Post # 1
I’m in a sticky situation and feeling like I’m being selfish and a bit childish.
Sharing the spotlight: My BIL got married last month without telling anyone in the family. Told us (husband, myself, and SIL) and no one else about it a week later, and just told the rest of the family about a week ago. She has never met anyone in the family and the first time will be at the big day. (I call it the big day because it’s a renewal, but my family considers it a wedding so big day it is. lol) I told my husband I’m not happy about it, and he told me not to worry about it. But I am worrying about it because I feel like the spotlight will be taken off of us and put onto them since everyone knows we are already married and I have been around his family for the last four years. I have been looking forward to meeting her myself, and am including her in the pre big day events planned with my friends and family (ie… rehersal, bridal party night, night before girls night, ect…). I’m not sure how to handle this situation if his side of the family is all over them about them getting married and when their big day will be… I’m going to try and not to let it get to me, but idk how to do that.
Possibly stolen spotlight: Also My aunt is coming and she has at the last four family weddings had a reason to be the center of my side of the families attention. At my mom and step dad’s she announced her secret wedding to her second husband. At my uncles she announced her devorice to said second husband. At my other aunts she announced her new engagement. At my sisters she created a dumb problem over my great grans watch my sister wore because she wanted it to keep. Just a stupid reason to casue a problem. Now I wonder how she will try to gain spotlight at my big day. I can’t not invite her without even worse problems. Idk how to handle her. Oh and she has been known to get drunk and mean at family events not all, but a lot. Also worrying about FIL bringing his mistress to the big day.
These are the only problems with family, everyone else is being helpful. And the BIL’s new wife isn’t a problem just a concern, and that’s where I feel a bit selfish/ childish that she may accidentally take the spotlight. Erg! What to do?
Post # 3
I’m confused – so you are married or you are getting married. You refer to you & your husband as being married already??
I understand how you feel about other people stealing the spotlight though. My sister has been announcing for months that her & her husband are going to start trying to get pregnant in the fall so I’m sure she’ll announce the big news around my wedding in November. Argh.
Post # 4
@engaged711: Sorry for confusing you… I am Married. Planning a ‘Big Day’ (a vow renewal) since our families weren’t there for the actually wedding, and they are all calling it a wedding so I just call it a big day so I don’t offenend anyone else while I’m on boards.
Post # 5
What makes it so the spotlight would potentially be shared exactly? Because I can tell you, at my wedding, everyone did not follow me around or keep their eyes plastered to me all night and when I had conversations with people it wasn’t about all my wedding details or how great I looked. It was a normal party which I happened to be in a wedding dress and had to make more rounds. Are you worried that everyone is going to crowd around her or be talking to her during your vows?
As for the spotlight stealing from your aunt, is that really all you remember from those weddings? Or rather was it really just a blip in the night of activities. Plus at those weddings, who all cared? Did any of the people who didn’t know your aunt? It’s likely you only knew because you are a relative.
I’m just trying to give another perspective.
Post # 6
if people are intent on creating drama and “taking your spotlight” *roll eyes*, there is little you can do so just smile and get on with enjoying your day
Post # 7
Just relax. Don’t worry about your Aunt, I think it’s kind of cool, like “what will she say this time?” “Remember at such and such’s wedding when she said this?!” Haha, families.
As for your BIL. Yes, they will be excited to meet the new girl, but it’s not as if they won’t be paying attention during the vows or speeches etc. You can’t talk to everyone all the time so in the between times they’ll be talking to her, just as per normal. 🙂
Don’t stress, if you stress about it you’ll just add to any drama.
Post # 8
@Talishazwi: The first time meeting BIL’s wife is the sharing part. I don’t expect my guests to be all over me. It’s mainly feeling like they would be the center of attention with his family, probably becasue of how my family has acted in the past. I guess your right they were a part of what happened, but not the most memeroble, but they still get brought up which raised that concern.
@Everdeen: When you put it that way it feels like I don’t need to worry and that she’s just my crazy aunt haha.
*Taking deep breath* *Letting go* Thanks for the vent and for making me realize it’s just a part not the whole.
Post # 9
@molliechristine: Venting is more than fine! And yes, she is just a crazy aunt. 😛 Glad to hear that you are letting go. Much more important things to worry about.