- 3 years ago
My husband and I are moving into a new place. If you look at my previous posts, we decided to find a place for just the two of us instead of living with roommates as we have done for years now.
Part of it being just the two of us means needing to get smarter with our money and actually implement and follow a budget. Our housing costs are naturally going to go up. It’s doable, but it’s going to be tight.
I want to say right now: We have never had a fight about money. I hope this continues to be true.
We have both been free spirits when it came to money, but that has to end. I handled the money, but it was very basic. I would let him know, “Hey, this bill comes out this week,” and he would very occasionally check the bank balance. Other than that, we spent as we pleased.
Now things are more complicated because we simply don’t have that freedom anymore. I have made a budget. His eyes have glazed over the few times I have tried to talk to him about it. He just says, “Sounds good,” without really getting it, it seems. I ask for his input, and he doesn’t want to give any. I ask him to sit down with me and go over spending, and it just turns into me talking to him while he looks at me like I’m crazy.
The only solution I can think of:
1. make a cash budget for his work money and groceries (that way, since I do the grocery shopping, we both have a cash budget, and it won’t feel like an allowance to him – and, to be honest, I am also a spender, so I need to control my grocery spending.) He thinks he only spends $20 per week on snacks and drinks while working. I pack him a lunch everday. Even so, using a budget app, I have discovered that since Jan 1, he has spent $250. All small amounts (<$5 each!) on his debit card.
2. make it simple for him. handle all the money, keep all money anxiety to myself since he doesn’t want to hear it (unless there is a major problem), and just tell him raw facts: “this month, we have X for this and Y for that.”
3. for me, just learn to let it go. accept he’s not interested in being involved in the budgeting process.