounds kind of like a whiny jerk, and I’d be livid if I was essentially told that his family is worth more than my family.
The only thing that really concerns me is that though this baby was born in October, your mom hasn’t seen it… And why is that excatly? I could understand why your sister hasn’t taken the baby to Ohio yet (hello child birth and brand new infant), but is there some particular reason why your mom couldn’t make the trek out there?
Post # 11
If your sister just gave up the fight and gave in to her husband she is just as much the problem as he is. He sounds like a total jerk and she is sounding like a doormat.
Post # 12
Just be glad it’s not your battle to fight. It’s hers. I agree it sucks and he’s being a dick, but what can you do?
Post # 13
I don’t think it’s really your business to get into it but if I were your sister I would put my foot down and go to see your mom.
Post # 14
@sara5ann: This is your sister’s battle to fight. I don’t blame her husband for wanting to spend baby’s first xmas with his family even though they see them all the time, and I don’t blame her for wanting to spend it with your family. But, it’s not a decision for either one of them to make on their own, they need to come up with the solution that works best for their family.
It sucks, but I totally get it because we are in a similar situation – live near DH’s parents but far from mine. I typically am more likely to forego holiday’s with my family because I find it to be a pain (and expensive) to travel and would rather plan a less stressful trip where I can stay for longer and enjoy it. However, I don’t really place high value on holidays – I think any day spent with family is wonderful and it doesn’t matter if it’s a holiday or not.
Post # 15
@arsing89: +1 It seems kind of unfair. Your sister needs to put her foot down. If they don’t end up coming for Christmas, then they should try to come for Easter. What’s fair is fair.
Post # 16
@Apple_Blossom: My Mom took off 2 1/2 weeks of work when the baby was born to help my sister get more comfortable and established. She hasn’t had 2 days off in a row since then, it has been scattered. It is about a 6 1/2 hour drive.