Post # 1
I was just wondering if anyone on here has lived/is living overseas with their military spouse, and what the experience is like??
My Fiance has orders to Ramstein, Germany for 2 years starting in April, and our plan is to get married, and I will join him over there next year once I finish grad school. BUT I have this fear of him getting orders to deploy, AFTER I move to Germany… and what I should do if that happens (especially since he’ll/we’ll be living off-base)
At one point it crossed my mind that maybe I shouldn’t move over there if it will only be for a year, but he was NOT a fan of that idea… separation anxiety LOL
Anyone been in a similar situation?
Post # 3
My husband and I were looking into moving overseas this October, but changed our minds when my nursing graduation was pushed back a month. I did a TON of research and honestly, I am super bummed we decided not to go.
Living in another country is great- I’ve heard a lot of the spouses form tight bonds (I’m sort of a lone wolf, so I can’t really offer any insight on this).
My opinion is if you can live together, you should. My husband is gone 50-80 percent of the year, when there’s an opportunity to be a normal married couple (aka being together) we jump at it.
Also, I’m in school with a girl whose father is a Naval Aviator- she lived in Germany with her family for quite awhile. She and her family absolutely adored living there.
Post # 4
We are currently stationed overseas in England. You need to look into the ramifications of you marrying and moving later on. It’s going to be much harder to obtain command sponsorship, entry visas, etc… not to mention that the military will only pay to move a spouse on orders so all of your moving expenses will have to be totally out of your pocket and an international move is really, really expensive.
Personally… I would just stay in the states or delay your last year of school and go with him now. I wouldn’t try to go mid-tour.
Post # 5
@maureen9004: thanks for your input!! He would love it if I just came now, but he doesn’t want me to delay getting my degree…
@zippylef: Do you mean the ramifications of just getting married later? Or of getting married AND moving later?
He’s actually flying out on April 7, and he’s in his hometown on leave now, so we kinda felt that it would be near impossible for me to get added to his orders before he left. Even if we got married in the next coupla weeks, he would prolly do the paperwork once he got to Ramstein. BUT, since I’ll be going from my parents’ home to his, I really won’t bring much of anything other than clothes. I’ll prolly keep all of my extras at home until he gets back stateside.
ugh it sounded like a good plan but I def have more to think about…
Post # 6
@Dimples723: You should get married now if you’re going to get married. He’ll get more housing allowance (if they can get his orders changed to accompanied) and you’ll recieve benefits. He’ll also recieve slightly more DLA (or the overseas equivelent) Also, if you move quick enough they likely can add you to his orders (it needs to happen like now though! We had some friends do this before an international move)
Even if you don’t end up moving, it’s nice to be a dependent. You may be able to hop on a Space A flight to go see him.
I assumed when reading your post you two do not currently live together so when the military moved him he would take everything and you would fly out after your program with some belongings (a very easy move for you).
You have to do what’s best for you though! I always get excited thinking about these things, my favorite thing about the military is the PCSing. I love living in different places.
Post # 7
@maureen9004: Totally agree!
OP, we’re not overseas, but my BIL is. He was stationed over in Asia for a year before he and my sister got married. They ultimately decided she should not move over to be with him so she could get more experience with work, but they did want to for awhile after getting married.
She has gone to visit him twice I believe, and he has come home about two times a year for 2 years. So, I think they try to see each other every 3 months on average if you don’t count the chunk of time he was deployed. Which, considering he is halfway around the world, I think is pretty good!
All that to say, get legally married before he leaves if at ALL possible, but if you choose to stay here, you have options. 🙂
Post # 8
@maureen9004: and, @subbywife11:
Thanks so much for your input!! I might give my parents a heart attack, considering we JUST got engaged on Leap Day (and he actually asked me lol) but we’re %100000 sure about being together, and we’re trying to prepare for this transition as much as possible.
So, he’s gonna go to the base in his hometown to get some more info before I go to se him next wknd, and we’ll probably get married down there. Or, I may get a marriage license from my hometown, and have my father (a pastor) perform a ceremony when Fiance comes back up this way for a week before heading overseas. Either way I’m def gonna have a wedding/vow renewal next year.
More decisons!! But I’m so grateful for all of your advice!!
Post # 9
@Dimples723: If you guys do a JOP, it only takes 1 day to process all the regular paperwork for you to be enrolled in DEERS, Tricare and officially claimed as his spouse. It’s a long day of waiting in line, but it can be done quickly.
Post # 10
@zippylef: Well, I guess I’ll be spending my day off at Dover AFB when Fiance comes back lol
Thanks again everyone! I’m sure I’ll end up with 20 more questions
Post # 10
My son is getting married and he is stationed in Germany. He is supposed to come back to the states next year and finish his contract of 4 yrs. But he was told if he gets married he will have to finish all 4 yrs out in Germany and he has to take his new wife with him. is this true?