Splitting family time for the holiday's….GRR I'm Mad!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@sara5ann:  That sucks. I would tell your sister to tell her husband your mom is his family too and they need to split time equally. My FI family is the same way. His entire side lives next door to each other essentially while mine is all spread out and his family still boohoos if anyone does spend the holiday with them. I think people who see their family all of the time someyimes just dont get how important it is for people who never see their families to spend holidays with them sometimes. Luckily my FI is cool with us splitting our time equally. 

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If I were your sister, I would be pretty upset if they spend ALL the holidays with his family and this one year she wants to spend time with your mom and he says no.

Post # 5
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@arsing89:  + 1

If it were my sister I would find a time to discuss it with her privately. And offer ways to express to her husband that it is important for her to spend holidays with her family too. Especially since your mom’s side of the family hasn’t even met the baby. I feel bad for her, she shouldn’t have to worry about upsetting her MIL, and her husband should stand behind her. Tough if family is offended, wife and baby are your #1 and 2 now.

Post # 6
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

@arsing89:  +1.  I’d be pissed at my husband.  

Post # 7
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Unfortunately I don’t think this is your business to get in the middle of whatsoever, it’s their family business to deal with.

Aside from that I’d say your sister’s husband is being a total brat.

Post # 8
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

While I would be super irritated with my DH if he did that, I can understand wanting to keep the peace with the family that lives 10 miles away!

Post # 9
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

ugh sorry.  your sister to tell her husband that she would like to see her mom so the baby can meet her family.  her husband sounds controlling.

Post # 10
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@arsing89:  +1

Her husband sounds kind of like a whiny jerk, and I’d be livid if I was essentially told that his family is worth more than my family.

The only thing that really concerns me is that though this baby was born in October, your mom hasn’t seen it…  And why is that excatly?  I could understand why your sister hasn’t taken the baby to Ohio yet (hello child birth and brand new infant), but is there some particular reason why your mom couldn’t make the trek out there?

Post # 11
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

If your sister just gave up the fight and gave in to her husband she is just as much the problem as he is.  He sounds like a total jerk and she is sounding like a doormat.

Post # 12
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just be glad it’s not your battle to fight. It’s hers. I agree it sucks and he’s being a dick, but what can you do?

Post # 13
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think it’s really your business to get into it but if I were your sister I would put my foot down and go to see your mom.

Post # 14
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sara5ann:  This is your sister’s battle to fight. I don’t blame her husband for wanting to spend baby’s first xmas with his family even though they see them all the time, and I don’t blame her for wanting to spend it with your family.  But, it’s not a decision for either one of them to make on their own, they need to come up with the solution that works best for their family.

It sucks, but I totally get it because we are in a similar situation – live near DH’s parents but far from mine.  I typically am more likely to forego holiday’s with my family because I find it to be a pain (and expensive) to travel and would rather plan a less stressful trip where I can stay for longer and enjoy it.  However, I don’t really place high value on holidays – I think any day spent with family is wonderful and it doesn’t matter if it’s a holiday or not.

Post # 15
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@arsing89:  +1 It seems kind of unfair. Your sister needs to put her foot down. If they don’t end up coming for Christmas, then they should try to come for Easter. What’s fair is fair.

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